


Because of you: My life is complete

by Lexkru



Series: Because of you [2]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan, clexa - Fandom
Genre: Adult Clexa, Angst, Anya & Clarke Griffin Friendship, Ardyn being a gem, Artist Clarke Griffin, Babies, Bachelorette Party, Clarke being Crazy, Clexa, Clexa family, College Clexa, Domestic Clexa, Endgame, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fucking tags stress me out!, G!p Lexa, Gen, Intersex Lexa (The 100), Lexa and Clarke kid(s), Lexa's famous and her fans love clarke, M/M, Married Life, Multi, Octavia bossing Lexa around, Ranya issues, Ranya wedding, Sequel, Soulmates Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Writer Lexa (The 100), clexa wedding, famous lexa, go read part one!!, happiness, lots of drama but also lots of cute shit too!, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 72,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27663515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexkru/pseuds/Lexkru
Summary: Sequel to Because of You this story follows adult Clarke and Lexa as they navigate Lexa's new found fame as a best selling author.Throughout the story we get to look back on the last eight years of their relationship, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Jake Griffin, Anya/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: Because of you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982746
Comments: 139
Kudos: 275





	1. The Skai Princess and The Commander In Real Life

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Because of you the sequel this story will be a whirlwind filled with flashbacks and angst and happiness and everything! 
> 
> as always mistakes are mine bc i suck;)

**July 2028**

“Baby I’m going to be late.” Lexa called, their house was a mess, and she needed her jacket.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke replied before rushing into the room, “It’s getting hard walking around like this.”

Lexa smiled watching her Fiancé walk towards her, her growing stomach perfectly showing thanks to her tight sundress. Eight years together and she never imagined being lucky enough for this to be her life.

“Here, freshly ironed.” Clarke held out the jacket for Lexa to get into before smoothing all the wrinkles out, “Your baby is killing me today.”

“I’m sorry babe.” Lexa frowned crouching down putting her hands on the blonde’s bump, “Give your mama a break ok, she’s working really hard to carry you in there.” Lexa smiled feeling a few kicks around her hands,

“He loves your voice.” Clarke smirked watching her soon to be wife whisper how much she loved their little baby,

“I can’t wait to meet you little one.”

“As much as I love this, you’re going to be late.” Clarke smiled, “Are you ready for this?”

“My first Tv interview that I’m incredibly nervous for?” Lexa breathed out nervously running her fingers through her hair, “I’m totally ready.”

“You’ll be amazing babe; people love your book, and they will love you.”

“Really they love the Skai princess.” She smirked,

“That too, but mostly you, now come on.”

The whole drive to the studio Lexa’s nerves were frantic, this book has been her baby for the last eight years and to finally release it scared her. It scared her that people would hate it and rip her apart in the reviews, but it was the opposite.

The first week of her release her book was already number one on the New York times best sellers and people loved it. It gained a following quickly and in turn Lexa blew up on Instagram. The fame was coming at a rapid pace and before she knew it, she was being called for interviews and photoshoots it was crazy.

Thankfully, she had her rock by her side the entire time, Clarke had been incredible throughout thing and her fans loved her too which she enjoyed. She likes to joke she’s insta famous now which is basically true, everyone loves the Skai Princess.

When they arrived at the studio Lexa met her publicist at the door to brief her on any questions she will be asked and any questions she doesn’t want to answer. For the most part she was open to answer anything, there was nothing in her life she felt like she needed to hide and most of it is in her book.

“Are you willing to answer questions about Clarke?”

Lexa looked at her Fiancé who smiled and shrugged,

“No questions are off limits.” Lexa replied,

“You say that now until she asks you something random and your caught off guard!”

“If it’s random how would it matter if I had restrictions?”

“I should’ve reconsidered when you asked me to be your publicist, you’re such a headache.”

“You know you love me O.” she smiled at Octavia who rolled her eyes, Lexa didn’t trust anyone else to handle her career and although O was relatively new, she trusted her.

“You’re lucky I do, or I would’ve tossed you to the curb already.” She smiled, “Ok back to business, the main points of this interview is getting exposure. Everyone loves the book; they love the main characters and the romance especially because it is a same sex couple now, we just need to get people to love you. Instagram was a good start, your fans have a sense of who you are but now they get to really see you, I know you’re nervous, but you just need to be yourself. People love you.”

“It’s true.” Clarke chimed in,

“10 minutes until we start.” One of the assistants yelled,

“I’m going to talk to the host, be ready.” Octavia demanded before walking off,

“You’ll be great baby.” Clarke said, wrapping her hands around the girl’s waist, “Like O said, just be yourself show people who Lexa Trikru is.”

“I love you so much.” Lexa smiled,

“I love you too commander.”

* * *

“Alright everyone, welcome back to another episode of In Bed with Roma I am of course you your lovely host Roma and todays guest I’m very excited about.” The women smiled, “Bestselling author of everyone’s new favorite dystopian romance Lexa Trikru!”

“Thanks for having me, I’m glad my first interview on tv can be in a bed.” Lexa smiled,

“Well I am glad to take your Tv virginity.” They laughed, “Ok, I know your book just released a little under a month ago. Is it crazy that you’ve gained this much notoriety already?”

“Oh gosh definitely, I was fully prepared for negative reviews and people not liking my writing, but it was the complete opposite and I’m still amazed at how amazing everyone has been.”

“Is it true you started writing this book almost eight years ago, and it even had a different name?” Roma asked and Lexa nodded,

“Yeah so when I first started writing Command my Heart, I just called it The Skai Princess and The Commander.”

“And was it ever supposed to take you this long?”

Lexa laughed,

“No actually, well when I first started writing it was just one chapter and it was always meant to be a short story. I wrote it for my now fiancé Clarke as a tribute to our relationship and it spiraled from there.”

“Your book is such an interesting concept, sure we have so many post-apocalyptic ya novels but this one to me isn’t like those. It has war, drama, romance, Extra-terrestrial elements and even some mental health tones, how is exactly did you come up with the idea?”

“The concept itself sort of derived from a painting my now fiancé Clarke did back when we were seventeen.” Lexa explained, “She’s an amazing artist and for a contest she decided she wanted to draw me. It was a portrait but instead of the traditional route she made me into this badass warrior from a post-apocalyptic world and it sparked this idea in me that bloomed into Command my heart.”

“Speaking of your fiancé, how does she feel about all your success?”

“Clarke is amazing she’s actually here with me.” Lexa pointed off stage where Clarke was sitting and smiling, “She’s been my biggest cheerleader since we met, and she couldn’t be prouder of me. And I have to publicly thank her for the amazing cover art and illustrations she did for the book. Thank you baby I love you!”

“Your followers also adore her as much as you do it seems; they can’t get enough of you two. Do you think it’s because they see you as the two main characters of your book, Commander Larsen and Princess Clyoe” (pronounced Cleo)

“Absolutely, and to an extent me and Clarke are those people. This story was always supposed to be our love story, obviously it’s embellished and different but at the core it’s about us.”

“I love that!” Roma gushed, “Ok I have to ask, will there be a sequel? I mean that ending!! I about screamed when I realized it was the last page.”

“That seems to be everyone’s reaction even Clarke’s who wasn’t happy at the ending.” She laughed, “But I’m happy to announce there will be a second book and a third to round it out.”

“You heard it here first guys Command my heart will have two more installments. Now what about a movie would you ever consider having your book come to life on the big screen?”

“For me that’s difficult, I’m not against it but this book is something I’ve cherished and loved for eight years and the thought of someone messing that up scares me. So, I think with the right Director and actresses then yes Command my heart on the big screen would be amazing.” 

“Amazing, you hear that directors? Start blowing up her phone!!” “Let’s switch gear a bit and focus on you, since this is your first real interview what can we know about Lexa Trikru?”

“Well is there anything you’d like to know?”

“How about we start with your personal life, on your social media you shared your past struggles with alcohol addiction. Can you tell us why you chose to share that?”

“My main reason was because I know most of the people who follow me and have read my book are probably in their teens and the time when I was struggling with alcohol was when I was a teen. I lost my mom, and it was incredibly hard, and alcohol was something I used instead of dealing with that. I know sharing my story can only do so much but providing access to help and letting people know they aren’t alone can do a world of a difference.”

“I know you said this was something you struggled with as a teen, is your sobriety something you still struggle with today?” Roma asked,

“Yes and No, for me drinking was a substitution for mourning. Once I learned how to handle my grief properly drinking was as big of an issue for me anymore. I’ve been sober for almost nine years but there are still times where I struggle but I have an amazing support system around me so that helps.”

“What would you say helped you most?”

“Family, patience, therapy and honestly Clarke. I met her when I was in the middle of dealing with my issues and she never let me face it alone. Without her I honestly don’t know where I would’ve turned up.”

“You and Clarke seem to have an amazing relationship; I think I speak for all of your fans when I say we’re beyond happy for you. Your relationship seems perfect, but was there ever a time where you felt like it would end or did you both always know you wanted to be together forever?”

Lexa thought the answer would be simple, yes, she did always want to be with Clarke forever and that was true but they were like any other couple, they fought and argued but in the end they knew this is where they wanted to be.

“Me and Clarke always knew we’d be together no matter what, but I’d say college was probably the hardest on us as a couple. We struggled and argued but, in the end, we wanted to be together and so we are. We’re not perfect no couple is, and a relationship only works if both people want it to.”

* * *

Clarke watched the interview with a smile watching Lexa answer every question with ease, eight years ago she only dreamed she’d get to keep this girl forever now here she was engaged and pregnant.

They were finally getting everything they wanted even if they had a few speed bumps along the way it was all worth it. Worth the stress and crying even the arguing and fighting everyone bit of it was all worth it.

When the interview was over Clarke noticed Lexa and Roma heading her way, so she tried her hardest to get out of the chair to no avail. This baby was really kicking her ass.

“Baby, hold on.” Lexa rushed over to help the blonde up,

“I could’ve gotten there eventually.” Clarke smiled, “The interview was great, you did as amazing as I knew you would.”

“My good luck charm was here, even though she should be home in bed.”

“I couldn’t miss this, it’s nice to meet you officially.” Clarke held out her hand which Roma took, “I love your show.”

“Thank you! Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough to have you in my bed.”

“Oh, I’m definitely not worthy.” Clarke laughed,

“I’d beg to differ; your artwork is amazing, and people adore you. I hear classes have been booked up to the year.”

“Yeah, mostly because with partial bed rest I can’t really teach.”

After high school Clarke did what she planned and got her degree in art therapy, after graduation she worked at many small practices before opening her own place. It was very successful, and she was amazed but ultimately just happy she can help so many people. She even does regular art classes which get booked pretty quickly but she loved teaching too.

“When you go back I’ll have to book a class.”

“I hope I see you.” Clarke smiled, Roma and Lexa said their goodbyes before the pair left the building. When they got to their car Octavia was waiting with a smile and neither girl knew what to expect.

“What is it?” Lexa asked the girl,

“So, you know how I told you I might have another potential client?” O asked smiling, “Well I landed it! I am officially a publicist to not only one up and coming star but two!”

“O that’s amazing” Clarke cheered hugging her best friend, she knew how hard she was working to prove herself in this business, so she was elated for her.

“That is great.” Lexa smiled, “You better still have time for me!”

“I won’t don’t worry; I won’t go Hollywood and leave you behind just yet.” The girl winked,

“We have to celebrate.” Clarke said,

“Way ahead of you, everyone is meeting us downtown for dinner even our parents.”

“Text us the address.” Clarke said getting into the passenger seat, standing was only possible for a short amount of time. Hence partial bedrest.

“We’ll see you there.” Lexa told the girl before getting in the car and driving off.

She didn’t really want to start a fight with Clarke, but she also didn’t think it would be the best idea for them to go out. She was pregnant and already having a hard time walking and sitting up right for too long.

“I can hear you think.” Clarke said, dragging the brunette from her thoughts, “It’ll be fine, I feel better today.”

“Even so Clarke I don’t want to push it, you’ve been up most of today and yesterday.”

“And I feel ok, I know after last time you’re worried and so am I but I promise I won’t push myself more than necessary.” Clarke knew Lexa’s worrying was validated but this isn’t like last time and she was fine, her and the baby were fine.

“An hour.” Lexa sighed and Clarke cheered, “Then we go home, and I take you to bed.”

“Ooh I like the sound of that commander.” She smirked,

“To rest.” Lexa clarified,

“We’ll see.”

* * *

When they got to the restaurant everyone else was already there and seated.

“There you are!” Abby rushed to the couple giving both of them big hugs, “How was the interview?”

“Great, it airs tonight at 8.” Lexa smiled; Abby had become a surrogate mom to her from the moment she became apart of Clarkes life. She loved the woman and Jake and was excited to have them as her family, officially.

“I can’t wait to watch.” She said excitedly, “How are you, the baby still giving you trouble?”

“He has but it’s getting better, the tips you gave me have helped and having Lexa home with me helps too.” Clarke smiled at her fiancé; she never gets tried of saying that.

“Just two more months and he’ll be here, come sit.”

Although Clarke and Lexa still live in California, they did buy a home in LA which is a couple hours from Arkadia where their parents still live. Luckily, most of their friends also moved to LA so they could see them almost all the time with the exception of Murphy and Emori who live in New York now, but they visit.

“There’s my big shot sister.” Anya smiled giving Lexa a hug then Clarke, “To famous to call?”

“Shove it, I call all the time you never answer.”

“She answers my calls.” Clarke says and Anya shrugs getting a look from Lexa,

“She doesn’t grill me with questions.” Anya points out,

“I ask you how you are.”

“That’s a question.” Anya says, “Plus I’m great.”

Lexa knew that wasn’t completely true, but this wasn’t the time or place to have that discussion.

“Sorry I’m late.”

Lexa turned to see Raven walking over to the restaurant and immediately looked at her sister who was starring at the girl. They hadn’t seen each other since their breakup and Lexa and everyone else knew that was probably for the best.

She watched as Raven looked for a seat but the only one available was across from Anya. Everyone watched silently as Raven made her way to the seat smiling at the girl across form her before turning to Clarke.

“How’s my troublemaker?” Raven smiled,

“Making trouble.” The blonde answered, “But he’s healthy and that’s all that matters. How’s your project?”

Raven was the lead engineer for a tech company in downtown LA, she was basically the brains of the whole operation as she likes to say.

“Good so far, could be better if everyone on my team wasn’t an idiot but we can’t all have beauty and brains.” Raven shrugged trying her best to ignore Anya’s smiled at her comment, “What about you Lexa, did the interview go well?”

“It did, you can see me on Tv tonight at 8.”

“I’ll be there, so why are we here?” Raven asked, “Not that I don’t love you guys but there has to be a reason, right?”

“I think O should be the one to share why we’re here.” Clarke said gesturing to the girl who was sitting next to Lincoln.

“Well, what is it you pregnant too?” Raven asked and Aurora’s eyes about popped out of her head,

“What? No dumbass.” Octavia stood up, “We’re here because as of an hour ago I became a multiclient publicist.”

“That’s great sweetheart!” Aurora hugged the girl, and everyone else fell in line giving their congratulations.

The rest of the dinner went well besides the longing looks Anya was throwing Ravens way which Clarke could help but notice. She knew what happened with them was only six months ago but if felt like years and she hated it. She hated having to avoid Ravens name when talking to Anya and vice versa. They needed to fix this, and Clarke might just have to play cupid.

“Ok, I have to get this one home.” Lexa announced ignoring Clarkes pout,

“Best rest awaits.” Clarke stood up from her chair going over to hug her parent and Gustus and Aurora. “You guys have to have to come to the house sometime.”

“It has been a while since we visited.” Gustus said, “How about the weekend?”

“Sounds good dad.” Lexa hugged the man and said bye to their friends before dragging Clarke out to the car.

The whole ride home Clarke was quiet, and Lexa hoped it wasn’t because she was upset with her. She wasn’t purposefully trying to make the girl unhappy, but her health was important, and she worried surly Clarke understood that.

When they got the house, Lexa helped the blonde upstairs and into their room where she started to undress.

The quiet was killing her, Clarke didn’t look mad, but the pregnancy hormones have been crazy, so she never knows when it’s coming.

“Are you upset with me?” she finally asks, and Clarke turns to her, her dress was off and all the remained were her bra and underwear. “I know you hate being in the house like this but it’s what the doctor thinks is best, and I don’t want anything bad to happen.” _Again._

“I know and I’m not upset.” Clarke smiled reassuringly,

“Then why have you been so quiet?”

“Well during the car ride, I started thinking of names, still none I like yet but the perfect one will hit me soon enough.”

“I still like Aden.” Lexa reminded and Clarke shook her head,

“Too basic, he needs a unique name like Ryder or Collins.”

“Those are awful.” Lexa laughed,

“Yeah.”

“But we still have time.”

“Two months.” She smiled wrapping her arms around her huge bump, “Now help me onto the bed so I can try and be sexy and give you kisses.”

Lexa laughed helping the girl onto their bed watching her unhook and discard her bra throwing it on the floor. Clarke’s chest was already amazing and big, but this pregnancy made Lexa love them even more.

“Stop trying to seduce me.” Lexa smirked,

“I would never, you know I hate sleeping in a bra.”

“And a shirt?”

“Yes, I’ve recently had a distain for any fabric clinging to my body while I sleep.” She smiled innocently, “Now can I have my kisses?”

“I could never refuse my princess.” Lexa smirked leaning down to claim her fiancé’s lips. She knew Clarke wanted this to turn into more and they did still have sex, but Lexa was always cautious. She never wanted to hurt Clarke or be too rough, it honestly scared her that she would do something wrong even with Clarkes assurances.

She tried to back away from the kiss, but Clarke had a tight grip on her shirt,

“Clarke.” She groaned feeling the girls hand snake into her loose sweatpants,

“You want this too.”

“You need to rest.”

“Resting isn’t fun.” She pouted, and Lexa laughed,

“I know baby, but if you rest today, I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” She smiled kissing the girl once more,

“Fine.” She pouted again, “But I want ice cream.”

“Anything you want princess.” Lexa smiled before walking out of the room,

“With whip cream!” Clarke yelled,

“Duh!” she heard back and couldn’t help but laugh, how the hell is she this lucky?


	2. Bad things happen when we don't mind our business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meddles where she shouldn't and we meet two new characters!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, enjoy and be prepared for a sad-ish ending!

It was day infinity of bed rest and Clarke was officially over the whole thing completely. Just today she cleaned the house three times, painted four paintings and finished the last episodes of the show she started the day before leaving nothing else to do.

Lexa was out at meetings with Octavia, so she was home alone which didn’t help. She knew Lexa couldn’t be there 24/7 but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be sad about it, but she usually didn’t stay out long which was a plus.

Clarke knew bedrest was a must because of her complications and she was more than willing to do it if it meant keeping their baby healthy and safe, but she hadn’t imagined it being this hard. But after what happened last time her nor Lexa wanted to take any risks.

The biggest downside for Clarke is missing work, she missed her patients and felt guilty when she had to reassign them to different specialist in her studio. She knew they all understood but she felt like she was abandoning them after making so much progress. In the beginning of partial bedrest, she tried to work at least twice a week but after a couple weeks she couldn’t do it. Her back pain was intolerable at times and for the most part she can only be up and moving for a few hours at a time sometimes less. This baby was doing a number on her.

After finishing her Tv show and eating all the ice cream they had left Clarke decided it would be nice to sit outside. They lived in LA so the weather was always nice she could use the air, she also needed to do some work which was currently find an assistant and maybe a manger for her studio.

Never in a million years would she have guess she’d be anyone’s boss especially not at twenty-five, but she also didn’t think she’d be pregnant this soon either, so life’s unpredictability hasn’t ceased to amaze her yet.

She quickly grabbed her iPad before making her way outside and sat on of the fluffy lounge chairs that decorated the porch.

It had only been a couple of days since she posted the listings, but she had a few responses nothing better to do than review them. Halfway through looking she saw a familiar car pulling into her driveway and couldn’t help but smile.

She watched the girl get out of her car and walk up to the porch, with two cups from her favorite ice cream place.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Clarke smiled taking the ice cream from the girl,

“Can’t come see my sister?” Anya asked sitting next to the blonde

“Of course.” Clarke smiled, she loved when Anya referred to them as sisters, “But did Lexa send you?”

“No although I was on the phone with her and she said you might be cranky because you ran out of ice cream so I figured I could bring you more.”

“This is why you’re my favorite.” Clarke wasted no time before digging into the creamy goodness in the cup, “I’m glad you called her, she really doesn’t understand why you don’t answer.”

“I would answer if I knew she wouldn’t ask me questions about how I am or Raven.” She sighed, “But I’m not here to talk about that, I’m here to chill with you and my nephew.”

“Fine then you can help.” She handed the girl her iPad, “I need an assistant.”

“Why?” Anya asked taking the iPad and scrolling through the applications,

“Because I run a business that needs upheld and Lexa’s busy with her own stuff, I don’t want her running around for me too.”

“Fair enough, she pretty cute.” She smiled turning the screen revealing a woman with a dark brown bob and beautiful brown eyes to match,

“This isn’t a dating app Anya, looks don’t matter what are her credentials.”

“You know how to take all the fun out of it, her name is Jillian, she’s 23 and just graduated from an associates’ program in legal studies, has no office experience, but she’s worked in retail.”

“Ok not horrible who’s next.”

“Next we have Andi, 21 part time college student current dog walker.”

“What’s her other work experience?” Clarke asked,

“Just says dog walker.”

“Did any guys apply or just women?”

“There’s one guy.” Anya answered swiping her finger across the screen, “His name is Ardyn-.”

“Good name.” Clarke commented eating the last bit of her ice cream,

“He is 23, has an associates in Fashion and Design, he was a personal assistant to one of his teachers after graduating technical school and he did that for about a year.”

“Let me see.” Clarke leaned over looking at the profile picture Ardyn provided, from what she could tell he was quite tall and very fashion forward hence the degree. His skin was a deep bronze that shimmered perfectly in the light and he had incredible bright hazel eyes. All in all, he was very attractive and young and the only one who applied with experience it seems, not that experience automatically qualifies you for a job, but it helps.

“Let’s ask him for an interview.”

“How do I do that?” Anya asks,

“Press the button that says interview.”

Anya browsed the screen seeing there was in fact a big blue button that said Interview.

“Smartass.” She said rolling her eyes,

“Ask if he’s available today.”

“That’s soon Clarke.”

“But I’m so bored.” She groaned, “Just ask if he can’t make sure he knows another day is perfectly fine.”

“What made you pick him?” Anya asks,

“He’s adorable and has experience.”

“Valid reasons.” Anya laughed, “Oh look, he’s available for 5pm today.”

“What time Is it?”

“3:45.”

“Will you stay, maybe size him up a little. You can be my intimidating factor.”

“Why me? You’re way more intimidating blondie.”

“I can’t scare away my potential employee obviously.” Clarke said struggling to stand from chair before Anya moved to help, “I should change!”

* * *

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Octavia asked for the fiftieth time,

“Yes, she’s been lonely in the house and I think this would help.” Lexa smiled, “Plus she loves puppies.”

The pair had just finished a meeting and were driving past a animal shelter when Lexa decided to pull over to it. She knew Clarke was getting restless in the house so maybe a pet would help plus they always talked about having a family dog why not get it now.

“You’re about to have a newborn are you sure it’s the best time to get a puppy?”

Lexa smiled looking at all the puppies in the cages, it made her sad, but the woman assured her they have a high adoption rate which gave her some peace of mind.

“Octavia I’m getting the damn dog so stop trying to be the voice of reason and help me pick.” They were all so cute, but she couldn’t get them all, Clarke would definitely kill her.

“Fine.” Octavia sighed taking a look at all the puppies, stopping at one. “This one.”

Lexa made her way over to the dog; it was a huskie with one ice blue eye and a rich brown one. It was small, maybe a month or two old and the cutest thing Lexa’s ever seen.

“She’s perfect.” Lexa smiled leaning down to the cage, the dog immediately ran towards her its tail going crazy, “Do you want to come home with me?”

The dog barked a soft adorable sound and Lexa took that as a yes, she found the worker so she could get her out of the cage. Once she was free, she ran right into Lexa’s arms giving her small licks on her face.

“She likes you.” The worker smiled, “She’s usually shy.”

“Can I take her home today?” Lexa asked still fully enthralled with the puppy,

“Of course, we just have paperwork and some other things like vet appointments and shots, and you should be good to go!”

* * *

It was 4:45 when Clarke heard the doorbell ring, Anya helped her off the couch and they both walked to answer the door.

“Don’t forget to look scary.” Clarke said making the girl roll her eyes,

“Just open the door.”

Clarke took a breathe before opening the door revealing Ardyn, her potential new assistant. He was dressed in cute plaid dress pants and a dark grey polo as well as Gucci slip on dress shoes. Very fashionable, Clarke loved it.

“You must be Ardyn Fox.” Clarke smiled big wondering if she should tone it down,

“That’s me!” he smiled,

“It’s good to meet you, come in.”

Clarke ushered the man into the living-room where she set up some cookies and tea, she had no clue how to hold an interview outside of a professional setting. Anya told her the food was a little much, but she was trying to be welcoming.

“So Ardyn first I must say I love your name it sounds very posh definitely a celebrity name.” Clarke said,

“That’s the goal, future fashion designer to the stars!”

“Big dreams I love it, so Ardyn tell me a little about yourself.”

“Well, I’m from a very small town in Pennsylvania, ever since I could form a complete thought Fashion has been my passion. When I graduated high school, I moved to New York for Fashion school with the help of my parents who pretty much worked day and night for me to afford it. Once I graduated one of my teachers took me on as an assistant, so I was still able to be in the fashion world and learn while also making money which was great. Up until a few months ago I lived in NY but now I’m an LA resident.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way Ardyn but what made you apply to this job?” Clarke asked, “Your dream is fashion and I doubt working for a hormonal pregnant woman is what you envisioned when you moved to LA.”

“Every dream has it’s steppingstones Ms. Griffin.” He smiled, “Right now I’m looking for work even if it is not fashion related. I want to work on my design while still being able to have an income.”

Already Clarke liked him quite a bit, he was nice and goal oriented, but she couldn’t help but feel he was too good for this job.

“I guess I should probably describe the job for you, so you have a better understanding. As you can see, I’m about six years pregnant and I have some risks so for the most part I’m on bed rest. Which means I can only be up for a certain amount of time, so I’m stuck in the house. As I’m sure you read from the ad I’m a art therapist and I run a studio downtown. I can’t work but my studio is still open, so I need someone to do things like pick up supply orders or just any random things I need. Also, I’m really big on ice cream right now, how do you feel about store runs?”

“Whatever you need I’ll be more than happy to do it.” Ardyn answers and Clarke smiles, she liked him.

“Great! Any questions for me?” Clarke asked,

“Do you have any set hours?”

“My fiancé works three days out of the week so definitely those days and maybe if I have any specific deadlines for things. We’ll probably play it by ear most of the time, but I promise I won’t be running you all around town all hours of the day.”

“Is this your fiancé?” Ardyn asks pointing to Anya who for the most part Clarke forgot was there,

“God no.” Anya exclaimed.

“Well fuck you too.” Clarke said side eyeing the girl,

“I’m the sister-in-law. “Anya corrected, “Clarke couldn’t possible pull someone like me.”

“I got the better sister clearly.” Clarke said, “This is Anya she was supposed to intimidate you a little did it work?”

“Honestly, no but I could see she was trying.” Ardyn laughed Clarke joining in,

“I told you I wasn’t scary.” Anya sighed,

“I have a feeling you can be if you wanted to.” Ardyn added and Clarke agreed,

“You should’ve seen her in high school, very grunge emo kid vibes.” Clarke snickered,

“Fuck off, blondie.” Anya said rolling her eyes, in contrast to eight years ago her appearance had changed a bit. Her hair was shoulder length now, still honey blonde with the occasional black streak. She still mainly wore dark clothes but eased up on the eyeliner, it’s still there just not as thick.

“What do you do Anya?” Ardyn asks,

“I own a club.”

“Really have I heard of it?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged,

“Oh, don’t be modest Anya, it’s very popular in downtown LA.” Clarke smiled, “It called Purgatory, it’s a gay club!”

“I love that place!” Ardyn exclaimed, “I met a tender date there, he sucked but once I ditched him, I’m pretty sure I met the man of my dreams, but it could’ve been the alcohol talking. It was fun though!”

“Glad you enjoyed yourself.” Anya smiled, “We aim to please.”

“So Ardyn.” Clarke says trying to get back on track, “For pay I was thinking maybe roughly $1200-$1500 since I don’t have any set hours for you. No matter how many hours you work I want to pay you the same every week, it helps with taxes and helps you have a steady income.”

“Really?” Ardyn asked surprised,

“LA is a very competitive city and rent is definitely not cheap, I want you to earn enough live and still be able to enjoy your life, plus I’m a lot to handle.” Clarke smiled, “With that being said I really like you Ardyn Fox and even though I think you’re way too good for this job, the position is yours if you want it.”

Before Ardyn could answer, the noise of keys and a door opening grabbed their attention.

“The Commander’s home.” Clarke grinned trying to stand from the couch, Anya once again moving to help her.

Lexa arriving home was always her favorite time of day and when the girl appeared in the living-room her smile only grew.

“Hi princess.” She smiled pulling Clarke into a kiss, “Have you been resting?”

“Yes, I promise although I do have some company.”

Lexa looked over noticing the other two people in the room as well, there was Anya and someone else she didn’t know.

“Hi, I’m Lexa.” She held out her hand which the man took giving it a firm shake,

“Ardyn, you must be the fiancé.” He smiled, seeing how giddy Clarke got at sight of the woman was adorable.

“I am, unless.” Lexa looked at the blonde, “Is there another fiancé I don’t know about.”

“Shut it.” Clarke said hitting her on the arm, “Although he did think Anya was my fiancé.”

“As if she could pull all of this. “Lexa smirked pointing to the blonde,

Anya rolled her eyes ignoring her sisters’ comment,

“Anyways are you a new friend of Clarkes?” Lexa asks,

“Ardyn is potentially my new assistant.” Clarke looked to the man who was smiling, “He hasn’t accepted yet.”

“Ooh, well Ardyn what do you say?” Lexa smirked,

“I’d be very happy to be your assistant Mrs. Griffin.”

“Yay.” Clarke clapped, “Oh and please just call me Clarke.”

Clarke took Ardyn into her home office to exchange some information and set a day for him to start leaving Lexa and Anya alone which the latter wasn’t too keen on.

“Thanks for keeping Clarke company.” Lexa said as she sat next to the woman,

“You don’t have to thank me I wanted to; I love Clarke.”

“I know.” She smiled, “But I know she gets lonely here in the house so I’m sure she was happy to see you.”

“She was, probably because I brought ice cream.”

“I hate this Anya.” Lexa finally said catching the woman off guard, “I was just going to sit here and try, and I have a casual conversation, but I can’t. Did I do something? If I did just tell me because we barley talk anymore, and it hurts me. We worked really hard to fix our relationship after mom and it feels like it’s going back to that place, I mean you talk to Clarke more than me!”

“Are you jealous?” Anya joked but Lexa wasn’t letting up, “Every time we talk you bring up things I don’t want to discuss.”

“Listen I only ask about Raven and your life because I’m interested but now, I understand you don’t want to discuss that so I will stop. I just want to be here for you so from now on no talking about Raven unless you bring up first. Just please don’t shut me out, I miss my big sister.”

Anya sighed leaning into her sisters’ shoulder, she missed Lexa too and one strained relationship was already hard enough.

“I’ll talk about it when I’m ready right now I just need normality.” Anya replied,

“Ok, I get that.”

The two sat in silence until a light barking got their attention,

“You didn’t.” Anya said sitting up from the couch looking at her sister with the biggest grin on her face.

“I’ve been waiting outside for like twenty minute!” Octavia complained carrying the dog into the living room where Lexa and Anya were sitting, “What the hell you said five minutes.”  
“Sorry I got distracted.”

“Fine whatever, Lincolns here I’m leaving love you guys.”

“Love you too.” The girls called,

“Love you Clarkey!” The girl yelled before exiting the house,

“I can’t believe you got a dog.” Anya said watching the small puppy lay in the brunette’s lap, “And it’s cute.”

“Isn’t it!”

Lexa was excited to have a dog, growing up they never had pets and neither did Clarke, so they decided early on they wanted family pets. Of course, that was supposed to be in between kids or after the first was born but this dog was too cute to pass up.

“Thank you Ardyn I’ll see you in a few days.”

They heard Clarke walking the man out and Lexa prepared herself for the reaction. When Clarke entered the living-room she clearly didn’t see the small pup until she lifted her head off of Lexa’s lap spotting the blonde. Quickly it got up and ran over to her surprising the hell out of Clarke.

“Oh my god! Where – wait is this?”

“Our dog! Surprise!” Lexa cheered unable to read the expression on Clarkes face,

“Well, it’s late and I have to do things and stuff, so bye love you guys.” Anya grabbed her jacket before practically running for the door.

Clarke stared down at the small huskie that was playfully pawing at her feet, it was adorable, and she loved it but maybe she should torture Lexa just a little for not discussing it with her first.

“Say something you’re scaring me.” Lexa finally said watching the blonde’s blank expression turn to anger.

“Did you really think I would be ok with this?” Clarke asked trying her best not to laugh at Lexa’s face,

“Yes, I mean-.”

“You mean what? That you could get me a dog, and everything would be okay, and I wouldn’t be lonely in the house all day?”

“Actually yes.” Lexa murmured scared to say anything else, she almost got her head ripped off for accidentally buying fat free whip cream last week and she did not need a repeat of that.

Clarke scowled at her for a few more seconds before giving up the charade and picking up the small puppy.

“What’s her name?” she smiled feeling the small licks on her hands, after a few seconds of not hearing an answer she looked up to the girl who was standing with her arms crossed. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re so evil!” Lexa exclaimed, “You can’t do that!”

“It was funny.” Clarke laughed, she has been very temperamental lately, so this might’ve been a little cruel, “What’s her name?”

“Not that you deserve to know but it’s Nova.”

“I love it, hi Nova!”

* * *

Clarke was already in love with Nova, she was very clingy which she heard pets love pregnant woman so maybe that’s why. Lexa hadn’t said much since Clarke discovered the dog which she felt guilty about.

So, after they got all of Nova stuff settled like her bed, toys, food and everything else Clarke asked for help upstairs which she had to do sometimes. This pregnancy really was kicking her ass, but Lexa was amazing and always waited on her hand and foot. The woman treated her like an actual princess and she definitely didn’t deserve her bitchy-ness.

Once she was in their room, she took off her nice clothes which she never wore anymore but did for the sake of the interview and she put on a sleep dress. She felt disgusting and huge the dress barely fit like many of her clothes but that was the perc of being pregnant.

She watched as Lexa laid on the bed reading a book that Gigi must’ve sent her because it had no cover yet. Gigi loved sending her unpublished novels and getting feedback it was their bonding time.

Clarke looked over at Nova who was sound sleep on their floor before walking over to the bed. They lowered the bed so she could get on it but even that was getting difficult like most things now, she didn’t want to bother Lexa, so she attempted to get up by herself. But as soon as the woman saw her, she hopped up and helped her, _she was the best_.

“Thanks babe.”

“You’re welcome.” Lexa said before going back to her book,

“I’m sorry.” Clarke whispered, “I know I’m a bitch and horrible to you, but I blame pregnancy! Hormones! All of it just don’t hate me.”

“Never.” Lexa said before smiling, “But it is fun to see you sweat a little thinking I’m mad at you.”

“And I’m the evil one!” Clarke laughed smacking the girl on the leg, “I blame you for my bitchy behavior, you put this baby in me.”

“You weren’t complaining then.” Lexa smirked putting her book down,

“Yeah, because it felt so amazing and I was dickmatized.”

“I’m that good huh?”

“You have no idea.” Clarke grinned moving her legs, so she was straddling the girl, “You haven’t even touched me, and I’m soaked.” The blonde grabbed Lexa’s hand moving it between her legs,

“Fuck.” Lexa mumbled feeling the wet heat coat her fingers,

“You do amazing things me commander, this baby being one of them.” She took of her dress revealing her huge bump. She was almost eight months and she was huge. “I wish I could be all graceful and do this properly, but I believe a reward is in order.”

“Oh really?” Lexa asked, “For what exactly.”

“I was a good girl and I relaxed today which means I get a reward.”

“I did promise you, didn’t I?” Lexa smirked kissing the girl before carefully flipping them over, so the blonde was laying flat on the bed.

“Yes, and you always keep your promises.” Clarke could see the brunette’s erection begging to be freed from her sweats and she could feel herself getting wetter,

“You’re right baby girl, I do.” Lexa kissed her way down Clarke’s body lazily sucking on each nipple before peppering soft kisses on her bump until she finally reached the soaked folds that were begging for her attention running her tongue through moaning at the taste.

Since Clarke had such a high-risk pregnancy they didn’t have as much sex as they used to, that being said Clarke was constantly trying to jump her. It’s not that Lexa didn’t want it as well I mean Clarke was carrying her child and she loved her more than anything but hurting her was a fear she had. She didn’t want to be too rough or hurt the baby in anyway and that led to her not wanting to have sex even though they both wanted it.

But as the pregnancy went on, they found ways to enjoy sex and feel comfortable and that put her mind at ease.

Clarkes sex drive was indescribable and sometimes Lexa couldn’t keep up, but it was fun trying.

“Right there baby.” Clarke moaned feeling her fiancé’s tongue sucking and licking her without abandon and she loved it, “Fuck Lex that’s so good baby.”

Lexa smirked into the girl lightly sucking on her clit while her fingers went to work teasing her entrance. She knew Clarke was close, so she sped up a bit causing the woman to scream many things mostly Lexa or fuck or baby sometimes all three.

“You taste so good.” Lexa moaned licking up all the release until it was all clean, She made her way back up to the blonde capturing her lips giving her a taste of herself.

“Mhmm, that was amazing baby but as much as I love your long, amazing fingers I much prefer something else.” She smiled palming the girls not fully hard dick that was till confined in her sweatpants. “I miss having you in my mouth.” Clarke pouted, Lexa pretty much refused to let her give her head, she claimed it always got rough, but she missed it. Sucking Lexa’s dick has been one of her favorite activities since she was 17!

“I know baby, but you know how I feel about it.” Lexa sighed stroking the girl face,

“Just once please, just lay down and keep your hands to yourself.” She smiled, “I’ll do the rest.” She sat up on the bed pushing Lexa, so she was laying flat, finally getting rid of those god forsaken sweatpants revealing a very hard and red awaiting erection for Clarke to play with.

Her wetness increased just thinking about having her soon to be wife’s dick in her mouth. She wasted no time taking the head in her mouth hearing Lexa groan.

“Fuck baby I missed your mouth so much.” Lexa threw her head back in the pillow trying to not come just from that one second of contact, but Clarkes mouth was very powerful. Soon she was taking every inch slowly bobbing her head and cupping her balls making her gasp, “You want me to come in your mouth don’t you baby?”

“Yes commander.” She replied before returning to the tasks at hand, “Please come in my mouth, I need to taste you baby.”

That was it, a few more minutes and Lexa was coming hard in the blonde’s mouth who took every last drop as she always did for the last eight years.

“Thank you, commander.”

“Your welcome baby.” Lexa pulled the girl into her lap carefully kissing her roughly before pulling away, “How do you want me to fuck you today baby girl?”

“Just like this.” Clarke grabbed the still hard dick lining it up with her center as she straddled the girl, “Ah, fuck.”

“Are you ok?” Lexa asked feeling the girl harsh breathing on her neck,

“I’m fine baby you’re just so big.” Clarke moaned still trying to adjust before moving her hips slowly, with her pregnancy she loved sex, but she also learned she was a lot more sensitive. Every nerve spiked when Lexa was inside her and although it felt amazing it was also overwhelming so she had to take a minute sometimes. After a few more slow strokes she allowed Lexa to take the lead grabbing her hips stroking into her which felt phenomenal.

“God Clarke you feel so amazing baby.” Lexa kept her thrust steady and her eyes on the amazing chest bouncing in her face.

“Harder baby please.” Clarke knew Lexa was cautious, but she could handle more, “I promise I’ll tell you if it’s too much just please fuck me harder.”

Lexa picked up her pace but not too much, her strides were deep and hard, and she was hitting the spot that made Clarke come like crazy.

“Like that baby! Fuck!” Clarke moaned, feeling her walls tighten “Right there baby keep fucking me like that and I’m going to come!”

“Come for me princess.”

‘FUCK!” Never in her life had Clarke come like this, she didn’t know if it was because of her hormones or what but it felt A M A Z I N G and she never wanted it to end. Her legs were shaking hell her whole body was shaking but Lexa held her tight still stroking slowly inside of her. “You’re so fucking amazing baby.” She kissed the girl sloppily before resting her head in the crook of her neck.

Lexa continued to thrust still feeling Clarke shaking around her and the moans filled the air from both of them. She wouldn’t last much longer especially after feeling Clarke come around her like that.

“Fuck Lexa! Like that baby.” The blonde moaned loudly, feeling the woman’s dick twitch inside of her, “Come inside me baby, fill me up with all your come please baby!”

“Fuck.” Lexa groaned shooting endlessly into the blonde setting off another orgasm,

“Lex!” She said this every time she was with Lexa, but this had to be the best sex they’ve ever had, she has never orgasmed like this and she fucking loved it.

“I love you so much baby girl.” Lexa moaned feeling her walls shake around her still,

“I lov- fuck! Lexa!” she gasped feeling the girl slip out of her leaving her shaking in her arms, “I love you too, so fucking much.”

* * *

The next day Clarke woke up with a smile recounting the events from last night without getting herself worked up again. Lexa was still sleep-in bed but she heard little barking noises, so she got up and was instantly greeted with little feet kisses.

“Goodmorning Nova.” She smiled giving the dog a pet, “Are you hungry? Me too, come on.”

Clarke quickly did her morning routine and threw on a robe before heading downstairs. She opened the back door letting Nova into their fenced yard, it was pretty big with a good-sized pool and hot tub but also lots of grass. The pool was covered, and thankful Nova avoided it instead choosing to run through the grass happily. Getting a dog as something they planned to do but Clarke was happy to have someone else in the house with her, even if they made messes and ran around like crazy. Perfect training for a baby. Right?

She let Nova run around a little while longer before getting her inside and starting breakfast. She gave Nova her food then started to cook her and Lexa’s, her wife to be sucked at cooking so Clarke always tried to make her breakfast. Their favorite was pancakes Clarke’s with whip cream of course and Lexa’s with tons of syrup. It wasn’t the healthiest, but no one ever said they were health nuts.

After finishing the bacons and eggs she put on some coffee and that’s when she heard footsteps enter the kitchen.

“Goodmorning Nova!” the brunette cheered giving the puppy some love before moving towards Clarke, “Goodmorning baby.” She said giving her a quick kiss,

“Goodmorning beautiful.” Clarke smiled admiring her fiancé, she was always beautiful but, in the morning, she looked so adorable. Her long hair a mess her and her green eyes tired, “Have I mentioned how excited I am to have you as my wife? Because I’m so fucking excited.”

“Me too baby.” Lexa smiled admiring the girl, her short blonde hair a mess and the robe tied loosely over her bump, god she loved this woman. “Are you sure you want to wait for the baby to be born?”

“Yes!” Clarke said quickly, “I don’t want to be a whale in my wedding pictures and don’t you dare say I’m beautiful at any size! I want to be my normal size in sexy dress where everyone is so damn jealous by how good I look!”

“And they will be baby.”

“I know.” She smirked, “Anyways I also think it will be so cute to have our little baby at our wedding.” They agreed to wait until the baby was at least one to have the wedding, they didn’t want to stress themselves out more than they needed to and this seemed like the best way.

“He’ll be so cute in his suit.” Lexa smiled, “My dad is already sending me links to suits his size.”

“I know he sent me them too, I think our parents might steal our baby once he’s here.”

“You’re probably right.”

When their parents first found out about the baby, they were shocked, it wasn’t exactly planned but life is unpredictable, and they weren’t even sure if Lexa could have kids, well not after what happened at least, so they were excited. After the initial shock everyone was excited too, buying everything under the sun building baby rooms at their houses, needless to say this baby would be very loved.

“Here you go baby.” Clarke put her breakfast in front of the girl and her coffee as well with lots of sugar and tons of creamer, just the way she liked.

“Thank you, princess.”

Truthfully, Lexa didn’t want Clarke up and cooking while on bedrest, but she said it was her one activity in her day and she wanted to do it, so Lexa stopped complaining and let her. Plus, her pancakes were really good.

“Are you working today?” Clarke asks hoping it will be a no,

“No but I do need to run to O’s office and sign some papers and go over some stuff.” She answered seeing the girls pout, “It will only take a couple of hours max.”

“It can’t wait?”

“She has to send them off today, I’m sorry baby after that I’m all yours.” For the most part Lexa worked from home but with her popularity growing she was doing a lot more interviews and press stuff that took some time. She felt bad because Clarke couldn’t always join her but she tried to schedule everything as early as possible so she can get home quickly.

“Promise?”

“I promise baby girl, I don’t have any work next week, so it’ll be just me and you.”

Yay!” Clarke cheered; they were definitely locking themselves away for the week.

After breakfast Lexa took Nova for a walk while Clarke did some painting, she didn’t do that often because of her back pains but she felt good today. Once Lexa was back, she headed to Octavia’s office leaving her all alone, with the exception of Nova.

The first thirty minutes she laid on the couch watching whatever was on cable, when that got boring, she scrolled social media. Thanks to Lexa’s book she gained many followers most fangirling over Lexa because she was quote ‘so hot’ which she agreed. All of her fans were nice, and they treated her amazingly it was fun seeing all their comments.

When that got boring, she played with Nova but not longer after even the dog was over that. Lexa would be back in an hour or so and she was bored beyond belief. She wanted to call Anya, she would come over no questions and she loved spending time with her. But then she started to think how she loved spending time with both Anya and Raven but obviously that doesn’t happen anymore.

She missed them together and she knew they missed each other, if they would just talk all of this would be fixed.

“I know what I’m going to do today.” Clarke smirked, ignoring the confused look from Nova. She grabbed her phone and dialed the number she needed.

“Hey babe, so I need you to ignore any calls you get from Anya and Raven today.”

“Uh why?”

“Because I plan on faking an injury in order to get them over to the house so they can finally talk.”

“Clarke!” Lexa exclaimed, “No fair, you know how much I want them to reconcile!”

“Sorry babe but mama’s home alone bored and I’m in the mood to play.”

“Fine, I’m on my way back just let me know what happens.”

“Will do, and when you get back, I’d love a repeat of last night.” She smirked,

“I’ll make you a deal, you get Anya and Raven back together I will fuck you so good you’ll forget your name.”

“I love when you talk dirty to me baby, you are so on.”

“Perfect, I gotta go Octavia is giving me the look of death, love you.”

“Love you too baby.”

She smiled hanging up her phone to call Octavia as well,

“Call to torture me more?” Octavia asked as soon as she picked up the phone,

“No, I need you.”

“Wait, are we scheming?”

“You know me so well.”

Clarke explained what she needed before hanging up and setting her plan in motion. Someone needed to call the damn academy because she was about to give the best performance of her damn life.

* * *

You know Anya’s going to kill her right?” Octavia asked the brunette,

“She’s pregnant so that’s an advantage, at most she’ll just get a really brutal cussing out.” Lexa sighed; this wasn’t the best idea, but she wasn’t totally against it. “We should probably get there just in case though.”

“You’re right.” Octavia grabbed her stuff following the girl out the door.

* * *

“CLARKE!” Anya yelled running into the house looking for the blonde everywhere finding her upstairs in the baby room on the floor, “What the hell happened?”

“I was trying to hang something, and I climbed on the chair, but I lost my balance.” Clarke cried, she even got real tears to come out but that seemed like overkill, so she toned it down,

“Why didn’t you call me or wait for Lex to get home! Dammit Clarke you can’t just be climbing on shit!”

Right on cue Clarke heard the door bust open and frantic yelling before her favorite Latina ran into the room.

“What’s going on?” Raven yelled bending down to the girl, “O called me she said you called her crying something about you falling, she’s an hour out but I was closer so I said I would come. What happened?”

“She’s being stupid.” Anya answered not even looking at the girl,

“What she said.” Clarke smiled, reaching for Anya to help her up which she did, “I was trying to hang stuff in here for the baby, but I fell.”

“Why didn’t you just have Lexa do it?” Raven asked, “You could’ve seriously gotten hurt Clarke.”

“I know!” she yelled, “God I can do some things on my own.”

“Clearly.” Anya replied,

Any guilt for this plan left her body at her comments she knew she was just worried, but the bitchy snark could be toned down a bit.

“Well, I’m fine now I just couldn’t get up.” Clarke groaned stretching her back, no acting there a little stunt actually did cause her some pain, “I love you guys for coming.” She smiled making her way to the door, “I just hope you guys will love me back after this.” She quickly closed the door her on the other side and the key in the lock.

“What the fuck Clarke?” Anya yelled yanking on the doorknob, “Open it now!”

“Not until you two talk, lucky you this is the only room that locks from the outside.”

“Really Clarke!” Raven yelled, “I don’t have time for this shit!”

“You two are talking to the wrong person, I’ll be downstairs eating ice cream.”

“I will literally bust the windows out if I have to, unlock the door Clarke.” Anya yelled,

“You wouldn’t dare!” The blonde gasped,

“It’s a nice bay window too, I’d hate to destroy it.”

“You’re bluffing!” That was her reading window for the baby, it was big and perfect and had a view of the Hollywood hills.

“Try me!”

“I think I will, better get to talking.”

They could hear the blonde walk away leaving the to of them neither saying nor looking at each other. It was twenty minutes of empty silence before Raven finally spoke up.

“We can just say we talked, and she’ll open the door.” She said causing Anya to huff,

“God forbid you actually have to talk to me.” She was staring out the window trying to control her anger and her nerves, but it wasn’t helping,

“We have nothing to talk about.” The girl replied to which Anya laughed,

“Wow Rae I can really see how much our eight-fucking year relationship meant to you!”

“You don’t get to say that!” the girl yelled, “You fucked up not me!”

“I fucked up?” Anya asked finally facing the girl, she was mad hell she was pissed but Raven was beautiful, and she loved her, and she couldn’t do this, “I didn’t fucking do anything!”

“You keep saying that but we both know it’s not true.”

“No, it’s not true but you want it to be, you want it to be fucking true, so you’ll have a reason to push me away and I guess it fucking worked! After eight years of giving, you everything I could because you know I don’t do this shit! You know I have a hard time with emotions and instead of admitting you do too, you fucking pushed me away! You let your mom get in your head and you-.” Anya could feel the tears stinging her eyes and one look at Raven made them fall,

“Don’t!” Raven shouted at the mention of her mom, “Don’t.”

“you pushed me away.” Anya repeated, “I don’t know what happened or what she said to you but when you came back from Arkadia you were different. You were distant and I didn’t know what I did but you barley looked at me. Then that night you came to the club and you saw me talking to my fucking employee and accused me of something I’ve never ever even thought about doing to you!”

“I’m not doing this.” Raven mumbled avoiding the girls crying face,

“You broke my fucking heart Raven; I love you more than anything and I always tried to show you that and you broke me! You left me all for what?”

“Stop.” Raven was crying trying to control her tears, but nothing was working, she needed out of this damn house, “I can’t- I’m not doing this.”

“You know what, fuck you Raven!” Anya moved passed the girl banging on the door. “I swear to god Clarke I will kick down this door if you don’t open it!”

A minute later the was shuffling up the stairs before the door opened revealing Octavia. Anya didn’t even care, she pushed passed the girl making her way downstairs where Clarke and Lexa were standing.

Seeing Anya Clarke knew she fucked up, this was way deeper than she imagined, and she fucked up.

“Anh.” She tried but Anya ignored her walking passed them and leaving getting in her car and driving off, “I guess that means no sex.” She said trying to lighten the mood but failed miserably, “I know I fucked up.”

“Something serious must’ve happened between them.” Lexa said, she’s never seen Anya look that hurt and sad not in years not really since their mom died.

“Go to her, we both know Anya likes to act tough, but she needs you and I have a feeling someone else needs me.” Clarke sighed hearing the muffled cries from upstairs.

“I love you.”

“I love you more baby.” Clarke gave the girl a quick kiss before heading upstairs,

Raven was still in the room only collapsed and crying on the floor, Octavia holding her tightly. She did this, being an idiot and trying to be cupid but she made it worse. She’s never in their twenty years of friendship ever seen Raven like this.

“Rae, I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve never seen you liked this, what’s going on Raven?” Octavia asked causing the girl to cry harder,

“I fucked up.” She cried, “I fucked everything up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come! also i decided to let one of you name Clexa's first born!!! leave names in the comments i want unique cute names too! and when the baby is born i'll reveal!!


	3. I love you and you broke my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER DEALS WITH THINGS SUCH AS ALCOHOL ABUSE, DEATH AND DEPRESSION. THERE ARE NO GRUESOME DETAILS BUT WARNING STILL!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our first flashback
> 
> sorry for any mistakes i suck;(
> 
> two updates in a row because i owe you guys!

Lexa didn’t have to guess where Anya was heading, she already knew, so she got in her car and drove to Purgatory where she found the girl halfway through a bottle of whiskey.

“Don’t even start.” Anya said watching the girl sit across from her at the bar,

“Maybe I came to drink.” Lexa smiled seeing the girl roll her eyes, “Or watch you drink for the both of us it seems.”

“That I can do.” She raised the bottle before taking a huge drink not even wincing at the taste.

“It looks nice in here.” Lexa hadn’t been to the bar since Clarke got pregnant, she was so proud when Anya opened the doors on her first night. Gay clubs aren’t a shortage in LA but this one became everyone’s favorite quickly. “Is that a stripper pole?”

“What can I say, it gets pretty wild in here.” She smirked,

“Anya,-.”

“I don’t want to talk about it Lexa.”

“Fine then let’s talk about me, I wanted to ask you something.” Lexa said nervously, she didn’t want to ask like this but here they were.

“What?” The girl asked still drinking her bottle,

“As you know me, and Clarke decided to get married after the baby turns one, so we have a lot of time to plan.” Lexa explained, “And I’ve already asked Priya, Bell, Lincoln, and Murphy to be in my wedding party but I still need my best woman of course.”

Anya eyes went wide realizing what Lexa was saying,

“You want me to be your best woman?”

“You’re my best friend Anya, there’s nobody I would want by my side more than my big sister.” Lexa smiled, waiting for her to say something but instead got silence and a blank stare, “If you turn me down, I might cry.”

Anya said nothing, she just put the bottle walked from behind the bar and over to her sister. Lexa wasn’t sure what was about to happen but the next thing she knew she felt her sister’s arms wrap around her and muffed cries into her neck. She didn’t say anything she just held her and hugged her back for as long as she needed even though the smell of whiskey was making her gag.

“I want to.” Anya said finally, “Be your best woman, I want that.”

“Thank you.”

“God Lex I’m so fucked up!”

“You’re going to be ok; I’m going to be here like I promised I always would be. You don’t have to deal with this alone.”

Lexa felt her sister pulling away so she let her but hoped she wouldn’t run like she had many times in the last six months, but she didn’t. She stayed, black tears running down her face and bloodshot eyes and Lexa knew this wouldn’t be easy.

“This isn’t how things were supposed to be.” Anya sighed wiping her face,

“We can’t always control what happens Anh.”

“You would say that your life is perfect.”

“It’s not perfect.” Lexa replies, “No one’s life is perfect.”

“Your life is perfect.” Anya repeats, “You have a best-selling book, an amazing fiancé even though I’m pissed at her, you have a baby on the way a huge ass house in the Hollywood hills. Lexa your life is fucking perfect, you and Clarke are perfect and always have been.”

“That’s not true Anya, me and Clarke are happy, and I love my life but it’s not always perfect. We fight and argue but I love her more than life itself and we made a deal, no matter what we always talk it out if we fight. No one is allowed to leave the house we both have to stay and work it out no matter what.”

“Like you said Lexa, you always work it out.” Anya grabbed the whisky bottle taking another big gulp,

Lexa wanted to help, she wanted to give her advice, but she still had no clue what even happened between her and Raven. She wouldn’t talk about it and if Lexa asked, she would avoid her for days on end, but she can’t look at her sister like this anymore. It’s breaking her heart seeing her this way, drinking her problems away crying, knowing there is nothing she can do to make it better.

“Do you remember my senior year of college when you came to visit me?” Lexa asked seeing the girl head snap up, “Do you?”

“Of course, I do but- you don’t talk about this.” Anya said her eyes wide, for years she thought of this visit but never asked Lexa any questions, but she knew something horrible must’ve happened because she was a mess.

“I know but- I want to tell you what happened and then maybe you’ll understand.” Lexa sighed, she hated thinking about this time in her life and for years it was something her and Clarke never talked about it, ever.

* * *

**_December 15, 2025 Polis University_ **

Another day passed and Lexa thought maybe she would be ok but then as the day progressed and the sun began to set, and her bed was empty she would quickly realize she wasn’t.

Classes were dragging and finals were almost coming up which sucked because studying was the last thing on her mind. She would sit through every class like a zombie, not absorbing nay information then return to her empty apartment where she would lay and cry until sleep took her.

That was her routine, or it had been for the past month ever since… ever since. But that all ended the day she got a knock at her door, she wanted to ignore it but a huge part of it hoped it was the blonde, but she knew it wouldn’t be not after what happened and not after what she said.

When she opened the door, she was shocked to see her big sister at the door with a bag and a smile.

“What are you doing here?” Lexa asks, Anya walking passed her to set her bag down,

“Good to see you too, it’s only been two months since we’ve seen each other.” Anya replied looking around the apartment, there were clothes everywhere and take-out boxes scattered, “What the hell is going on in here?” she asks turning to her sister, “You look like hell, where is Clarke?”

“Not here.” Lexa mumbled before dragging herself back to her room, Anya following

“Lexa what’s going on, you look terrible your apartments a mess. Have you been drinking?” Anya yelled, looking through her room for any bottles

“No!” It was true no matter how bad she wanted to, she hadn’t drank a drop of alcohol,

“Then what the hell?” she shouted, “I’m calling Clarke since you don’t want to tell me anything.”

“Don’t!” she yelled grabbing the girl’s phone, her eyes on the verge of tears

“Lexa please talk to me.” Anya pleaded; it’s been years since she seen her like this not since they lived in Seattle.

Lexa stared at the girl trying to hold it together, trying not to cry but it wasn’t working, and she couldn’t help it. So, when the tears started spilling out of her eyes, she let them because she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She felt her sister’s arms around her, and she sighed into the comfort.

“What happened with Clarke?” she asked softly stroking her sister hair,

“We broke up.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about Anya please I just-.”

“Ok.”

So, Anya did the only thing she could, she held her and let her cry and cry until finally she fell asleep. But after a few minutes Lexa could feel the bed shift and see Anya leaving,

“Where are you going?” she asked sleepily,

“Just to see Raven, she doesn’t know I’m back so I’m going to surprise her, but I’ll be back just sleep.” Anya smiled before leaving and once again Lexa was in an empty bed with only her thoughts and when that happened all she could do was replay what happened a month ago.

_“Baby please talk to me!” Lexa begged following Clarke around their apartment, the blonde had been quiet and distant for the past week and she couldn’t take it anymore, “If I did something you need to tell me so I can fix it, please.”_

_“You didn’t do anything Lex.” Clarke sighed sitting on the bed, she knew she was worrying her girlfriend, but she didn’t know how to tell her what was going on._

_“But something’s wrong.” Lexa murmured getting on her knees in front of the girl watching her put her head in her hands, “Clarke.” A few moments later she heard the crying and her heart broke. “Baby please.”_

_“I’m Pregnant.” Clarke said finally uncovering her face only to see Lexa shell-shocked,_

_“What?”_

_“I took a test the other day while you were in class because I hadn’t been feeling well and it was positive.”_

_“Really?” Lexa asked staring at the big blue eyes in front of her, she was pregnant. They were having a baby, a baby that they weren’t sure Lexa could even have._

_“I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days, but I took four tests, and they were all positive.” Clarke had been nervous to share this news mostly because this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. They were still in college and still working out their future and she didn’t know how Lexa would react but seeing the growing smile on her face as she looked at the blonde’s stomach, she knew it was good. “You’re happy.”_

_“Of course, I am!” Lexa smiled, “The timing isn’t great but knowing I can have kids with you, knowing that I’m going to I mean I’m so fucking happy!”_

_Lexa was sure this was the best day of her life; she was starting a family with the love of her life and nothing could beat that._

_“You thought I would be upset?” Lexa asked seriously,_

_“No, I just, the timing and I was worried we still have another semester left before we graduate and it’s just a lot.” Clarke sighed,_

_“It is, but we’ll get through it together. We’re going to have a little baby, oh my god a little human is going to come out of you.” Lexa said wide eyed thinking about how painful that will be for Clarke,_

_“Yeah, lucky you.” Clarke smiled, “But you’ll be there holding my hand, so I’ll be fine.”_

_“I will.” Lexa nodded, putting her hand on the girl’s stomach, “Our babies in there!”_

_“I know Lex.” She laughed pulling the girl onto the bed straddling her,_

_“I love you so much Clarke.” Lexa said pulling her down for a kiss mumbling once more, “So much.”_

_“I love you too baby.”_

_“We have to celebrate, what do you want to do?” Lexa asked excitedly,_

_“Hmm, get ice cream!” Clarke exclaimed causing Lexa to laugh,_

_“Ice cream it is!” Lexa smiled kissing her once more before getting off the bed,_

_“With whip cream too!” Clarke adds,_

_“Duh!”_

_Lexa should know by now that nothing good truly last forever and she was reminded that a few nights later when she was awoken by a screaming Clarke. The blonde was panicking and there was blood and liquids covering her shirt and the bed._

_“Clarke, tell me what’s wrong.”_

_“Hurts, and blood Lexa-.” There was so much crying and tears and she couldn’t do anything but rush them to the nearest hospital. When they arrived, the doctors took her into a room and Lexa waited outside pacing and worrying. She didn’t call anyone or tell their friends she just waited and prayed everything was ok but when the doctor came out, she knew it wasn’t._

_Most of what he said was a blur, but she understood what happened and when she entered the room where Clarke was curled up in a ball crying, she tried to be what she needed. She tried to be strong even though every organ in her body felt like it was shutting down, she tried to because Clarke needed her but the pain it was too much. It was hard to contain and when Clarke cried into her chest every night for a week, she knew she was broken. Truly broken and she wouldn’t recover this time._

_Time went by and both of them were just surviving through their days neither caring much about anything. They avoided their friends and family so they wouldn’t have to answer any questions. Half of the time they avoided each other both feeling equally guilty that their baby was gone._

_Every time Lexa would look at Clarke, she would hear the doctor from three years ago telling her she might never have kids. She remembered that day and how she tried to push Clarke away to avoid this, to avoid this pain. She knew she should’ve let her go and be happy with someone who could give her everything. Kids, a big house an amazing wedding all of it because it’s what she deserved. She still deserves it and that’s why she knew she had to let her go._

_“We need to break up.”_

_It was late in the afternoon and Lexa had spent most of the day trying to talk herself out of this, but she knew it was right._

_“What?” Clarke looked at the girl fresh tears forming in her eyes, “Lexa what the fuck, why would you even say that to me?”_

_“Because we need to, we have to.” She said, tears streaming down her cheeks,_

_“No, what-why would you- “she stopped looking at the brunette, “I knew you blamed me!”_

_“No!”_

_“Yes, you do, you blame me and you’re leaving me- and I knew it.” She cried, her breathing getting harsh and her nails piercing her palms breaking the skin easily from the pressure. “I knew- I fucking knew-.”_

_“This isn’t your fault Clarke it’s mine, this is my fault!” she yelled, “This is my fault, and I should’ve- I told you I couldn’t, and I should’ve let you go so I wouldn’t have to put you through this and I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry! This is my fault.”_

_“Stop! I love you and it’s not your fault it’s not and you can’t leave me you can’t! I won’t let you I need you!”_

_“You deserve so much better than anything I can give you Clarke.” Lexa replied taking the girls face in her hands, “I want you to have everything you want, and I can’t give it to you.”_

_“Yes, you can-.”_

_“I can’t Clarke!” she shouted making the girl jump, “I can’t no matter how much I want to I can’t, and I need to let you go even though it’s killing me because I love you so much.”_

_“If you loved me you wouldn’t be doing this.”_

_“I’m doing this because I love you.” Lexa said, kissing her on the forehead before walking away._

_“That’s bullshit!” Clarke yelled following her, “I’m not leaving and you’re not doing this to me. You promised, promised this was forever.”_

_“I’m sorry Clarke.”_

* * *

**_PRESENT_ **

“I left after that and well you know the rest.” Lexa sighed, she hated reliving that month more than anything.

“Fuck Lexa, why didn’t you tell me?” Anya asked, she remembered that visit vividly she also remembered all the things she said to Clarke.

“We didn’t tell anyone, we still haven’t you’re the only one I’ve ever told.” Lexa said,

“God I was such a bitch to Clarke.” Anya groaned, “I said some shitty things.”

“It’s in the past Anya and I didn’t tell you that story because I wanted you to feel bad, I told you because even though we always work thing out now it wasn't always that way. I almost lost the best thing that's ever happened to me because i gave up. I know how much you love Raven and I know how much it hurt but you have to fight. You can’t give up; I know I don’t know what happened, but I know you both were practically made for each other, so you have to fight. It’s like you said all those years ago in your room when you and Raven were in a fight, she sees you for who you really are just like-.”

“Mom.” Anya said wiping her tears, Raven was her person and she new that from the moment they kissed. There will never be anyone else for her and they were broken, and she didn’t know what to do. “I don’t know how to fix this, she left me.”

“First you reach out, you ask to talk and put all your cards on the table. Let her know where you stand, that you want to fix things and when you do that the ball will be in her court.”

“Is that what you did with Clarke three years ago?” she asked, and Lexa sighed,

“It took a while for me to fix things with Clarke because I hurt her, and I had to fix it after a month of me being an idiot.”

“Well, I think I got you beat.” Anya huffed, “Six whole months.”

“Let’s end this streak now then, talk to her.”

“I’ll call her.” Anya got her phone out her pocket only for Lexa to snatch it away,

“Not when you’re a drunken mess.”

“How the tables have turned.” She grinned,

“At least I was a fun drunk.” Lexa shrugged,

“Yeah, I’m sure all of your cracked-out loser drunk friends thought so.”

“You’re such a bitch.”

“But you love me.”

“Yeah.” She smiled, “Come on you’re coming home with me.”

Lexa got Anya in the car and started the thirty-minute drive back to her house.

* * *

When they arrived, Lexa led Anya up to the guest room then went to find Clarke, who she found in the baby’s room. When they first found out they were having a baby it scared them both, but they stayed positive. Just because it happened once doesn’t mean it will again and even with Clarke’s complications it was going amazingly. Their little boy was healthy, and Clarke was healthy, and, in a month, their little boy will be in their arms.

Quietly she watched her wife to be fold some of the baby’s clothes and put them in the drawers. The room was quite big and filled with tons of stuff already thanks to their family.

“He’s not even here yet and he’s spoiled.” Lexa said getting Clarkes attention, “Who bought this?”

“Raven, she gave it to me when she was leaving.” Clarke sighed walking over to the woman and wrapping her hands around her waist.

“Did she talk to you and O?”

“No, all she said was that she fucked up, but Octavia drove her home so hopefully she will talk to her.”

“Hopefully.” Lexa sighed into the hug,

“What about Anya, how pissed at me is she?”

“She’s more sad than pissed.” Lexa replied, “She’s drunk in our guest room right now.”

“I’m going to talk to her.”

“Good luck.”

Clarke took a deep breath before walking down the hall to the room where the girl was. She knocked once hearing something in between a moan and a grunt so she entered.

Anya was sprayed out on the bed her shirt off and her shoes halfway off her feet.

“You’re a mess.” Clarke smiled going to take off the girls’ boots,

“I know.” She groaned,

Clarke went into one of the dressers where she stored some old shirts and gave the girl one, 

“Here drunkey.”

“Did you come here to insult me, kick me when I’m down?”

“Never.” Clarke climbed on the bed moving the girls head into her lap, “I came to beg for your forgiveness and take care of my drunk sister.”

“You can start the forgiveness tour by giving me a head message, my head is killing me.”

Fine.” Clarke laughed giving the girl a head message like she asked, her and Anya were close. They weren’t always close but into their adulthood they became like sisters and she loved having that relationship.

“I should apologize to you too.”

“What did you do?”

Anya sighed sitting up and facing the blonde who was confused but patiently waited for her to explain.

“Lexa told me.”

“Told you what?” Clarke asked trying to understand what was going on.

“About why you and she broke up three years ago, when I visited.”

Clarke froze at the mention of the topic, they didn’t talk about that ever not even with each other. Not because they hadn’t worked through it, they did but it wasn’t a good period in their lives let alone their relationship.

“Don’t be mad at her. “Anya added seeing Clarkes blank stare,

“I’m not I just- I’m surprised she told you is all.”

“Clarke the things I said to you-.”

“Anya it’s fine, I know you didn’t know, and you were just being a good sister.”

“It’s still inexcusable, I was horrible to you and I’m so sorry. Lexa doesn’t even know I talked to you that day because I told her I was going to see Raven and I should’ve because I was such a bitch.”

Clarke remembered that day clearly, it was the first day in a month she actually went outside for more than just class.

* * *

**_December 15, 2025 Polis University_ **

Class was over and Clarke wanted nothing more than to go back to Octavia’s apartment and cry herself to sleep like she had for a month, but she refused. Today she would spend at least an hour outside, enjoying the weather and getting fresh air. So, after class she found a table that was empty and sat with her pad and tried to draw. Every time she started it would be of Lexa and it reminded her that the girl still wouldn’t talk to her. A month and she still wouldn’t answer so she stopped calling, she told herself Lexa just needed space and they would work this out but the more time that passed the less she believed that.

The weather was nice and for once she found some comfort in her day, until she saw someone marching her way who didn’t look to happy.

“I didn’t know you were back.” Clarke said wondering why the girl looked so pissed at her,

“I don’t know what you did to my sister, but you need to fix it!”

“What?” what she did? “What did Lexa tell you?”

“Nothing! She won’t tell me anything, she’s cooped up in her trash of an apartment crying herself to sleep while you’re here enjoying the fucking weather!” she yelled,

“Anya-.”

“No don’t Anya me! I knew I was right about you from the very beginning, you want people to think you’re not the typical rich white stuck up princess because you were a waitress and you’re above it all the snobby bullshit but that’s exactly who you are! I wish I could go back in time and smack myself the day I told you I know you would never hurt my sister because clearly I’m a fucking idiot!”

Clarke couldn’t talk, she couldn’t move she just took everything Anya was saying and maybe she deserved it, maybe it was hurt fault everything that happened, happened.

“So, tell me Clarke, what did do did you cheat on her like Luna did to you? What is it?” she yelled, “You know what it doesn’t even matter just stay away from Lexa.”

With that the girl stormed off and Clarke sat there and sat there until it was dark, and she wondered around until she was at the nearest convenient store. She went inside and grabbed bottles of vodka and whiskey and anything as that caught her eye and would fit in her arms before she made her way to the counter.

She ignored the cashier’s smirk and comment about college girls being wild and handed him her id. The price was irrelevant she just swiped her card and left with her bags. Octavia’s apartment was a five-minute walk and when she got there all of her friends seemed to be there, but she ignored them going straight into the spare room where she locked the door.

Since the moment Anya walked up to her, she had been on auto pilot but now, now she was just numb. One bottle of alcohol down and she felt nothing, two bottles she felt like she wanted to die. She ignored the banging on the door and her phone ringing instead focusing on the bottle she still needed to finish and maybe if she was lucky, she would die.

She lost her baby and her girlfriend, and it was her fault she should’ve been better, done better but now it was all gone and she couldn’t fix it.

Three bottles down and she felt like she wanted to puke but she didn’t, she just turned some music on hoping it would drown out everything in her head.

Her head was another problem, her biggest problem the one she’s been dealing with her whole life because it would never shut up.

It was always reminding her what she was doing everything wrong and what she lost or how she was the problem.

Her head was the reason she ended up on that cliff four years ago. Her head was the problem.

“Clarke.”

Four bottles and the music was cut off and the door was opened and the person she loved most was behind her, but she wanted her to go away.

“Clarke.”

She heard the voice, but she ignored it because she couldn’t do this, she was imagining it she wasn’t really there. But then she felt the hand touch her and she knew she was, and her eyes were flooded, and her heart was aching more than ever.

Lexa looked around the room seeing all the empty bottles and the broken girl in front of her. The one loved and the one she broke.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered hearing the blonde cry but still wouldn’t facing her, “I’m sorry I turned you into this.”

“You left me.” Clarke muttered,

“You deserve so much more than me.” Lexa sighed, “You deserve everything.”

“You are everything!” she screamed finally turning around to face the girl, her hair was a mess, and her skin was pale and the bags under her eyes were almost frightening, but Clarke knew she looked no better. “You are everything to me Lexa! And you don’t get to decided what I deserve I do!”

“I fucked up.”

“You fucked up!” she laughed, “You more than fucked up you left me after we just- and you left me!”

“I thought I was doing what was right for you.” Lexa pleaded, “I thought if I let you go you could find someone who wouldn’t put you through this pain, who wouldn’t ruin your life.”

You didn’t ruin my life Lexa it wasn’t your fault! As much as we want to blame ourselves it wasn’t.” she sighed, grabbing the fifth bottle, “You didn’t ruin my life, I wasn’t even living until I met you.”

Lexa grabbed the bottle from her marching into the bathroom and dumping it down the sink.

“No more drinking.”

“Rich coming from you.” Clarke huffed immediately regretting it,

“I deserve that, but I’m not letting you turn into me so no more drinking.”

“Why do you care? You left me.”

“Because I love you Clarke!” she screamed, “I love you and I’m miserable without you and I hate myself every day for what I did and I’m sorry.” She cried, “I’m so sorry Octavia called me here, but she was worried and I’m worried and this is my fault and I’m sorry.”

“I want to hate you so fucking bad.” Clarke slid down the wall holding her head in her hands,

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” Lexa said sliding down beside her.

“I want to.” She repeated, “You broke my heart, and you broke our promise.”

“I know.” She said crying harder, “I’m sorry.”

“I love you and you broke my heart.” Clarke said looking over at the girl,

“I’m here and I want to fix it, I can’t keep going on like this and you can’t either and I have to fix this.” Lexa said, “I have to.”

* * *

_**Present** _

“You were bitchy, but our relationship now is so much better than it ever was then.” Clarke said,

“I still hate that I talked to you like that, it was wrong and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I know Anya.”

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Fix it, you and Lexa.”

“A lot of work.” She sighed, “We both started seeing therapist again separately and together. We had to deal with our loss then deal with our problems, our relationship wouldn’t work if we didn’t. So, we did, and It wasn’t instant, and we were broken up for a few months, but we fixed it and we’re stronger. We still fight and argue because that’s normal, but she work it out.”

“Do you think me, and Raven can work it out?” Anya asked hesitantly,

“I don’t think I’ve ever met two people more suited for each other than you and Raven.” Clarke said honestly, “I don’t know what happened, but I do know that things can only be worked out if both of you want that. You have to talk, and my method was very abrupt and wrong, but it got you in the same room and that was the first step.”

“I’ve asked to see her.” Anya admits, “So many times over the last six months but she ignores me. She left me Clarke and I don’t really even know why. Eight years and she left me with some shitty scapegoat excuse, and it hurts. I was going to…”

“I know.” Clarke sighed cradling the girl in her arms, she remember the day Anya told her she was going to propose. It was the happiest she had ever seen the girl and two weeks after they’ve ring shopped, she hears they broke up.

“What the fuck do I do now?”

“We’ll figure it out, I promise for now you need rest. Sleep off the alcohol and tomorrow we’ll have an American’s next top model marathon.” She smiled,

“Good, we need to finish season 7. Tyra always knows how to cheer me up.” She mumbled into Clarke’s shoulder,

“I might’ve finished season 7 the other day.” Clarke mumbled hoping the girl wouldn’t hear.

“You bitch!” Anya jumped up, “Without me?”

“I’m sorry I was home alone like always and I needed a pick me up!”

“Fine you get a pass because you’re on bedrest and miserable.” Anya sighed sinking back into the bed.

“How gracious of you.” Clarke laughed,

“I know, we’ll start season 8.”

“Tomorrow.” Clarke got off the bed throwing the fluffy comforter over the girl, “Goodnight.”

“Ehhhh.”

Clarke smiled turning the light off before leaving the room and going to hers where Lexa was waiting.

“How is she?” Lexa asked helping the woman take off her shoes,

“Sad, but I got her to sleep with the promise of a ANTM marathon tomorrow.”

“Her kryptonite.”

“Exactly.” The blonde smiled, “Her and Raven might as well be our kids, we’re putting them to bed using our hardships to teach them lessons.”

“Are you mad I told her.” Lexa stopped going rigid, Clarke grabbing her immediately,

“Absolutely not, I think it did help her put things into perspective, but I think Raven is the one we really need to get through too.”

“Don’t you think we should stay out of it?” Lexa asked getting a glare from the blonde,

“They’re being stupid, and they need us I will say no more scheming though we need to be straight forward. Let them know we’re here and help them the best we can.”

“That sounds good.”

“But if that doesn’t work, I’m not above scheming to get through to them, I was actually think-.” Lexa interrupted planting a kiss on the girls’ lips,

“You looked really amazing today in this dress.” Lexa said kissing her way down the blonde’s neck, “I’ve been wanting to get you out of it since this morning.”

“Are you trying to distract me?” Clarke moaned feeling Lexa hands softy grabbing her breasts,

“I don’t know, is it working?” Lexa smirked lifting the dress and throwing it on the floor,

“Duh.” Clarke mumbled before grabbing the girl kissing her,

“We have to be quiet; Anya is just down the hall.”

“I’ll try but once I’m _dickmatized_ crazy things tend to happen.” Clarke pulled down the girls pants and dropping to her knees,

“God.” Lexa moaned feeling the warmness wrap around her semi hard on,

“Shh commander, Anya just down the hall.” She smirked taking the girls full length in her mouth before bobbing her head,

“Fuck baby you’re going to be the death of me.” Lexa moaned trying to keep her voice down,

“At least it’ll be a good death.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this originally was so much darker but i rewrote it and made it this, when i first decided to do a part two of this story i planned for it to be Clexa in college but then i started writing them as adults and i loved it so i decided to do flashbacks. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to comment baby names for our Clexa baby! i need unique fun names the ones i've gotten so far have been amazing! if you want to name Clexa's baby comment and i might choose your name!!
> 
> Love you for reading


	4. Mothers and Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AUTHORS NOTE: SINCE WE WILL BE DEALING WITH FLASHBACKS 2028 IS THE PRESENT BECAUSE OF YOU TAKES PLACE IN 2020
> 
> ALSO TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE AND ABUSIVE DIALOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this has been Ranya heavy but i love them and their always a part of my stories hope you don't mind! Anyways hope you enjoy starting next week i'm going to aim for a chapter a week maybe more if i get inspired!
> 
> sorry for all mistakes i suck!

“Really?” Lexa groaned, for the past eight hours she’s had to deal with pregnancy hormones, her annoying sister, a needy puppy and a publicist who wouldn’t stop badgering her on her day off. “I’ve let you sit here, and watch America’s next stop model all day, the least you could do is not put your feet on my table.

“Why are you being such a bitch today?” Anya sassed slowly sliding her feet off the coffee table,

“I’m not, this is my day off and I’d like to spend it with my fiancé!” Lexa replied,

“She’s jealous.” Anya smirked looking over to Clarke who was laying down in the reclining Chair,

“So cute!” Clarke smiled, and Lexa rolled her eyes,

“I hate you both.” She mumbled walking into the kitchen then coming back, “I’m taking Nova for a walk you two enjoy your day.”

With that the brunette and the little puppy were out of the door leaving the two girls alone. Clarke made it her mission to make Anya forget about Raven for a bit and for the most part it worked. They watched to tv ate a bunch of takeout and unintentionally annoyed Lexa all in a span of a day, but now they needed to talk.

“So, this weekend we’re having everyone over for a cookout.” Clarke started getting the girls attention, “Our parents all of our friends, so I was thinking it would be a good opportunity for you and Raven to talk.”

“At a family cook out?” Anya asked, “That’s a worse idea than when you decided to lock us in a room together almost causing me to jump out a two-story window.”

“I said sorry and that was the past.”

“It was yesterday.” Anya pointed out, “Literally twenty-four hours ago.”

“Ok I get it I messed up, but this idea is a better one.”

“Have you ever just thought about minding your business?”

Clarke thought for a second, “Honestly no, not even once.”

“Don’t even know why I asked.” Anya said sitting up on the couch.

“Look I’m not saying hash everything out with her at the cookout, but it could be a good way for you to be casual. Ask her how she’s doing something I don’t know.”

“I’ll think about it.” She sighed standing from the couch, “I have to go open up the club.”

“It’s Thursday.”

“People love starting their weekends early.” She shrugged, “Don’t watch anymore episode without me.”

“I won’t.” she promised giving the girl a hug, “I’ll see you Saturday.”

“I’ll think about it.” She called from the walkway,

“I wasn’t asking your ass better be here!” Clarke yelled back,

“Yes, mom.” She replied before Clarke her the door close,

Clarke rolled her eyes before sitting up from her chair, turning the tv off. She decided she needed to do something for Lexa. Anya has had most of her attention today and her commander needed her fair share too.

So, after struggling to get out of the chair for twenty minutes she waddled into the kitchen putting all of Lexa’s favorite snacks on a tray she had laying around. Carefully she balanced while also trying to walk up the stairs, she could hear Lexa scolding her in her head but after forever she finally made it to the top.

She sat the tray down and went to the bathroom filling the tub with the girl’s favorite woody natural scents and tried to set up the rest quickly before the girl returned but she could only do so much with a huge belly blocking everything.

* * *

Lexa opened the door letting Nova run inside and straight to her water bowl, they took a pretty long walk but Nova was still a baby so she could go so far.

“Slow down pretty girl.” Lexa laughed seeing the dog attack the water, going to the fridge to grab her own water and that’s when she noticed how quiet it was.

“Beautiful fiancé and annoying sister, where are you?” She yelled, the living-room was empty and so was the backyard, so she went upstairs.

Immediately her nose was greeted with the fresh woodsy smells she loved and the faint sound of someone walking around.

“Clarke?”

“In here!” she yelled,

Lexa walked to the bedroom where she found the bed freshly made and all of her favorite snacks laid out and her favorite movie queued up on their tv.

“Baby?” she smiled looking for the blonde who she found in the bathroom, “What’s going on?”

“It’s your day off so I thought you could relax.” Clarke smiled giving the woman a quick kiss before taking off her jacket, “You take care of me 24/7 so tonight it’s my turn, first up a bath and you’ll tell me all about how annoying Octavia is and what’s new with work.”

“You’ll get in with me?” Lexa asked removing the last of her clothes before slipping into the hot water,

“Our tub isn’t that big and I’m too fat.”

“Clarke!” Lexa scolded,

“I meant too pregnant.” She smiled, Lexa hated when she called herself fat or a whale or disgusting.

“I’m sure you can fit.” Lexa said as she made room for the girl,

“No, it’s fine I just want to sit here and rub your shoulders and help you relax.” Clarke pulled up her pregnancy chair as she called it, it was fully cushioned and comfortable and the only chair that didn’t hurt her back.

“When did Anya leave?”

“Not too long ago, she had to open the club.” Clarke answered as she slipped her hands in the water messaging the neck and back lightly, “Now tell me about work, I haven’t seen you writing much lately.”

“Octavia has me doing a lot of press stuff right now.”

“Anything interesting?”

“Maybe, Polis wants me to hold a seminar there as an alumni and apparently one of their success stories. I would just be talking to the students about writing and my book maybe sign a few and meet some people.” Lexa shrugged,

“Babe that sounds amazing, you miss teaching this could be a good opportunity.”

Lexa’s degree was in teaching and after graduating she taught seniors at a local high school for about two years before Clarke got pregnant and her book blew up. Clarke knew teaching was something Lexa enjoyed, and she felt guilty when the girl quit because she knew a huge factor was her being on bedrest.

“I think I will do it; it won’t be until school starts in September, so I have some time to decide.” September was also a hard month for Lexa, it was the month her mom died and usually when she tried to stay the busiest. It’s not that she hasn’t learned to deal with her grief she has, but it was still hard, and she still missed her mom now more than ever. She published a book and has a fiancé and a baby on the way that will be here in September, but her mom will never be here for any of it. She thought she accepted that but over the years she learned she never truly will. 

“She would be so proud of you baby.” Clarke whispered almost reading her mind, she knew what September meant and had been her rock for the past eight they’ve spent together. “I know she would love your book especially.”

“Out of all the amazing things in my life I think she would love you most.” Lexa smiled kissing the blonde’s hands,

“Well, I wasn’t going to say anything.” She joked,

“So humble princess.” Lexa laughed standing up from the water and grabbing her towel,

“What are doing?” Clarke asked while also admiring her woman’s amazing body, the abs, the butt everything! “It’s only been like fifteen minutes Lexa!”

“I’m relaxed.” She shrugged stepping out of the tub, “And I really want to get you out of that chair.”

“So romantic.” She rolled her eyes, “The chair is fine, why can’t you ever let me take care of you?”

“You’re almost eight months pregnant, I’m supposed to take care of you while you carry our baby.” She smiled, kissing the pout the blonde was giving her, “You’re doing the most work here plus you did take care of me and if I don’t recall we still have a movie to watch and snacks to eat.”

“Fine, Pretty Woman awaits.”

* * *

Both woman settled into the bed after throwing on some comfy night clothes and started the movie. Pretty Woman was Lexa’s favorite, so they watched it often well Lexa watched while Clarke usually ended up watching Lexa. It was always adorable how she would smile and laugh at every scene like she hadn’t seen it a million times before. She blamed Julia Roberts and her attractiveness and amazing acting skills of course.

“So, I was thinking.” Lexa said taking her eyes off the screen, “We should buy a bigger house.”

“Really?” Clarke asked,

“We bought this one before you were pregnant and it’s only three bedrooms, with the baby in one and us in the other as well as the guest room it’s pretty full. I know you want, and art studio and I want an office to write so I think it would be good to expand. Not right away of course and definitely after the baby, what do you think?”

“I like that idea.” She smiled; house hunting was something she enjoyed. All the tours and the options but with a baby that will probably be more stressful. “How big are you thinking?”

“Five bedrooms? I don’t know, we need enough space for our future kids too.” Lexa said,

“Haven’t even given birth and you’re trying to knock me up already.” Clarke grinned,

“In a couple of years, maybe we’ll get a girl next.” Lexa hoped she could even get Clarke pregnant again, there was always a chance she couldn’t.

“A girl.” Clarke nodded, “With a big brother to protect her.”

“We’ll worry about house hunting after the baby, but I’ve been thinking about it, I was also thinking we get a wedding planner.” Lexa knew how Clarke felt about the matter and she didn’t doubt her fiancés skills but planning a wedding is stressful especially with a one-year-old.

“Why can’t you let me do it.” Clarke sighed,

“I’m not saying you can’t but having help is an option Clarke.”

“Mom and Rory will help.” She said,

“Professional help.”

“I don’t need it.”

“When we have a one-year-old and a million things on our plate you’ll realize you do.” Lexa pointed out, “Just think about it, we have a year.”

“Fine.” Clarke grumbled ignoring Lexa’s smug look,

“Love you.” She cooed,

“I know.” Clarke said trying not to smile, damn this woman,

* * *

**_ Saturday  _ **

Today was the day of the cookout and everything was going good so far, everyone confirmed they were coming, Clarke even inviting Ardyn to join. He wouldn’t be starting until Monday, but she thought it would be nice to hangout with him in a casual setting. Octavia also invited her new client; she didn’t know much about him just that he was an up-and-coming singer and that was about it.

Raven also confirmed she would be here which was great, Clarke didn’t get to see her much these days and she wanted her and Anya to talk. Lexa and Anya told her to mind her business but as far as she was concerned, she was being a good sister. Raven was family but so was Anya and she needed them back together so they could all live happily ever after. Was that too much to ask?”

“Will you go sit down please.” Lexa begged for the hundredth time, Clarke had been up cooking most of the day even when Lexa complained that she should be resting,

“I’m almost done.” Clarke said putting the finishing touches on her vanilla cake, she made all the side dishes and desserts since Gustus and Jake would be grilling. She wanted to help, and Lexa’s nagging wasn’t going to stop her. “All I do is rest Lexa one day won’t hurt.”

Lexa huffed preparing her reply, but the door opening distracted her,

“Hi Nova, where’s your annoying owners?” the mysterious person asked,

“In here.” Lexa yelled, “And we’re not annoying!”

“You know I have to enter a place with a snarky comment.” Anya said walking into the kitchen causing both girls to stop and stare. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“Your hair.” Lexa said staring at the girl,

“Oh yeah.” She shrugged grabbing a grape from the bowl of fruits. “Did it yesterday, you like?”

“Like?” Clarke asked, “I fucking love!”

“I knew you would.” She smirked, “You hate it?”

“No, I like it I just haven’t seen you with your natural hair color in…. well since you were like 14?” Lexa said still looking at the girl’s new hair, it was shorter barley touching her shoulders and dark brown, but the underside was colored ash blonde. Very Narcissa Malfoy. “Wait is that a nose ring?”

“Yeah, got that yesterday too.” She smiled tapping the small black hoop,

“A lot of change for one day.” Lexa pointed out,

“Sometimes you just have to do things for the hell of its Lexa, I mean I’ve had blonde hair for twelve years I needed a change. The nose ring well my hair place is on the same street as a tattoo shop, so I was like fuck it.”

“Well, I love it.” Clarke smiled going back to her cake,

“Why am I the first person here?” Anya asked looking at the empty back yard,

“We told everyone 1pm.”

“Clarke told me 12:30.” She looked at the blonde who just shrugged,

“I wanted to ask you about Raven, if you were going to talk to her.”

“God do you ever stop scheming?” Anya groaned,

“I’m not scheming.” She defended getting looks from both girls, “I’m not!”

“It’s time to let them figure things out Clarke.” Lexa said,

“They never will at this rates both of them are acting like idiots!”

“I’m standing right here!” Anya intervened, “And I’ve actually decided what I’m going to do about Raven.”

“Really?” Both girls asked,

“Yes, I can’t keep living my life the way I am. Without Raven I’ve been…. Very lost but I can’t do that anymore. I have a business and a life to get back to so I’m going to ask Raven to talk and if she chooses not to see me then I have to try and get over her even though I’m not really sure that’s possible.”

Clarke nodded understanding what she was saying, although she wanted to rush the couple back together with some big gesture or amazing scheme that’s just not how life works. They needed to this on their own and Clarke had to let them.

“I’m proud of you for taking the initiative.” Clarke said,

With that the doorbell rang and Lexa jumped up top answer it revealing their parents.

“Lexa, so good to see you!” Abby smiled greeting the girl with a big hug before running off to find her daughter,

Lexa hugged the rest letting them in as well as Ardyn then Bellamy and Echo who arrived after them with their two-year-old daughter Willa who was adorable. Her first year in Arkadia she didn’t know Bellamy too well but over the years they grew very close especially when their parents started dating a few years back. They didn’t see them much but when they did, she always spent most of the time with the adorable little girl.

“Welcome.” She hugged the couple before bending down to the little girls, “Hi Willa!” the little girl laughed hiding behind Echo’s legs.

“Say hi Aunty Lexa!” Bellamy told the little girl, “She’s been talking a lot lately and you know she loves her Lexa.”

It’s true, at first, she’s always shy but throughout the day she always clings to Lexa and she loves it.

“Do you want to swim?” Lexa asked the little girl who nodded excitedly lifting her shirt to show her swimsuit. “Give me an hour and we’ll swim.”

Next to arrive was Ontari who she never seen anymore but was always on the phone with Clarke, constantly checking up on her.

Then came Octavia, Lincoln and her newest Client Jax who Lexa met once in passing but he seemed nice.

“Hey guys.”

“Lex, I’ve been waiting for you to come down to the gym.” Lincoln said giving the girl a hug, he continued the family business opening a Grounders Gym here in LA.

“Blame your woman she’s got me on a tight leash.” She teased,

“If you call booking you jobs a tight leash then yes.” Octavia spoke up walking past the girl, “This is Jax my favorite client by the way in case you haven’t met.”

“Ouch.” Lincoln laughed walking into the house,

“Nice to see you again Jax.”

“You too Lexa and thank you for having me I told Octavia I didn’t have to come.” he said, a small smile on his face.

“It’s no problem really, Clarkes been cooking all morning, so we’ll need about twenty more guest to get rid of all this food!” Lexa replied seeing Raven’s car pull in, “Everyone should be in the back yard if you want to join it’s just straight ahead.”

“Cool.” He smiled before walking in,

Lexa watched as Raven exited her car with a bottle of wine and it reminded her of how old they were, they did things like bring bottles of wine to dinner parties, hell they went to dinner parties. Far cry from their seventeen-year-old selves sleeping on the beach and going to keggers in mansions.

“Am I late?” Raven asked looking at all the cars in the driveway and along the street,

“No, but you are the last to arrive.”

“An entrance great.” She sighed before walking in Lexa stopping her,

“Wait.” She said grabbing the girl’s arms, “I wanted to ask if you were ok?”

Raven looked surprised, like she was expecting something else out of the girl’s mouth,

“I’m fine.” She smiled but Lexa saw passed it, but she nodded and let the girl walk in following close behind.

The backyard was buzzing with people, everyone crowding Clarke asking about the baby which she knew she would need to save her soon. Raven was drinking and talking to Ardyn who seemed to be getting on with everyone and Anya was fully entranced in a conversation with Jax. They were laughing and drinking, all in all having a good time which Raven seemed to notice.

Lexa decided to stay out of it instead heading to the pool with Willa like she promised, even bringing Nova in for a little while.

* * *

Clarke would say the cookout was a success, everyone was having a good time some more than others thanks to the alcohol, but she overlooked it. They were all adults, and it didn’t bother Lexa, but it did bother Clarke because a mimosa sounded so good and she couldn’t have one. Another thing that was bothering her was the overcrowding, and constant questions about her and the baby and she was getting annoyed. Lexa was supposed to save her like they discussed but she was busy with Willa in the pool.

She didn’t mind much since the scene was so cute, the little girl was clinging to Lexa for dear life, but Lexa got her to calm down quickly and use her floaties. Lexa was amazing with kids, anytime she saw her with them it felt like a glimpse in her future. Watching as she teaches their son how to swim and ride a bike and drive and now, she wanted this baby our of her more than usual.

“Clarke!” Ontari said getting her attention, “You said you’d show me your garden when I came get your ass up and lead the way.”

Clarke stared at her for a moment trying to remember that conversation before realizing she was breaking her out of pregnancy hell.

“Oh yeah.” She cooed, “Totally forgot, sorry ladies we’ll talk later.” She said to her mom and Aurora who had been talking her head off for the past forty-five minutes.

“Sure hun.” Abby smiled helping her up,

Ontari took her hand walking her over to the flowers Lexa planted so they could sell this lie.

“You’re a saint.” Clarke said finally when they were at a safe distance, “They were driving me crazy.”

“I could tell.” She chuckled, “I know it’s been seven months, but I still can’t believe your pregnant.”

“Me either sometimes, but come September he’ll be here,” she smiled resting her hands on her stomach, “Where is Wells?”

“Still on his trip but he gets back tomorrow.” She blushed,

“I’m sure you’re happy about that.”

“I am, but what I’m more interested in is these two.” She pointed to Raven who was drinking like nobody’s business while staring at Anya who seemed to be having a good conversation with Jax.

“No one knows.” Clarke said honestly, “But I better take that bottle and any other bottles away from her.”

Clarke walked over to the brunette bracing herself for what was to come, they hadn’t talked since she locked her and Anya in a room together and she was about to kill her vibe big time.

“Trying to corrupt my assistant?” Clarke said to the brunette as she sat beside the pair, Ontari joining her.

“I’ve actually been very good, thank you very much.” Raven replied, taking another drink of her wine.

“Is that true Ardyn?” Clarke asked,

“Raven’s been very lovely.” He smiled,

“See.”

“So why are you staring daggers into Anya’s back?” Clarke asked getting a glare from the girl

“I’m not.” She replied filling her glass,

“You are.” Clarke said taking the bottle.

“Pregnant people can’t drink!”

“But we can cut people off who can.” The blonde smiled,

“If you weren’t with child, I’d fight you for it.” Raven muttered finishing off her glass.

“I’m sure the conversation is friendly.”

“What do I care if it isn’t.” Raven shrugged,

“Do you really want to do this today?” Clarke asked,

“Maybe.”

“Ok, a bitch fest is the last thing any of us need.” Ontari interrupted,

“If you’re talking about that guy over there.” Ardyn pointed to where Jax and Anya were sitting, “He’s definitely gay.”

“Do you know him?” Raven asks trying not to sound too interested,

“No but as a fellow friend of Dorothy, I can tell.” He smirked,

“He could be bi.” Ontari points out,

“Gay, Bi straight it doesn’t matter, Anya’s single so she can talk to whoever she wants.” Raven added glancing over at the pair who were laughing about something, “But if she was going to flirt, she could have the decency not to do it in front of me. Bitch move.”

“Inside now.” Clarke said standing up glaring at the girl who didn’t budge, “Now Raven!” When she still didn’t move Clarke amped up the volume, “Or we can do this here, I’ve never had a problem making a scene.”

“God, pregnancy has made you so dramatic.” Raven sighed standing up from her chair and walking inside,

Clarke followed giving Lexa a quick look to let her know everything was ok, she also noticed Anya looking at her, but she ignored it. When she went inside, she found Raven standing in the kitchen pouring another glass, this time champagne.

“I need a drink for this conversation.”

“I think you’ve had enough.”

“Everyone else is drinking, what the hell do you want with me?” she spat,

“I want you to talk to me Raven.” She replied, “I want to know what’s going on?”

“Clarke my breakup isn’t your problem to fix, I think locking us in a room was bad enough.”

“I’m not talking about the breakup.” Clarke said honestly, being bombarded by Abby and Aurora was annoying but she did learn a few things specifically relating to Raven. “I’m talking about your mom.”

Raven and her mom have never been an easy subject, but this was different, worse even, Clarke just didn’t know why. Her mom would only say so much just that she should talk to Raven because she wouldn’t talk to her or Jake. And no matter what, in the many years of their friendship Clarke was the person she would always tell everything until now.

“I’m not talking about this.” Raven mumbled taking her glass and going to the living-room.

“When did this happen?” Clarke asks following her, “When did we stop talking to each other because this is not how it’s supposed to be.”

“Leave me alone Clarke.”

“No, never I’m never leaving you alone.” Clarke blocked the door as the brunette tried to leave, she was drunk off her ass and was not driving and they were not done with this conversation,

“Move, Clarke I don’t want to talk to you!”

“You know the difference between me and Anya?” she asked while pushing the girl away from the door, “She’ll let you push her away and she’ll let you get away with your bullshit because she loves you. She probably loves you more than herself and she doesn’t want to upset you by pushing to figure out what’s wrong, but I will. I will push and push because I know you. I know what you do, and I know how your mind works because I’m the fucking same. I know when things get bad you internalize and want to shut everyone out, but you can’t shut me out. You can’t and you shouldn’t shut her out because I can see how much you miss her even if you won’t say it so here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to tell me what’s wrong and we’re going to work this out together because that’s what we do, and it will never be any other way.”

Clarke was prepared for a fight; she was prepared for things to get ugly and Raven to say things she didn’t mean just to get her to go away because that’s how it’s always been. And Clarke understood, she understood that Raven has basically been alone her whole life, that even though she had Costia and her Aunt inside she was still alone. Her mom still hated her, and her life would never be like her other friends who had parents who loved them and showed up to their graduations and took homecoming pictures with them at the pier. It would never be that way and she had to accept that and meeting a cute little blonde girl the first day of kindergarten made accepting it a little easier. Because even though Clarke had two loving parents and an amazing life, she still understood her and always helped her through her problems and gave her the amazing family she has today.

So, standing in front of her friend many years later on the verge of tears she did what she hadn’t allowed herself to do in six months, she broke down.

Clarke immediately enveloped the girl in the arms holding her and rocking her and eventually convincing her to come upstairs. She didn’t know what was wrong with Raven, but this wasn’t something she’s seen from her before, ever.

* * *

After an hour in the pool Willa was wore out but so was Lexa so the pair decided to take a break. Everyone seemed to be having a good time except for a drunk Raven who stormed off in the house with Clarke following. She didn’t what that was about, but she figured the pair would work it out.

“Need any help?” Lexa asked joining her dad on the grill, over the years of being away for school she got used to not seeing her dad everyday but there were still times when she missed him a lot. There was always calling and facetime but living two hours away limited their face-to-face interactions.

“Sure kid.” He smiled handing her a tray to hold, “You hold I cook?”

“I think that would be best for anyone who actually wants to eat today.” She laughed,

“Still can’t cook I see; you might want to work on that with a baby on the way.”

“Clarke tried to teach me, but she said it was hopeless.” She smiled, “To be fair I only almost burned the house down two times but there’s a reason!”

“Yes, there is and it’s that your just not good at cooking.” Gustus laughed, causing Lexa to roll her eyes, “Besides being a horrible cook, how are you?”

“Good, everything’s great.” She replied, “How are you, how are you and Aurora?”

“We’re good.” He nodded, after Lexa and Octavia graduated high school their parents decided to actually try and seriously date. They had been on many date beforehand but Gustus needed to take it slow. At the time it had only been three years since he lost his wife and moving on was hard, but Aurora was patient and was happy to move at his pace which he appreciated.

“You know you can talk about her to me.” Lexa said, “I love Aurora and I just want you to be happy, mom would too.”

“I know.” He smiled, “What about my other daughter, she won’t answer my calls. Does she talk to you much?”

“Hardly, her and Clarke are bff’s though, so I usually get all my information from her but in the last few days we’ve talked a lot. I think she’s better; I think she want to be better so that makes a difference.”

“I’ve asked her to get lunch tomorrow so I’m hoping she’ll talk to me.”

“Good luck.” Lexa said looking over to the girl,

* * *

“Six months ago, I got a call from my mom.” Raven said, they were upstairs in Clarke’s bedroom and she finally got the girl to stop crying. “The first call I’ve gotten from her in years since I moved in with you junior year of high school. I was shocked when I saw her name and I knew I should’ve ignored it, but I didn’t. My curiosity got the best of me, so I picked it up, hearing her voice gave me chills but I listened to what she had to say and when it was over, I was surprised.”

“What did she want?” Clarke asked,

“To see me, she said that she was sick, and she wanted me to come to Arkadia to talk.” She said sighing, “In my head I knew it was all bullshit, that in the end it would be like anything else with her but a part of me wanted to believe different. A part of me wanted to believe she was going to apologize, that this was some deathbed confession of how she wished she would’ve been a better mom, but I was so wrong. When my car turned into Alpha parkway, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and when I pulled up to that house, I felt like a part of me was slowly dying. Just seeing that house reminded me of every horrible thing she’s ever said to me and I wanted to run, I should’ve but I went inside.”

“I didn’t know if I truly believed she was sick or not, honestly you never know with her but when I got there, she looked terrible. There was an oxygen machine and needles the full works and my first thought wasn’t sadness it just nothingness. And when her nurse told me it was cancer, and she didn’t have much time left there wasn’t a part of me that felt sad for her, but I still wanted to hear what she had to say so I sat.”

* * *

**_ ARKADIA SIX MONTHS AGO _ **

“I’m here so talk.” Raven said looking at the frail woman, her cheeks were hallow and her normally perfectly styled hair was thin and patchy. She was nothing like the woman she’s known her whole life.

“You haven’t seen me in almost eight years and that’s how you speak to me?” the woman replied, choking down a cough

“It’s more respectful than you’ve ever spoken to me.”

“Holding grudges won’t get you very far you stupid girl.”

“What do you want Evelyn?” Raven asked ignoring her insult,

“Evelyn, really?” the woman scoffed, “That’s how you address your mother?”

“I have a mother but she’s not in this room.”

“What you mean the Griffins?” she laughed, “You think they love you? You think they took you in out of the kindness of their own heart? You’re nothing more than a charity case to them.”

“I’m not going to ask again, why did you call me here?” she knew this was a bad idea, she knew but she still came. After years of let downs and neglect why would it be any different now.

“You’re just as pathetic as I remember, eight years and nothings changed you’re still clinging to any hope for someone to love you. Abby Griffin doesn’t love you none of them do. You’re disgusting and a waste and you deserve nothing! The day you were born you ruined my life. You took my family from me and you almost took my money from me! You’re just like your no-good father and if I had any sense, I should’ve left you with him and ran! I called you here to give you a second chance but seeing you reminded me just how much your face makes me sick. And before I die, I want you to know just how much I despise you, getting pregnant was the worst mistake of my life and I hope you know that. I hope you know how worthless you are, it’s impossible to love something like you and everyone will realize it. Starting with that girlfriend of yours, she’ll realize who you are Raven and when she does, she’ll leave because your not worth it!”

Raven sat and took every word her ‘mother’ was throwing at her; this was nothing new in fact this was all she heard her whole life. Since the day she was born she was treated like nothing but a burden and even though she never did anything wrong, everything wrong was always her fault. If a man broke up with Evelyn it was because of Raven, if Evelyn’s parents refused to talk to her it was because of Raven and if anyone showed the slightest bit of concern for Raven it was because the girl was ‘begging’ for it according to Evelyn. She could never do anything right when it came to her mom and realizing the woman would never love her was a hard pill to swallow but one day she did, and she tried her best to avoid the woman, but it proved impossible.

Raven looked at the woman and she could still see her lips moving but she refused to listen anymore and for once she didn’t need to. She wasn’t a teenage who needed to walk on eggshells in her mother’s house, she was a grown woman with her own house and an amazing job and for once she could stand up for herself.

“I don’t have to do this.” Raven said interrupting the woman who was on a rant, “I don’t have to sit here and listen to a miserable woman blame me for everything wrong in her life. Everything wrong is because of you, your parents don’t talk to you and that’s your fault, your boyfriends leave you because your intolerable and impossible to be around. You think having me ruined your life well then maybe you should’ve kept your legs closed instead allowing any man who showed you a sliver of attention between them. As far as I’m concerned, we have nothing to talk about, you’re not my mom and you never were. You’re just the woman I had the misfortune to be birthed by. Seeing you like this, sick and dying is exactly what people like you deserve. If there is anyone in this house hell this fucking town that isn’t loved, it’s you. No one cares about you and no one will even when your gone. So, while you’re sitting in this house in pain and dying, I hope it hurts and I hope you realize that if you were even the slightest bit of a decent person you wouldn’t have to die alone.”

“You don’t get to talk to me like that.” Evelyn seethed, moving her hand back preparing to smack the girl but Raven caught her wrist with little effort.

“And you never get to do that to me again.” Raven said letting go of the woman’s wrist and getting up to leave.

“You don’t walk away from me Raven!” she yelled, but Raven ignored it as she walked to the driveway and got into her car.

She drove and drove until she finally let her unshed tears stream down her face, it shouldn’t hurt. She heard this her whole life and after eight years of trying to forget it and move on it shouldn’t hurt, but it did. If your own mom can’t love you how can it be possible others can? Is it possible? Do other people love her or was Evelyn, right?

* * *

**_ PRESENT _ **

“When I got back home her words were just swimming in my head and I couldn’t get them out.” Raven explained, “Anya kept asking my what was wrong, but I told her it was fine. I didn’t want to talk about it, but the more time passed the more I realized I should because I was starting to believe Evelyn. The more her words played in my head the more I started to think they were true, and I couldn’t let myself go down the rabbit hole, so I decided to talk to Anya. It was a Friday night, and she was at the club, so I went down there. I should’ve waited until she got home but I couldn’t because I would’ve talked myself out talking to her, so I went. The club wasn’t open yet, so they were still setting up and went I went inside I saw Anya talking and laughing with one of the girls that worked there. This girl was hot, I mean Victoria secret model hot and when I saw them talking, I was jealous. The girl was touching her arm and clearly flirting with her but Anya being Anya she was completely oblivious. The more I sat and watched them the more I thought about how Evelyn said Anya could never love me and how I can’t be loved, and I don’t what happened something just snapped and the next thing I knew I was blowing up on Anya. She tried to talk to me but any rationality I had was gone and all I knew was I needed to push her out. I needed her to go because I deserve to be alone and she- she deserves better than me. So, I accused her of flirting and basically cheating with her employee which was not true at all, but I needed a reason and honestly, I convinced myself that was true. Because if Anya was in the wrong, what I was doing was right, but it wasn’t. It was so wrong, and she didn’t deserve it, and now I don’t even think it’s possible to fix it because I hurt her, and I hate that I did. I let Evelyn in my head and ruined the best thing that’s happened to me and she’s downstairs with new hair and a piercing and she’s moving on without me and it my fault!” Raven cried,

Clarke wanted to reassure her and tell her she could fix it but that was up to Anya to decide. She was glad however that Raven finally told her what was going on. Evelyn was like no one she’s ever met; she was cruel and evil for no reason and growing up she hated seeing how Raven was treated by her. She remembered how the girl would show up at school with bruises and no one would do anything about it. Arkadia itself is a small town and most of its residents were wealthy but Evelyn was born into one of the wealthiest families in town and everyone was afraid of her. Her parents left town years before, but the Reyes name held power, power people were afraid of but not the Griffins. Abby and Jake tried to get Raven out of the woman’s custody for years, but it proved impossible even with the signs of abuse. But they didn’t give up on Raven, they offered her something no one else had and that was love. She was apart of their family and they always tried to make sure she knew that, and Clarke always tried to be there for her and knowing she wasn’t for the last sic months didn’t sit right with her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Clarke asked, “I know it’s not your responsibility to tell me all of your business but I’m always here for you Raven. I never want you to deal with anything alone and for the last six months you have.”

“I wanted to come to you, I knew if there was one person who would tell me to get my shit together it was you and that was one of the reasons, I didn’t come to you.” Raven sighed, “The other was just simply because you already have a lot going on. You had just found out you were pregnant, and you and Lexa were building your life and I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You never bother me Raven, please just next time come to me or if you don’t want to talk to me talk to mom and dad just please don’t keep everything inside.”

“I’m trying not to anymore.” She murmured,

“If you’re trying that’s a good start.”

“I don’t think I can go back down there.” Raven groaned into the pillow,

“I’m not letting you drive so you’re stuck with me tonight.”

“Can we cuddle at least?”

“Of course.” Clarke smiled,

* * *

Everyone was eating and Lexa wondered off to find Clarke, she had been up for most of the day and needed to rest. Plus, she didn’t get to spend much time with her today which was a bummer, but she got her all the time their family and friends didn’t, so she understood she had to share.

When she walked into the house, she found Clarke in the kitchen cleaning up which didn’t surprise her.

“We had a deal; you cook I clean.” Lexa said wrapping her hands around the woman, circling her bump.

“I know but when I walked in here, I couldn’t help myself it was driving me crazy.”

“You need to sit; you’ve been up a lot today.”

“I will, I just need to take some food up to Raven.” Clarke said not noticing someone else had joined them.

“I can take it to her.” Anya volunteered,

Clarke didn’t say anything she just nodded handing the woman the plate she made for Raven.

“She’s in the guest room.” She added, “You might want to take some water.”

“Ok.” Anya nodded grabbing a few bottles before heading upstairs,

Clarke wanted to follow but this time for once she figured she better mind her own business.

“Now commander, escort me to the seat of your choice.” Clarke smiled taking the woman’s arm as they joined the others outside.

Both woman missed this, they missed being around their family all the time and having Sunday brunch at the griffin’s house. They just missed being local, but they also loved living in LA and agreed they didn’t want to live in Arkadia. Not because they didn’t like the town but because they wanted to make something of their own. They wanted to be somewhere, where the whole town didn’t know who they were. Or where everyone shopped at the same grocery store and hangout on the same beach, they didn’t want a small-town life and that’s why LA was perfect. Obviously, the anonymity wasn’t a part of that since Lexa was a famous author, but LA is a big place and they adored it.

* * *

It had been about ten minutes since Anya told Clarke she would take Raven’s food up for her and she hadn’t even step foot through the door. A part of her regrated volunteering while the other part just wanted a second alone with the girl. She didn’t even know if Raven would want to see her, but she was here and if anything, she could just drop the food off and leave.

So, after a few more minutes of self-pep talks and deep breathing she opened the door and walked in. Raven was laying down with her eyes closed so Anya assumed she was sleep. She sat the food down on the nightstand before sitting on the bed beside the sleeping girl. She missed this, she missed the girls annoying snoring and obsessive need for decorative pillows on the bed. She missed waking up to coffee and breakfast because she couldn’t cook, and Raven always made sure they had breakfast together. She missed it all, she missed her girlfriend.

“I miss your face.” Anya whispered stroking the girl’s hair lightly trying her hardest not to cry and when the sleeping woman started to stir, she pushed all her emotions down as far as they can go.

“Anya?” Raven rubbed her eyes wondering if this was some sort of dream but once they were clear and the girl was still there, she knew it wasn’t.

“I brought you food.” Anya said not really knowing what else to say,

“Thank you.” She replied looking over at the plate before turning back to the woman,

“Welcome.” She smiled, their eyes locking for a moment before Anya looked away, “Are you ok?”

“I… don’t know.” She answered honestly, “Are you?”

“I’m trying to be.” Anya murmured, “I know you’ve made it clear you don’t want to see me, but I’d really like to talk. We can get lunch or something I don’t really care as long as we talk. And if you don’t want that then I understand, I won’t ask again, and I’ll leave you alone.”

Anya didn’t have any expectations when she walked into this room, but utter silence and blanks stares wasn’t it. She assumed maybe Raven would turn her down and maybe the avoiding eye contact and not speaking was her way of rejecting her. She told herself that she would move on if this was the case, that if Raven didn’t want to talk, she would let her go. So, when there was still no reply a few minutes later she got off the bed and walked away even when her heart wanted her to stay, she knew she couldn’t.

“Wait.” Raven said getting out of the bed, she only had her shirt and panties on, but she didn’t care. Anya was giving her a chance to fix this and she wasn’t letting it go to waste. “I want that, I want to talk. I’ll meet you anywhere I don’t care I just, I want to talk.”

A shell-shocked Anya stood her hand still on the doorknob digesting the words she just heard. She wanted to talk, Raven wanted to talk to her and whether that was good or mad it was more than she’s had for the last six months so she was happy.

“Ok.”

* * *

It was getting late and everyone was starting to leave when Jake came up to Clarke who had been forced to lay in the recliner chair by Lexa. She didn’t complain too much because her back had started to hurt but also didn’t want to miss out on time with everyone so they moved everything inside so they could sit with her.

“Hey kid.” Jake smiled joining her as the other prepared to leave, “We’re heading out too I just wanted to check on you.”

“I’m good dad.” She smiled, “Great I just need this baby out so I can stand up for more than an hour without wanting to die.”

“September will come sooner than you think.”

“I hope,” she sighed, “Did you know that Evelyn was sick?”

“I did.” He sighed, “Costia’s parents told me about a month ago, they don’t think she’s going to make it through the month.”

“She called and asked to see Raven and she went, she had nothing nice to say of course. I hope her death is painful.”

“I know she’s a terrible person Clarke, but we can’t say things like that, the only thing we can do is support Raven. She’s all that matters not Evelyn.”

“You’re right.” She nodded, “I still hate her though.”

“Many do.” Jake nodded,

* * *

Once everyone was gone and Raven was tucked away in the guest room Lexa helped Clarke upstairs and put her in bed. Her back pains were horrible, she definitely overworked herself today and Lexa wouldn’t let her forget it.

“Why don’t you ever listen to me?” Lexa pressed, she understood it was hard for Clarke being stuck in the house but that was for a reason and she needed to be careful. “You don’t have to do a million things in a day Clarke, you can’t you need to rest so your back pains don’t get this bad. Did you not hear what the doctor said?”

“I did Lexa!” she replied, the last thing she needed was to be reprimanded,

“Then why don’t you listen?”

“I do! I sit in here 24/7 everyday like I have been for the past three months! I barley do anything, and I sit in here all day some days by myself! I can’t draw I can’t see my patients or even go to my damn studio so sorry excuse me if sometimes I want to actually be up and enjoying something even if it’s as small as cooking or cleaning.”

“I get it Clarke and I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I want you to be safe, I don’t want anything bad to happen and I don’t want to see you in pain like this.” Lexa sighed slumping on the bed beside the girl. “I just want you to be safe.”

“I will.” Clarke wanted to say she didn’t get it, that even if she understood she didn’t get it because she wasn’t the one on bedrest. She wasn’t the one who didn’t get to work, or barley see her friends. She wasn’t the one who was stuck inside constantly with back cramps and nausea, she wasn’t one pregnant. So, even if she could understand, she didn’t get it. That being said Lexa never let her go through it alone, she was there to rub her stomach when it was cramping or hold her hair when she was throwing up. Even though all of this was hard without Lexa it would be harder so instead of furthering the argument she conceded. Lexa had her and the baby’s wellbeing in mind and that’s all that matters.

“I know you’re tired of hearing me bitch but I’m scared Clarke.” The brunette admits, “I’m scared that something will happen, and I just want to take all the precautions to prevent that.”

“I know baby, a part of me is scared too but our baby is going to be ok and I’m going to be ok.” She smiled, “And in less than two months he’ll be in our arms hopefully with all your goddess like features.”

“Oh please.” Lexa laughed, “He’ll have amazing blonde hair and mesmerizing blue eyes just like his mom.”

“Either way he’ll be perfect.” 

“He will be perfect.” Lexa agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how long this story will be but it will consist of time jumps and flashbacks so be prepared! love you for reading and don't forget to let me know what you think!!!!


	5. All I Want For Christmas Is For You To Say Yes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my "Christmas" chapter lol hope you enjoy 
> 
> sorry for all mistakes :) i suck

_**AUGUST 2028** _

It was officially one month until the birth of Lexa and Clarke’s baby boy and both of them were ready but mostly Clarke. The last month had been the worst she’s had her whole pregnancy. There were days she could barley leave the bed and some days where she didn’t at all.

Thankfully, she had Lexa who was home with her as much as possible and Ardyn who turned out to be the best assistant anyone could ask for. If Lexa wasn’t around, he would be there in minutes to do whatever needed done and Clarke couldn’t have been happier. He hired a manager for her studio and made sure everything was running well and didn’t complain about her ice cream runs no matter how frequent. All in all, he is a gem.

“When I became your assistant, this is not at all what I imagined.”

“You’ve been amazing this month and it’s the least I could do.” Clarke replied, currently both of them were in her bedroom getting amazing pedicures and foot massages. She found an online service that does home calls, so she thought why not. Her feet were swollen, and she hadn’t painted her toenails in months and for once in the past few months she wanted to do something solely for herself.

“You’re the best boss I’ve ever had.” Ardyn complimented while enjoying his foot rub,

“That can’t be true.” Anya said walking into the room, surprising everyone.

“Well, look who it is.” Clarke looked; she hadn’t seen Anya since the cookout a month ago. Sure, they still talked but she’s been too busy to come around like most people in Clarke’s life lately, “I see you finally fit me into your schedule.”

“Bitter much?” the girl smirked plopping down in the huge bed, “Pedicures really?”

“I’m eight months pregnant on bedrest with debilitating back pains and insanely swollen feet, I think a pedicure is the least I deserve!” Clarke replied, “Why are you here?”

“I came to see you obviously.” Anya pointed out, “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, well that’s not my fault, I can’t exactly join everyone for lunch or go shopping at the mall.” Clarke scoffed, ok maybe she was a little bitter, but bedrest wasn’t exactly the vacation most would think. “If anyone hasn’t seen me in a while it’s because they chose not to.”

Anya could see the blonde was actually upset which she was slightly prepared for since Lexa told her who bad things had gotten with her pains. And to make matters worst no one had really come to visit her which made her feel worst because she couldn’t leave the house much.

In Anya’s defense she had been busy most days with the club and renovations not to mention her and Raven trying to fix their relationship. Even though they had their talk and Anya understood she was still hurt, and they still had a lot to comb through. But today was her day off and she thought she would spend it with Clarke and try to cheer her up.

“I’ve been busy but I’m here now.” Anya offered but Clarke was barley paying attention,

“Well today I’m busy so you’ll have to come back another time.”

“Busy getting a pedicure?”

“Yes, and after me and Ardyn have some things to discuss about the studio and other things, so it was good to see you but as I said not a good time.” Clarke knew she was being unreasonable, but she didn’t care. Lately her friends sucked, and she wanted to make it known to them that they did.

“Really Clarke?”

“Yes, now leave.”

“I’ll be downstairs waiting for you not to be busy then.” Anya huffed standing up from the bed and walking out of the room,

“You’ll be waiting forever.” Clarke called, rolling her eyes at the whole thing,

“What’s going on at the studio?” Ardyn asks,

“Nothing, but they just can’t come around here and expect me to be free for them.” Clarke replied, “Not fucking happening, what do you say to a movie after this. We can order from the Thai place we love.”

“Have I mentioned you’re the best boss I’ve ever had?” Ardyn grinned,

* * *

For the last month Lexa had been taking off time from doing press work to stay home with Clarke. With her pregnancy nearing an end her pains were getting worst and she wanted to be there for her. Truthfully, she hated seeing her in such horrible pain especially since there wasn’t much, she could do but reassure her and massage her back which helped sometimes. It didn’t help that she was getting restless being on bedrest which Lexa understood completely.

Since meeting Clarke, she has always been a very vigorous person whether that is doing fight training or drawing, the blonde could always be caught doing something but now she can’t. Some days they go on short walks with Nova or she’ll sketch for a while, but Lexa knows it’s not enough for her. It hasn’t helped that she’s had little to no visitors. Their parents lived two hours away and still worked full time and their friends were busy with their own lives which they understood but it still sucked mostly for Clarke.

The first week or two into the last month the blonde made efforts to call and text her friends but after a while she started to feel like it was one sided. Clarke felt neglected and Lexa understood why but she tried to reassure her they were just busy. If anything, Lexa did feel their friends could make a better effort and she told them that and they said they would so she was hoping that meant visitors which would cheer the blonde up.

When she walked in the house after taking Nova to the vet, she was surprised but happy to see that Anya was on her couch. She hadn’t been around much, and a visitor would definitely raise the blonde’s spirits, or so she thought.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.” Lexa smiled sitting next to her sister,

“Thought I’d come see Clarke, but she asked me to leave.”

“Oh.” Lexa mumbled, “If I knew you were coming, I would’ve warned you about her mood.”

“She’s really upset then?” Anya asked sort of already knowing the answer,

“Bedrest hasn’t been easy for her.” Lexa sighed, “Her pains are getting worse and she’s already stir crazy so when no one calls or comes to visit she takes that as no one caring which I get. I mean in the last month the only person who has come to see her is Octavia, I know you guys are busy, but she sees when everyone meets for lunch or gets together and that’s fine but when you do that and then don’t come and see her or barley call for a month then she starts feeling bad."

“You’re making me feel shitty.” Anya mumbled,

“Good.” Lexa teased before getting up off the couch and going to the kitchen for food,

“I did come to apologize but she’s getting a pedicure and claiming to be busy.” Anya said following her,

“Then you’ll just have to wait it out or leave and come back a different day.” Lexa shrugged,

“That’s what she expects me to do!” Anya pointed out, “You can keep me entertained until she’s ready.”

“Yay for me.”

* * *

“This movie is pretty great. “Ardyn exclaimed,

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen Gentleman Prefer Blondes, it’s a classic.”

The pedicurist left not too long ago, and Clarke decided to put on her favorite feel-good movies from high school. They were still good movies but over the years they were replaced with other things but when Ardyn said he had never seen it she had to put it on.

“Love Marilyn Monroe to pieces but I’m slacking in the movie department.”

“We’ll have a marathon one day.” Clarke assured, even if her friends sucked, she had a great assistant to keep her company,

“Food delivery.” Lexa chimed walking into the room with a large bag of what is their presumably Thai food,

“Finally.” Clarke cheered attempting to sit up, “When did you get back?”

“Not too long ago.” Lexa answered sitting on the bed giving the blonde a kiss,

“How’s Nova?” she asked digging into the bag of food,

“Great, she needed another shot but she’s healthy.”

“Good, here I got you something.”

“Did you get Anya something?” Lexa asked taking the food,

“She’s still here?” Clarke asked, “I told her to leave.”

“She mentioned.”

“Snitch.” Clarke mumbled,

“Ardyn can I talk to my crazy fiancé for a second?” Lexa asks not taking her eyes off the blonde,

“Of course, I should probably get going anyways.” The man replied, “I’m going to go by studio for your mail tomorrow before I come over, do you need me to bring anything?”

“No but thank you Ardyn.” She smiled,

“No, thank you, Clarke, seriously best boss ever.” He called walking out the door leaving the couple,

“Thanks for running off my only company.” Clarke said once the boy was gone,

“Anya’s downstairs and she came to see you.”

“She should’ve called first clearly I’m busy.” She said pointing to her food and the movie that still played in the background,

“Clarke.”

“I’m not up for any company today.” She whispered, playing with her noodles with her fork, “I can feel my back starting to hurt and I just want to eat and lay down, preferably with you.”

Lexa knew that wasn’t entirely the truth, but she wasn’t going to push, if this is what she wanted she would oblige. So quickly she went downstairs and got rid of a very reluctant Anya before feeding Nova for the night and returning to the waiting woman.

Silently they ate their food as the movie played, Lexa could see Clarkes phone lighting up and her ignoring it most likely being Anya or someone else.

“It could be important.” Lexa said keeping her eyes on the screen,

“My calls could be important too, but they don’t seem to mind.” Clarke chided, “I mean I could be going into fucking labor and who knows if they would even show up.”

“Clarke you know they would.” The brunette sighed,

“Being on bedrest has taught me that I don’t know anything.” She whispered, “Not about my shitty friends, at least Octavia cares about me.”

“They all care about you Clarke.”

“Really, I can’t tell.”

“Let’s talk about something else.” Lexa suggested that conversation was only leading one way. “Like the baby shower, O and Your mom say it’s coming together amazingly.”

“Maybe they should just cancel.” Clarke says a hint of sadness in her voice

“Why I thought you were excited for it?”

“I was but this month has been so hard, and my friends are the worst, I mean I can barley leave the bed Lex.” She said not noticing the tears streaming down her face, “I know I’ve been unbearable, but I couldn’t do this without you and I just feel so hopeless every day I mean you deserve more than this. More than a girlfriend who yells at you about whip cream and can’t change her own clothes by herself.”

“You’re not my girlfriend, you’re my Fiancé and we said we wouldn’t do that.” Lexa pointed out, “No saying we don’t deserve each other, I love you Clarke. You’re going to be my wife and the mother of my kids; I want to take care of you and as your partner I’m more than happy to do it no matter how much you yell at me. You’re the one carrying our baby the least I can do is take care of you while you do it.”

“I can’t even do that right.” She cried, “I mean look at me, he’s not even here yet and I’m failing. My body is made for this and I’m failing.”

“Don’t say that Clarke!” the brunette scolded, “You’re not failing baby, -.”

“Yes I am.” She sobbed,

“No, you’re not! Like the doctors says everyone carries differently and you’re doing an amazing job and when our little boy gets here, I’ll make sure he knows it.” She smiled rocking the crying girl in her arms, “One more month, I know you can get through that because in the end when you see our little boy all of it will be worth it.”

“I know but it’s so hard.”

“I know baby.” She whispered leaning down and kissing the blonde’s forehead, “Tell me what I can do right now to try and make it better.”

“Hold me.” Clarke mumbled feeling tight arms already secure around her,

“Always princess.”

* * *

After a few days of lounging in bed and watching movies Clarke was feeling better, her back was laying off and her mood had improved tremendously. She was still annoyed with her friends, but she was happy living in her bubble with Lexa and Nova and that was enough. After Anya’s unexpected visit her other friends had made it a point to call her which was annoying. Clearly, they heard of her complaining and only then did they decide to blow her phone up. Mostly she had Lexa answer, she didn’t want to be petty, but she also didn’t want to stress herself out about it anymore so instead she decided to disconnect.

For the next month her only concerns were her baby, herself, her fiancé and their adorable puppy. On the days she could get out of bed she spent a lot of time playing with Nova. At first when Lexa got her she was nervous about the whole thing but having Nova here has helped her so much. She was needy and always wanted to cuddle and she was just sickeningly cute.

“Abby called again about the baby shower.” Lexa said joining the woman and Nova in their backyard, “It’s supposed to be this weekend, but she said you haven’t given her an answer.”

“I haven’t.” Clarke confirmed, sipping her lemonade

“Can I ask why, are you not feeling up to it?”

“I feel fine, honestly Lex I mostly just don’t want to see our friends.” She admitted, “I know I’ve been dramatic about the situation, but they did hurt me, I never expected them to come see me everyday but a visit once a month even would be nice. It brought a lot stress which wasn’t good, I don’t need negative energy. I need peace and love not neglectfulness and toxicity.”

“I understand but they have tried to fix it maybe the baby shower will give them the opportunity.”

“At this point I’m over it I don’t need apologies and if I have a baby shower that’s all I will hear all day.” Clarke said, “On the other hand I know how hard my mom’s been working so tell her yes but warn everyone any annoying bad vibe behavior and they will be escorted out.”

“I will.” Lexa smiled, today she got Zen Clarke let’s just hope that lasts into the weekend,

* * *

_**BABY SHOWER** _

Today was the day of the baby shower and since Clarke couldn’t really leave the house her mom brought the party to her. She didn’t know much of what they had planned, and she wanted to be surprised so as they set up, she remained upstairs luckily, with company.

“I love this!” Clarke praised as she stared at herself in the mirror, the baby shower was brunch formal and she had absolutely nothing her current size. But Ardyn fashion expert ran out with the promise to bring back something amazing and boy did he deliver.

“You look hot.” He smirked admiring the girl, he’s been wanting to style Clarke since they met so when the opportunity arose, he took it.

“I do, don’t I.” the dress was a deep red made of the softest silk material that was not only comfortable but hugged her body perfectly. Her bump was on full display but so was her other curves and for the first time in eight months she truly felt sexy. “Lexa loves me in red, so she’ll live for this.”

“I know you and Lexa are high school sweethearts, but you still haven’t told me how she popped the question.”

Clarke grinned immediately thinking about the day the love of her life proposed to her in truly the most unexpecting way.

“Well, my fiancé is very sneaky and creative.” Clarke smiled, “I had absolutely no clue until it was happening. It was actually on Christmas last year, we in Arkadia for the holidays as usual because that’s where our parents still lived. Usually, my mom and Aurora who is Octavia mom will cook Christmas dinner, but everyone had been so busy, and my dad decided to just have dinner at the ark.”

* * *

**_ CHRISTMAS 2027 _ **

Christmas in Arkadia was always the same, stores and local businesses decorated to the nines, fake snow on every surface you can think of and music blaring from every speaker. And despite it being the time of year most associated with cold weather and snow they had sunny skies and eighty-degree weather.

Christmas was always Clarkes favorite holiday so when it came to gifts, she always went all out. Her parents were easy, for Jake she would always get some junk electronic for him to fix up and he always loved it Abby on the other hand always got a charm. Years ago, she had gotten the woman a bracelet so not every year she buys a new charm, it was getting full though so this year she also bought a new bracelet. Her friends always got something catered to their liking and Lexa well she got the best gift of all. The morning would always start with a tradition she started their first Christmas together. She would dress up in a sexy Santa outfit and doing her own rendition of the mean girls dance to jingle bells. Then obviously that leads to some very sexy rated R moments that both parties enjoy very much. And then they joint the family for all the festivities and open gift except one, they always saved their most special gift to open at night when their alone. It was their way and for the last seven and a half years they’ve enjoyed every moment of it.

This year was no different except now they were meeting at the ark for dinner instead of Clarkes childhood home. Lexa was driving as Clarke sang along to the Christmas music loudly as she often did when they rode in the car together. Lexa loved her voice so she had no objections although she was getting tired of the Christmas music and couldn’t wait for that to end.

“Baby all I want for Christmas is youuuuu!” Clarke sang pointing at the woman in the driver’s seat, “I think they wrote this song specifically for me to sing to you babe!”

“Smooth princess.” The brunette smiled as she pulled into the parking spot, her palms were sweating, and her nerves were through the roof not that the blonde noticed.

They got out of the car and walked towards the entrance, the blonde still humming to the music, but Lexa was freaking out. She had this planned pretty much all year and now it was here and real and she was scared shitless. Clarke was the love of her life and they’ve already know they want to be together forever but doing this makes it real. Doing this solidifies that promise of forever and all she needed was a yes.

“Clarke.” Lexa stopped walking in the middle of the nearly empty parking lot grabbing the blonde’s hand who had a small smile,

“Lex?” she asked looking at the brunette feeling how clammy her hands were and under further inspection how uneasy she looked, “Are you feeling ok?”

“I’m fine I just, walking in the parking lot made me think of something.” She smiled,

“Oh yeah, what?”

“It was here almost eight years ago I realized I was in love with you.” Lexa admitted, “We had our first fight, I got mad at you for not telling me about a stupid Halloween party.”

“I remember.” Clarke chuckled,

“And I thought you were avoiding me, so I showed up here while you were at work to talk and you broke down here in this parking lot.” Lexa said pulling her closer, “I remember my heart breaking at the sight of your tears and I wanted nothing more than to some how absorb all your pain, but I couldn’t. So, I listened, and I was so thankful that you decided to share your struggles with me about your depression even though I know how hard it was for you. I vowed from that moment mostly to myself that I would always be there for you and I hope for the past seven years I have.”

“Of course, you have.” Clarke interrupted, “Even though seven years ago I didn’t know if you would be but I’m so happy you were and have been.”  
“And I always will be.” Lexa smiled, “You also said that you weren’t easy to love and those five words were the catalyst that made me realize that loving you was the easiest thing that I think I’ve ever done. Even though we were young and only dating for a short time I just knew I loved you and I’ve loved you more everyday since.”

“I love you too baby and I love this but what’s going on is everything ok?” Clarke asked questionably, her and Lexa were vocal on their feelings, but this was a full-blown heart pour,

“Everything is amazing.” Lexa answered digging in her pocket, “And the reason I stopped us here is because one of your presents is here.”

“Here?” Clarke asked looking around confused,

“Yes.” She smirked pulling out a cloth from the pocket, “You gotta put this on though.”

“Ooh, we’ll have to use this later.” Clarke smirked allowing the cloth to be put over her eyes,

“Stop it I’m trying to be romantic.” Lexa laughed, tying the fabric, “Don’t move.”

“Yes commander.” She smirked; everything was quiet she heard Lexa walking, but she had absolutely no clue what was going on or what this gift could even be. The blind fold blocked everything, but she could tell something was lit up and that only confused her more.

“You can take it off now.” Lexa said from behind,

Clarke took off the blind fold and was instantly greeted with bright lights, it took a second for her eyes to adjust but when they did her heart stopped completely.

In front of her was the billboard she’s looked out for years now decorated with huge neon lights reading ‘ _Clarke Griffin Will You Marry Me?_ ’. Tears filled her eyes immediately and when she heard movement behind her she was welcomed with an also teary-eyed Lexa on one knee holding a beautiful pear shape ring with an emerald gracing the center and diamonds circling it.

“The thought of living my life without you is unbearable, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me Clarke Griffin and- god I said I wouldn’t cry.” Lexa laughed wiping her tears, “I promised you forever so will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

“Yes! A hundred times yes!” Clarke said jumping into the girl’s arms barley giving her anytime to get off her knee. Her heart was racing, and her tears made everything blurry, but her lips found Lexa’s and holy fuck she was engaged. “I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

There was no telling how long the pair stood there in each other’s arms kissing and hugging but finally they got themselves together enough to go inside where everyone was waiting. The restaurant was quiet since it was closed but Clarke could hear their families idle chat that stopped as soon as the pair entered the room. Clarke looked to Lexa wondering if they knew and she nodded smiling, so Clarke held up her hand before screaming-

“I said yes!”

Everyone went wild everyone wanted to see the ring and hug them and congratulate them of course. The only people who knew of this before today was Abby, Jake, and Gustus and she allowed them to tell the others before they arrived. Like a gentle woman she asked Jake for his permission which he easily granted, and Abby helped her with the ring. Gustus came in towards the end because Lexa wanted his advice. She wanted to know what he thought and to her surprise he was supportive. She knew he loved Clarke, but she didn’t know how he would feel about them getting married so young but even if he didn’t approve, she would’ve done it anyways.

Now she was engaged to the love of her life and it was the most perfect way to end the year.

* * *

_**Present** _

“Easily the best night of my life.” Lexa smiled from the doorway, she had listened to the story with a huge grin also remembering the day

“A few weeks later I was pregnant so you can guess what night that happened.” She smirked, leaning into her fiancé’s touch

“You guys are truly the best couple I know.” Ardyn gushed, watching the pair interact, “And so damn adorable.”

“We so are.” Clarke smiled, “What do you think?” she asked Lexa motioning to her dress,

“You look beautiful as always baby.” Lexa admired, “You know how much I love red on you.”

“See?” Clarke smirked,

“I’ll give you two a moment, maybe Abby needs some help.” Ardyn smiled leaving the couple,

“You look amazing too.” Clarke said taking in the sight of her Fiancé, she was wearing khaki shorts and a crisp white dress shirt, and her hair was down like Clarke loved,

“I wasn’t really sure what brunch formal meant.”

“This is perfect.” The blonde assured, “Is everyone here?”

“Nearly, Anya and Raven arrived not too long ago.”

“Together?”

“Yep.” She smiled,

“If I cared I’d be happy.”

“Oh stop.”

“I’m joking.” Clarke smiled, but was she? “You know that night you told me the moment you realized you loved me, but I didn’t get to tell you the moment I realized I was in love with you.”

“I’m all ears princess.”

“It was a few days after my breakdown, we had went to the party the night before and you invited me over.” Clarke explained, “Gus was away, and Anya was somewhere with Raven, so we had the house to ourselves. You took me upstairs to your room where you had my favorite foods and movies laid out and I remember you said you wanted to give me a day where I at least felt ok. Since I met you, I had moments where I felt my heart triple in size but you doing that, I don’t know it just made me realize just how in deep I was and that it didn’t matter how long we knew each other I was very much in love with you.”

“Our first time.” Lexa smiled remembering the night, “I remember.”

“I’m so glad I found you.” Clarke mumbled fixing the collar of the girl’s shirt,

“Me too.”

* * *

Downstairs everything was ready, food was setup decorations were hung and the guests were arriving. Abby had planned everything down to the last detail all that was left was for the expecting couple to join.

“Do you think she’ll talk to us?” Raven asked Anya, she knew Clarke was upset about the lack of communication, but it wasn’t purposefully. She had a big project and life was hectic, but she loved Clarke to death she would never make her feel that way knowingly,

“I don’t know.” Anya replied sipping her drink, “Lexa said she wasn’t mad anymore, so I guess we’ll see.”

“Who are some of these people?” Raven asked looking around the back yard, the regular people were there but so were some other that Raven had never seen before.

“They work at the studio.” Anya pointed to a small group that Abby was chatting with, “I guess they have friends who aren’t us.”

“Weird.” Raven mumbled,

* * *

After descending for way longer than the blonde cared to admit she was finally ready to join the festivities. She could hear the chatter from the backyard, but instead made her way to the kitchen where the cute desserts were. There were baby shaped cookies and other baby themed things that were so precious.

“Do you like it?”

“I love everything.” Clarke smiled hugging her mom, “Thank you for doing this.”

“This is a mothers dream.” Abby smiled, “I’m happy I could do this for you and Lexa, speaking of where is she?”

“Upstairs she’ll be down in a second.” Clarke answered hearing the doorbell, “More people?”

“This one I think you’ll love.” Abby grinned walking towards the door Clarke close behind, she opened it seeing none other than her grandma.

“Gigi!”

“There’s my girl, oh my goodness look at you.” Freya yells seeing just how big Clarke is, this was the first she had seen her since she got pregnant.

“I didn’t know you were coming.” Clarke hugged the woman inhaling her Chanel perfume,

“Well, I wanted to surprise you.”

“Does Lexa know?” Clarke asked hearing a happy gasps from behind them,

“Gigi, I didn’t know you were here.” Lexa smiled going to hug the woman,

“Guess that answers that.” Clarke says,

“I planned on coming down for the birth of my great grandchild, so I thought why not head down a little early. “Freya shrugged,

“You’ll be here all month?” Lexa asked, clearly happy with the news. She loved Freya and the feeling was 100% mutual.

“Yes, I have some business here with a few editors, but I booked a hotel not too far from here, so I’ll be close. Pops will join me in a few weeks.”

“Gigi you absolutely have to stay here. “Clarke said, “A hotel are you kidding?”

“She’s right, you’re staying with us.” Lexa ordered,

“I told her you would mind.” Abby added,

“I don’t want to disturb you guys plus a hotel is always nice.”

“You’re staying here.” Clarke repeated, “I want you here I need the company.”

“Fine, fine!” Freya smiled hugging the girls, “This is my first time seeing the house Lexa you must give me a tour later.”

“Of course.” The brunette smiled.

The baby shower was in full swing, Clarke adored everything her mom set up she even got a throne to sit on. It was decorated and beautiful with cushions of course so it was Lexa approved. For the most part that’s where she resided during the party.

She was surprised to see people from her studio and some of her and Lexa’s other friends, it was nice. Of course, the usual people were there, and she talked to them for a few minutes as well. There was definitely tension but Clarke just wanted to enjoy the day not hash out her issues with her friends. 

“Ok how about a game?” Octavia suggested, “Me and Abby came up with a few if you’re up for it, Clarke.”

“Let’s do it.” Clarke shrugged,

“Ok this one is called guess who, basically I’ll read a question and we’ll guess Lexa or Clarke.” Octavia explained handing out colored cards, green for Lexa and blue for Clarke. “First question, who asked who out first?”

“Oh, easy Clarke.” Raven answered holding up her card, “I remember because I got prosecuted for being invited.”

“All because this one was too scared.” Clarke smiled grabbing Lexa’s hand,

“I’m never going to live that down huh?”

“Never.” The blonde confirmed,

“Who will change the most diapers?” Octavia asked, everyone holding up their green card,

“Anything for my baby boy.” Lexa cooed agreeing whole heartedly, she planned on doing the most possible so Clarke will have a well-deserved break.

“Who is already praying for baby number two?”

“God definitely this one.” Clarke pointed, “And them.” She said also pointing to Abby and Gigi who just laughed and agreed,

“We need a little girl.” Lexa said sweetly but Clarke wasn’t having it,

“Mama needs a break, maybe in a few years.”

“A few?” Lexa gasped, “How about two?”

“I’ll think about it.” She smirked,

All in all, the games were fun, it was funny seeing Lexa get teased and Clarke be deemed the disciplinary because everyone knew Lexa would be a puddle when that little boy is born. They played a few different ones before it was time to put the parents in the hot seat.

They had to choose one trait they wanted their baby to have from each of them and it couldn’t be a cop out answer like ‘everything.” For Lexa it was easy, she loved everything about Clarke but if she had to choose one thing for their son to have it would be her eyes. Those blue eyes were the first thing she noticed about her and it quickly became her favorite thing to look at. Seeing how much they light up when drawing or talking about her passions was a stunning thing. Blue was never a color she cared much for until she met Clarke Griffin.

Clarkes answer on the other hand didn’t come easy because she wanted to say Lexa’s everything. To her Lexa was perfect, she was kind and loving and caring and she wanted her son to be all of those things. She wanted to down at big green eyes and tanned skin and dark curls, but since she had to choose, so she said Lexa’s heart.

“I want my son to be everything Lexa is but since your making me choose I say her heart.” Clarke said, “I’ve never met someone as amazing and kind as her and she has such a big, incredible heart and I want my son to have that.”

“Aww.” A few people cooed but the couple barley noticed,

“Really?” Lexa whispered to the blonde who nodded with a smile,

“Of course, baby.”

Even if it wasn’t a big deal to others it was to Lexa, Clarkes answer meant so much to her. To even say she want their son to be anything like her is touching and she can’t believe she gets to love this woman forever.

“I love you so much.” Lexa mumbled giving the girl a quick kiss.

“I love you too.”

From there on they ate and chatted more Clarke spent time talking with the girls from the studio making sure everything was good. She called and texted with everyone almost daily, but she still wanted to check in and just missed it like hell. But she would be back soon luckily, after having her baby she would do a few more months off before returning and she couldn’t wait.

Once It was dark everyone started leaving except the family of course who would stay behind and clean and hopefully get back in Clarkes good graces.

So, while Lexa was giving Gigi the tour of the house and showing her to the guest room Raven made her way over to the blonde who was laying down in the living-room.

“This was nice.” Raven said trying to break the ice but also hating how awkward it was,

“Yeah.” Clarke replied not taking her eyes off her phone,

“I suck and I’m sorry and I need you to forgive me because I’m pretty sure this situation is making me break out in hives.” The brunette said pulling down her shirt to reveal a small break out.

“Must be what happens to bad friends.” Clarke teased,

“I really am sorry Clarke.” She huffed,

“I know.” She said honestly wondering if she should go into how she’s truly felt the past month, would that be productive or just drag this out longer than it needed to be? “I just missed you guys.” She said finally deciding to let it go, if the behavior repeated then she would say something but if this was a one-time thing and everyone was busy and wasn’t just neglecting her then she could let it go.

“I missed you too, my project wrapped this week, so I’ll be free more.” Raven explained, “Which means you’ll see me so much you’ll get tired of me.”

“I’m sure.” Clarke agreed getting a nudge from the girl, “How is Evelyn?”

“Still alive.” Raven sighed, “My aunt gives me updates I don’t even know why I care.”

“She is evil incarnate but she’s still your mom and you’re a much better person then her.” Clarke said, “Now more importantly, how are you?”

“Actually good, work is great me and Anya are good.” She smiled, “We’re still working on us, but she allowed me back in her life and I couldn’t be happier.”

“I’m happy for you both.” Clarke said genuinely,

“Thank you, this is partially because of you. The whole locking us in a room was bad but it did wake me up and your talk did to.”

“Well, I didn’t want to take all the credit or anything.” Clarke shrugged smiling, “Really though I am happy for you both.”

“Enough about me, how are you?”

“Very pregnant.” Clarke groaned going into details about the breakdowns and the back pains. Hormones this headache that, she’s going through a lot but with patience and Lexa she gets through it.

* * *

That night in bed Clarke felt really happy, the happiest she’s been in a while. She spent time with her friends, her body allowed her to be up and about for more than a few hours and even though she was already excited for her son to be born, the baby shower made her more so. Seeing all the gifts and clothes and people who will love him, seeing Lexa already in parent mode all of it added to the excitement.

“What are you smiling about?” Lexa asked joining her in bed,

“Today was good.” Clarke said cuddling close to the brunette,

“It was.” She agreed smiling contently, “Our son is going to be so spoiled.”

“He will be, and I won’t have it any other way.”

“Me either.” She chuckled thinking how all this love and attention will go to one little person, “I can’t wait to meet him”

“Me either.” Clarke smiled,

* * *

A few weeks later and Clarke was still on cloud nine, her pains were minimal, her mood was good and having Gigi in the house was amazing. She didn’t get to see her much so anytime with her she cherished even though they didn’t do anything too exciting. Mostly just lay around and talk about New York and book or the baby and if she was feeling good, they would go for a drive. The fresh air was nice and being in the car with the top down was the closet thing she felt to freedom in months. In conclusion having Gigi around was a god send but today she was out so her and Lexa had the house to themselves.

“Right there baby.” Clarke moaned, “Ugh that feels so amazing I swear those fingers are magical.”

“God if anyone walked in here right now, they would think you were having the best sex of your life.” Lexa said shaking her head as she continued to rub the girl’s feet,

“This is definitely a close second.” Clarke smiled, “Dickmatized Clarke and Footmatized Clarke are too very different things.”

“Trust me babe I know.” She said smugly before putting the fluffy socks over her feet and making her way up to the girls’ lips, “All done.”

“You really are the best.” Clarke mumbled against her lips. “Can you help me up I have to pee for the thousandth time today.”

Lexa gladly helped the blonde off of the bed before helping her walk to the bathroom. She could walk on her own, but Lexa still like to help, once they were at the door, she let her go before turning back towards the bed. Not even a minute later she heard groaning and water hit the floor so quickly she jumped up and ran back to the bathroom. She was greeted with a wide-eyed Clarke who was standing with wet pants and a shocked face.

“What happened?” Lexa said wondering if what was happening was happening,

“My water just broke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chance to give me a baby name!!!!!;)  
> hope you enjoyed new chapter very soon and you may meet a new little human.  
> Do you guys celebrate Christmas or anything else this time a year? If so i hope your holidays are great and if you don't i hope you have a wonderful month!!! love you for reading
> 
> Also 
> 
> This is old news but I am outraged about teenage bounty hunters being canceled!!!! Someone from this story recommended it and I fell in love I’m so sad ok bye


	6. September 1st

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready to meet our precious Clexa baby?
> 
> DISCLAIMER:  
> I AM NOT WELL VERSED ON PREGNANCY SO BARE WITH ME

**_ January 2028 _ **

Debilitating fear, that was a good way to describe the feeling that filled Clarke’s whole being as she stared at the stick that was telling her something. Something she didn’t know how to react to because the last time she was in a similar position it didn’t turn out well. The last time this stick told her this she ended up facing the biggest heart break of her life and there was no way in hell she could handle that again.

Then there was telling Lexa, how was she going to tell her new fiancé that ~~she~~ no _they_ were expecting. How can she tell her that when she just signed a publishing deal, and all her dreams were coming true? How could she tell her after they just bought a house and she just got settled into her studio? _How could she tell her after what happened last time?_

The only thing she knew was they couldn’t go through that again, even though they were stronger because of it, it still hurt like hell and they barley made it through on the other side. But she couldn’t avoid that it was happening, or act like it isn’t real. There was a baby growing inside of her and she needed to tell Lexa.

“Clarke! I’m home.”

‘Fuck’ Clarke panicked trying to figure out what to do, she looked down at the stick one more time before shoving it in her pocket and going downstairs to greet her fiancé.

She tried to calm herself down, but it was useless, Lexa could read her like a book she would just have to be straight forward.

The living-room was empty, so she went to the kitchen where she found the brunette putting away some groceries.

“There you are.” Lexa smiled, “I was starting to think you went out, look what I found at the door.” She held up a basket, it had tons of little goodies and a bottle of champagne with a huge card that said congratulations. Clarke gulped at the irony, “It’s from your old job, the card says, ‘Happy new year and we hope the studio is doing well love the Art and Wellness team’. You should have a glass it looks like a kind you like.”

“I can’t, I can’t drink.” Clarke says quickly, the girl giving her a look

“You know I don’t mind Clarke.”   
“That’s not why.” Clarke said the brunette giving her a concerned look,

“Babe what’s wrong?” Lexa asked watching silent tears roll down the blonde’s face as she pulled something out of her pocket,

“I’m pregnant.” She said barley above a whisper handing her the stick, waiting for a reply that never came. When she looked up, she saw Lexa staring at the stick with a plank look, “Say something please.”

“Are yo-.. are you sure?” she asked looking up to the nodding girl, “You’re not happy?”

“I want to be, I am I’m just so scared.” She admitted feeling Lexa’s arms around her, “I can’t do that again Lex, I can’t.”

“I know baby.” She murmured, she was trying to process but the only thing she could think of was what happened last time and how neither of them could go through that again. They couldn’t and she wouldn’t allow it, “It’s going to be ok Clarke, we’re going to be ok and our baby is going to be ok.”

“But-.”

“No buts, we can’t think like that we need to be positive and happy. Happy that we’re engaged, and we bought a house and now we’re starting a family.” She smiled, “Can try and be happy about that with me?”

“Yes.” She said wiping her tears, “It’ll be ok.”

“It’ll be ok.” Lexa repeated, “We’ll make a doctor’s appointment and take everything one step at a time, together.”

“Together.”

* * *

_ **PRESENT** _

“Your due date isn’t for a week!” Lexa said semi panicking as she got Clarke and all the baby bags into the car,

“Baby’s come early Lexa, it’s not uncommon.” Clarke grunted trying to calm herself down,

“Ok, this is happening.” Lexa breathed trying to wrap her head around the fact that her fiancé was about to have a baby, “It’ll be ok!”

“Everything hurts and I want to die.” Clarke cried laying as far back in the car her seat would allow,

“It’ll be ok, just take deep breaths.”

“Take deep breaths?” Clarke yelled, clearly not happy with that response. “I’m about to push a human out of my vagina and you want me to take deep breaths!”

Lexa didn’t know what to do or say so instead she just drove and called the hospital, luckily their doctor was on call and would be waiting for them upon arrival. Next, she called her dad to spread the word she knew if she called Abby there would be 101 questions that she didn’t have the focus to answer.

“Lex!”

“We’re almost there my love just hold on.” Lexa offered her hand which the blonde didn’t fail to squeeze the hardest possible, but it was fine. _Everything was fine._

Within minutes they were at the hospital and everything was moving so fast and Lexa’s head was spinning but she had to stay calm. They put Clarke in a wheelchair and got her into a room where Lexa helped her into her gown. A few minutes later the doctor came to Lexa’s delight because her reassurances were only making Clarke mad and she was sort of freaking out.

“Who’s ready to have a baby!” Dr. Jones smiled seeing the couple, she was a friend of Abbys and recommended so they knew they were in good hands,

“Definitely me.” Clarke groaned not really in the mood for banter,

“Her due date wasn’t for another week is everything ok?” Lexa asked worriedly, she didn’t want to freak Clarke out but she had to know.

“If it were a month I’d be more worried but what’s most important is hitting that 39 week mark and you have so that’s a plus.” She assured as she checks Clarke’s vitals, “Our last check up a few weeks ago everything looked great, your baby boy was perfect. How have the pains been in the last few days?”

“Some back pain and lower stomach but it’s been worse in the past.” Clarke answered,

“How would you describe your pain right now?”

“Torture.” Clarke mumbled,

“Many women say that exact thing.” Dr. Jones smiled, “Ok here’s what we’ll do, first get you situated then see how we can assist in labor.”

“Will it take a while?” Lexa asked,

“It varies, labor doesn’t always happen as soon as the water breaks it could take a few hours don’t worry you’ll get to meet your little one soon.”

* * *

The first to arrive was Octavia, she looked a mess in pajamas and a bun that was barely holding onto the scrunchy. Granted it was Sunday and ten pm.

“How is she?” She asked a pacing Lexa who was currently standing outside of the room,

“Fine, they’re seeing how far she’s dilated right now.” The brunette answered wiping her sweaty palms down her sweatpants

“Are you ok?”

“No, I’m sort of freaking out.” Lexa said honestly, “I don’t know what to say or do or how to help. She’s about to give birth I’m going to have a baby, oh my god I’m having a fucking baby!”

“Lexa relax.” Octavia had never seen the girl like this, Lexa was the definition of cool calm and collected but now she was a sweaty nervous wreck,

“I’ve had months to prepare for this and I thought I was ready.” She said wide eyed, “Oh my god, what if I’m a terrible mother? Oh no-.”

“Ok stop! You’re going to be a great mom you just need to calm down. Take a deep breath.”

“She was right that is shitty advice.” Lexa mumbled, before Octavia could reply the doctor came of the room, “Is everything ok?”

“Everything is perfect, she’s only about 5 cm dilated, usually at 6cm dilation will progress about every hour. Once she’s at 10 we’ll see if the baby is in position and she’ll start pushing.” Dr. Jones explained,

“Do you think it will happen tonight?” Lexa asked,

“Probably not, I’d say into the early hours.”

It was already nearing midnight and Lexa hoped their parents would make it here on time. After Dr. Jones explained a few more things both Lexa and Octavia went in to sit with Clarke who was currently struggling with her contractions.

After the first trimester of her pregnancy Clarke dove into and extensive amount of research not only about baby’s but about birth and everything involved. Admittedly her research took her way deeper than she anticipated, so deep that she decided against having an epidural. She knew the pain would be insane but reading about all the things that can go wrong with epidurals made her want a natural birth. Now that she was here, and the contractions were kicking her ass an epidural didn’t sound like the worst idea.

Having Lexa helped of course, having Lexa always helped she was patient and hands on, and Clarke couldn’t wait to see a little baby in the woman’s arms.

Soon enough all their friends were there as well as Gigi and none of them wanted to leave the blondes side which was a stark contrast to a few weeks ago. As much as she appreciated them being there, she needed her space so she not so nicely she kicked everyone out to the waiting room except Gigi and of course Lexa.

“I’ll go and get us some coffee.” Gigi said to the brunette who nodded,

“Thank you, Gigi.”

For the past few hours Lexa had been trying to wrap her head around the fact that she was about to be a mom. Sure, she’s had nine months to wrap her head around it and she thought she had until everything became so real. Now she was doubting herself, doubting if she was ready for this.

“I can hear you thinking.” Clarke said, her eyes closed as she tried to breathe through her contractions. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Lexa answered,

“Sit with me.” Clarke moved over on her tiny bed making enough room for the woman who laid by her side her hand going straight to the blonde’s stomach, “You can’t lie to me Lexa Trikru so tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

The brunette sighed leaning into her fiancé’s side while lightly rubbing her bump that would soon be gone.

“I’m scared.” Lexa admitted, not facing the blonde instead focusing on her stomach, “I want to be a good mom and I thought I was ready, but I’m scared that I won’t be able to do it and I just- I wish my mom was here to meet him and give me advice but she’s not and I feel like I’m going fail.”

“Lexa.” She knew Lexa would miss the presence of her mom today. It happened during every major event in their lives like graduation, planning to propose, house shopping, and now having her first baby. Clarke always tried to be comforting and reassure her but it’s not the same and they both know it. “I wish your mom was here too and I’m sorry she’s not, but you have to know she would tell you that you’re going to be an amazing mom. It going to be hard and we’ll probably never sleep again but our baby will be here and happy and there’s no doubt in my mind that his happiness will be because he has such an amazing person as his mom. I’m scared too, this is a whole human being and we made him and even though I’m scared I’m excited too. Will you be excited with me?”

Lexa smiled nodding into the blonde’s shoulder,

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

A few hours in and Abby, Jake, Gustus and Aurora had finally arrived, and right on time. It was almost three in the morning when the doctors told Clarke she could start pushing. She decided to only have Lexa in the room and was confident that she broke the poor woman’s hand while she was pushing but the brunette didn’t complain. As expected, the pain was unbearable but when it was over, and she heard a loud cry fill the room she knew it was worth it. She knew her work wasn’t over yet, but she caught glimpses of the little boy as the doctors were preparing him.

The doctors cleaned him and wrapped him before giving him to Lexa who’s face was covered in tears. The crying had faded and all that was left was a sweet little boy with dark curls and big blue-green eyes that stared up at her.

“Hi.” She smiled down at the little baby and all her doubts suddenly felt so silly because right then she knew she would do whatever it takes to make this the happiest baby on her earth,

“Lex.”

Lexa looked up to a smiling Clarke, she walked over to the bed lightly handing the baby over.

“He’s beautiful.” Clarke smiled tears rolling down her face, “He looks just like you.” There was no doubt he had Clarkes eyes but everything else was all Lexa, the nose, the lips, beautiful brown curls. He was all Lexa and she loved it.

“I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much.” Lexa murmured still staring down at the baby. “Thank you for giving this, I love both of you so much.”

“We love you too.” Clarke grinned looking down at the baby, “Isn’t that right?”

“We still need a name.” Lexa reminded; Clarke pretty much shot down every name she suggested so she left it up to the blonde. She knew she would love anything Clarke picked. 

“I’ve had the perfect name for months.” She smiled,

* * *

_Meanwhile in the waiting room………._

“It’s taking too long.” Octavia said as she paced the outside of Clarkes room, her best friend was giving birth and she couldn’t be more excited to meet her little nephew.

“Relax babe, you need to stop pacing.” Lincoln grabbed his girlfriend guiding her to a seat,

“I want to see him!” She pressed,

“We all do.” Anya replied a seat over, “And your pacing isn’t helping.”

“You guys are so impatient.” Raven added, “But while we’re on the subject I can’t wait to meet him either, do you guys know what name they settled on?”

“No.” Anya answered as well as everyone else,

Before anyone else could say anything, a grinning Lexa came out of the room walking over to the group.

“Is everything ok?” Abby asked practically running up to the brunette,

“Everything is perfect.” Lexa smiled, “We can only have a few people in at a time so parents first.”

“No fair.” Octavia mumbled watching the group enter the room.

Abby and Gigi were basically running towards Clarke when the door opened while Jake and Gustus hung back with Lexa.

“Oh, my goodness Clarke.” Abby took the baby already crying as she held the little one, “He’s perfect.”

“What his name?” Gigi asked peering over Abby shoulder to get a peak,

Clarke smiled ushering Lexa over to the bed, the baby was gone but she still needed help sitting up and the brunette was happy to help. Once she was sitting up right, she held Lexa’s hand who hadn’t stopped smiling since their baby was born.

“I already have an Alexandra; I just needed an Alixander.” Clarke smiled remembering moments earlier how shocked Lexa was that she wanted to name the baby after her, “Alixander Elijah Griffin-Trikru.”

“Elijah.” Gustus smiled, “Your mom would love that.”

“I thought so.” Lexa smiled; she had never met any of her grandparents, but she grew up on stories about her grandpa Elijah. Her mom and her dad had a tight relationship and when he died it was really hard on her especially when she had Anya and Lexa. It made her sad they couldn’t meet him, but she wanted them to know him, so she told them stories. It wasn’t until she laid eyes on her little boy that Lexa realized that’s what she would have to do as well. He would never meet his grandma, but she would make sure he knew her.

They each took turns holding the baby Lexa snapping pictures and hovering just in case they let his head drop or he starts crying.

_Protective already._

Clarke laid back enjoying the view, she knew her baby would be well loved, and she was happy he had so many amazing people. Mostly she was glad they both had Lexa, eight years ago when she walked into school prepared to give a new student a tour, she never imagined that student would one day be her wife and mother to her kids. Happiness was nothing but a mere concept before she met Lexa and now it’s the only thing she can feel.

* * *

“You’re a mom.” Octavia whispered holding the little bundle in her arms, everyone else went downstairs to get food leaving the two girls alone with the baby.

“I always said it would be you and Lincoln first.” Clarke smiled leaning into her best friend,

“You also said we’d get married first; you’re beating me at everything.” Octavia joked, “I’m so happy for you Clarke.”

“Thank you for being here with me every step of the way.” Clarke said, “Not just my pregnancy, our whole lives. You’ve never let me face anything on my own and without you I’m sure I’d be lost somewhere.”

“Stop, you’re going to be make me cry.” Octavia chuckled wiping some stray tears from her face,

“I mean it, I love you O and I know this goes without saying but when I get married, I can’t do it if you aren’t by my side so will you be my maid of honor?”

“Clarke!” the brunette was full on sobbing now at the blonde’s words and the small baby was staring up at her with a confused face, “I would love to.”

“Tears, I hope they’re happy ones.” Raven said entering the room and sitting on the other side of Clarke, “What’s going on?”

“I asked Octavia to be my maid of honor.”

“You’re such a sap.” Raven joked,

“Shut it Reyes this is an emotional moment.” Octavia quipped back,

“It is.” She agreed, “But I have to say if she gets to be in charge of dresses I might forfeit all bridesmaid duties!”

“I can pick a good dress.” Octavia scolded,

“Knowing you it’ll be boring and plain though.” Raven replied,

“You bitch, I have good style!”

“Gigi dresses younger than you.” Raven smiled,

“Ok, that’s enough of that you two are scaring my poor baby.” Clarke chuckled grabbing Alix who had started crying, “I’ll pick the dress and that’s the end of that.”

“There’s still the bachelorette party.” Raven smirked, “Strippers obviously.”

“Can we not discuss strippers in front of my newborn.” Clarke smiled,

“So, is that a yes on the strippers?” Octavia asked,

“There will be no strippers.” Lexa said coming into the room with Clarkes food,

“You heard the commander.” Clarke smirked

* * *

A few days later they were back home with baby Alix and the pair couldn’t be happier. Their parents and Gigi stuck around to help which was nice, they figured they should take advantage of the extra help while it was here.

Clarke was happy to not be pregnant anymore even though she still had weeks of recovery ahead of her it was nice not having that huge bump to carry around. She was bummed she wouldn’t be able to workout or have sex for at least a month and a half, but bed rest was over, and she had more freedoms which was a plus.

“Where’s Alix?” Clarke asked Lexa who was in the kitchen making a salad,

“Jake and my dad are upstairs with him, if they leave him alone long enough, he should be ready for his nap.”

“Like I said, spoiled.” Clarke smiled wrapping her arms around the woman, “I’ll go recue him soon and we’ll nap together I’m a little tired.”

“Sleeping with him in our bed isn’t good Clarke, he’ll want to do that all the time.”

“But he’s so cute and cuddly, I can’t sleep without him.” The blonde pouted,

“Fine but when our parents leave, he needs to get used to his crib.” Lexa sighed,

“And they said I would be the disciplinarian.” Clarke smirked,

* * *

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay?” Abby asked for the fifth time, it had been a couple weeks since the baby was born and Abby, Jake, and Gustus were finally leaving to go home. Gigi and Pops had left a few days before and, but Abby was having a hard time saying goodbye.

“Abs, they have it from here.” Jake said as he walked by with their bags,

“He’s right mom, we appreciate all of you for staying so long but you can’t stay forever, and we need to get used to having him on our own.” Clarke said, “We’ll call if we need anything I promise.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to Arkadia?” Abby suggested, “We have a nursery and of course your old room Clarke.”

“Mom, we’re staying here in our house.” Clarke repeated, she knew her mom was trying to be helpful, but the clinginess was annoying, “Do you not think I can do this on my own?”

“Of course, I do Clarke.”

“Then stop suggesting we come with you and stop trying to convince us you need to stay we’ll be fine.” Clarke knew immediately she was too harsh by the look on her mom’s face, but the woman had been at this for days. As much as her and Lexa were grateful for the help, they needed their space.

“Someone wanted to say bye.” Lexa smiled walking outside with the small baby in her arms, she had no clue what was happening, but Abby looked like her favorite pet had just dies and Clarke looked like she was the one who killed it,

Lexa handed the baby to Abby and let her soon to be in-laws say their goodbyes while she went back inside to find her dad. Having him here was a god send not just for the baby but for herself as well. She missed him and even though they didn’t lived too far from each other it was still hard to see one another but she’s hoping now that they have Alix it would give them a reason to visit more.

“Ready to go?” She asked the man who was in the living room gathering his bags,

“I am.” He nodded, reaching into his bag, “But before I go, I wanted to give you something.”

Lexa watched as he pulled a familiar envelope out of his bag and handed it to her. He didn’t have to tell her what it was, she had opened two before, so she knew.

“I figured you would want to read it alone so that’s why I waited.” He explained, “I’m proud of you Lexa, for everything and she is too. It’s been amazing seeing how great of a mother you are these past few weeks and I can’t wait to see my little grandson growing up. I love you kid.”

“I love you too dad.” She hugged the big man before helping him carry his bags out to the car. They each said their goodbyes to baby Alix before piling into the car and started their journey back home.

“Alone at last.” Clarke smiled turning to her fiancé and son,

“Abby looked pretty sad.” Lexa said as they walked back inside, “What did you say to her?”

“Why do you assume I said something?” Clarke asked rolling her eyes at the brunettes look, “All I said was we’ll be fine when she kept offering to stay or wanting us to come it was annoying. I need space and she was smothering the hell out of me it’s not like we won’t be in Arkadia in a couple weeks.”

“She’s excited Clarke it’s her first grandchild.”

“I know.” She groaned,

“Then call her later and apologize.”

“Fine.” Clarke sighed, “So bossy commander.”

* * *

A few hours passed and Alix was down for his nap, so Lexa grabbed the envelope from her dad and went down to the kitchen to find Clarke. Like the other times the small lightweight paper felt like a boulder in her hands. It’s not like she didn’t know what it was, but she never knew what it would say and knowing who wrote it added to the pressure.

When she entered the kitchen, she found Clarke cooking dinner completely in her own world as she hummed to the music playing on the laptop. She couldn’t help but smile as the blonde moved around the space stirring whatever deliciousness that was cooking in the pot. This was her soon to be wife and damn was she happy about that.

“Baby.” She said getting the woman’s attention,

“I’m making tomato soup and grilled cheese it should be ready soon.”

“That sounds good.” Lexa sat at on stool at the table, “I actually came down because of this.” She put the envelope on the table and Clarke looked at her knowingly. “He gave it to me today.”

“Do you want to read it?” Clarke asked walking over to the brunette, she remembered the first time she found Lexa with one of these. It was high school graduation night and their parent had thrown them a party at Clarkes house. The whole time Clarke knew something was up with the girl, but it wasn’t until everyone had went home and Clarke found her sitting by the pool that she learned what. She was holding a similar envelope with the words ‘For when you graduate high school’ written on the front. At first glance she figure it was something from Gustus, but Lexa’s tears told her it was from her mom. She couldn’t open it, so she asked Clarke to read it to her and she did the same when she got the second one after finishing college.

“Can you?” Lexa whispered and Clarke nodded giving the girl a small kiss before grabbing the envelope. Like the others the paper was thick and sealed tightly and the writing was beautiful. ‘For when you become a mom’

_Dear Lexa,_

_If you are reading this it means you’ve met an amazing woman and have decided to add a new addition to your family. I’m hoping it also means you’re well over 25 in a steady relationship with a career and not a teenage mother stressing your poor father out, who am I kidding you aren’t Anya. I’m joking! Don’t tell her I said that she won’t think it’s funny. As I was saying, if you have this letter it’s because you just had your first baby. I remember the day both you and Anya were born so I know the joy you must feel. I hope it’s with someone you love and someone who loves you the way you deserve. And I hope you know how proud I am of you and how happy I am that you have a family of your own now. I know when my dad died, I wanted nothing more than to see him holding my little beautiful babies and I’m so sorry you have to feel that too. But I know I don’t have to worry because you my sweet, beautiful daughter will make sure your kids know just how much I love them and how much I wish I could be there. The more I sit to write these letters the more it reminds me of just how much I’ll be missing but I want you and Anya to know I’m with you every step of the way. My only hope now is that you can feel my love through these letters because I love you so much Alexandra Trikru. You’ve brought my life so much joy and happiness and now it’s time for you to do that for your little baby._

_-Love, Mom_

Clarke put the letter down and wrapped her arms around the crying woman, these letter meant everything to Lexa it was always hard receiving one. Touching something she held and made especially for her and then reading words only for her felt impossible but with Clarke she could do just about anything.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, baby.” Clarke whispered still holding Lexa in her arms, “I think this one might be my favorite.” She said referring to the letters.”

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First i want to thank these people for helping with the baby name: (Anonylex, hbenac10, Jesse2)!!!! I know some of you may have suggested Alex or Alexander so i went with that just changed the spelling. Naming him after Lexa never crossed my mind for some reason but i'm so happy i ended up doing that. 
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed, i know the ending may have pulled some heartstrings and it is definitely not the last time you'll hear from Elena(Lexa and Anya's mom) 
> 
> The next chapter may be a sad one it's all up to how you interpret it i suppose! see you soon


	7. The lady on Alpha Parkway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke, Lexa, Alix, Anya and Raven travel to Arkadia for a family dinner but our new moms are running low on steam.

Traveling with a one-month-old wasn’t the easiest task for new moms but traveling with a one-month-old when both moms were running on five hours of sleep was devastatingly horrible. It had been a couple of weeks since Abby, Jake and Gustus left them in LA but not having the help was an adjustment. It helped having Octavia take care of Nova at her house for a couple weeks until they got settled.

They were too used to not being woken up in the middle of the night because Abby would most likely grab the baby and put him back to sleep. It was part of the reason Clarke was so adamant that their parents leave because they needed to get used to having the baby alone and even weeks later, they were still adjusting.

Now Alix was currently screaming down the car and Anya was failing at calming him down which was the only reason Clarke asked her to ride with them.

“Nothings working!” Anya screamed, she was panicking she tried the pacifier, the toys, and the bottle and none of it was working.

“Try the bottle again.” Lexa suggested trying to focus on the road, they were almost at her dad’s house.

“He doesn’t want the damn bottle Lexa!” Anya exclaimed, “I’m the worst, oh my god he hates me!”

Finally, after a few more minutes of crying Clarke took off her seatbelt and climbed into the back seat.

“Clarke!” Lexa yelled, scolding the woman,

“Hi baby boy.” She cooed unbuckling the crying boy, “You’re freaking aunty Anya out.” As soon as she picked the little baby up his crying subsided.

“See I told you we’re holding him too much.” Lexa said, pulling into the driveway

“It’s fine Lexa.” Clarke sighed,

“It’s not fine because he keeps crying to be held and it makes car rides difficult.” Lexa replied angrily, this was an argument they’ve had for the past week

“I’m going to get the bags.” Anya said awkwardly before getting out of the car,

Clarke didn’t want to argue, and she knew where this was headed so she put the now sleeping baby back into car seat and got him out of the car. They would be staying with Gustus while they were in town and she wanted nothing more than to get inside and take a nap.

“There he is!” Gustus smiled taking the car seat, “How are you Clarke?”

“Tired, very very tired.” She replied,

“Understandable, go ahead upstairs I’ll take care of this little guy.”

“Thank you, Gus.” She hugged the man before going upstairs to Lexa’s old room, they didn’t come to Arkadia much but every time she stepped foot in this room it felt like a time capsule. For the most part it looked the same from College, hell even high school. Most importantly Lexa still had a very comfortable bed that Clarke couldn’t wait to use.

After taking off her shoes and pants she crawled into the bed snuggling up in the soft blankets. She hoped Lexa would join her, but she wasn’t sure, with the stress of the baby and this visit they had been arguing more often. It was never about anything serious, but they were both exhausted and they had an extremely spoiled baby which didn’t help.

Both girls were to blame, when they could they both constantly wanted to have the boy in their arms, but they had been trying to cut back to his dismay. They tried letting him cry but Clarke would always end up picking him up anyways which caused an argument. The blonde was hoping being here for a few days would help them relax and get some rest which would help with the stress.

She laid quietly for nearly an hour before she heard the door open and felt someone slip into bed beside her. She didn’t say anything just cuddled into Lexa who wrapped her arms around her.

“Did I wake you?” The brunette whispered,

“No, I couldn’t sleep without you.”

“Go to sleep.” She smiled kissing the blonde’s forehead,

* * *

Clarke’s nap was short and sweet which was exactly what she needed after barley sleeping the night before. Tonight, she knew she would get more rest since they had the help, so she decided to get out of bed. She left Lexa with a kiss on her cheek before going downstairs where Raven was feeding Alix. She knew she hadn’t been here when she went to sleep so her appearance was new. None the less after snapping a quick picture with her phone she joined the girl on the couch.

“How’s he been?” Clarke asked smiling at the boy,

“Good, hasn’t cried once since I got here.” She smiled, “Baby’s grow so fast, I just seen him a few days ago and I feel like he’s bigger.”

“He’ll grow quickly the first few months.”

“I see he’s running you ragged.” Raven said noticing the dark circles and messy hair the blonde was sporting.

“Mom life.” She shrugged,

“He’s lucky to have two amazing moms like you and Lexa, you’re doing great Clarke.”

“We’re trying.” She smiled,

Since she was up, and the baby was cared for Clarke decided to put her little energy she had to help Gustus cook. He was making chicken alfredo so she helped as much as she could with the simple dish and when the man complained about not having dessert she offered to run out and get some.

The Ark had an amazing cheesecake so she called ahead and had one made so she could pick it up. When she walked in, she was greeted by Betty who was a long-time employee of the family. They talked for a few minutes, Clarke showing her dozens of pictures of Alixander before getting her order. On her way out the door she felt a hand grab her arm and when she turned, she was surprised to see Costia.

“If it isn’t Clarke Griffin.” She smiled hugging the blonde,

“Costia!” she hadn’t seen the curly hair woman in three years since she graduated college. She looked the same, but her features were mature, and she was still as gorgeous as ever. “It’s so good to see you, are you eating here?”

“Yeah, me and my parents.” She answered, “I’m in town for a few days so we’re grabbing dinner.”

“Oh yeah, I heard you moved to San Francisco. Are you still doing interior design?”

“I am, I have my own business and it’s going pretty great.” She smiled pulling her card from her purse and giving it to the blonde, “If you ever need your house decorated you know who to call.”

“Me and Lexa plan to move soon so I definitely will call you.”

“Congratulations by the way on the baby, now that Lexa’s all famous I can’t seem to escape you to on my social media. To think that could’ve been me.” She smirked and Clarke laughed remember the other woman’s failed attempt to ask Lexa out back in high school. “I’m really happy for you Clarke, maybe we can catch up soon, get lunch or something."

“I would love to.”

“Perfect my numbers on the card. “she said, “While we’re here I guess I should ask, how is Raven? We text but she never gives me a straight answer about how she’s doing.”

“She’s fine, I think she’s more upset than she lets on, but she has all of us to lean on and we’ll help her through it. How is Evelyn?”

“Still alive.” Costia huffed, “Only she can be dramatic and drag out a death this long. My mom visits her almost every day and I have no clue why. I know they’re sisters, but Evelyn hates her with a passion, don’t even get me started on my grandparents. Anyways none of that matters I’m just worried for Raven, but I know you will make sure she’s ok.”

“I will.” Clarke nodded; the pair talked for a few more minutes before parting after promising to make lunch plans.

The whole time that Clarke was driving in her car the more she thought about Evelyn. It pissed her off the way Raven had to grow up because of this woman and now she would just get to die without a care in the word and it wasn’t fair. She deserved to know what she missed out on and she deserved to know how amazing Raven turned and how it had nothing to do with her.

The miserable dying woman deserved all of those things and more and that is why after driving for ten minutes Clarke found herself turning down Alpha parkway.

She didn’t even know if Evelyn would see her seeing as she despises her and her parents, but it was worth the shot.

The driveway was empty except for a small kia which she knew wasn’t the older woman’s, she was way too posh to drive something like that. She parked her car behind the other car before walking up to the huge door. This wasn’t a good idea; she should’ve went back to the house, but she was here now, so she knocked.

It took a minute but finally a young woman in dark blue scrubs opened the door with a surprised look.

“Hi, can I help you?” she asked, looking at Clarke curiously

“I’m Clarke Griffin, a friend of Ravens.” She answered, “Evelyn’s daughter.”

“I know.” She smiled, “I'm Sara, Evelyn's nurse I met Raven when she visited a few months back.”

“Right well I was wondering if I could see Evelyn.”

“Really?” the nurse asked clearly surprised

“Uh, yeah.” Clarke confirms,

“Sorry!” she chuckled, “She doesn’t get very many visitors and between me and you I completely understand why.”

Clarke giggled, was Evelyn really that intolerable that even her own nurse disliked her?

“Come in Clarke, I’m sure she will be just as surprised as me to have a guest.”

“How bad is she?” Clarke asked as she entered the house, growing up she never came to this house much but there was the odd occasion when Evelyn was out of town that her and Raven would enjoy the huge empty house.

“The cancer is spreading, unfortunately it’s just a waiting game.”

Clarke nodded regretting coming here even more now, did she really want to degrade a dying woman?

“She’s right this way.” The nurse said ushering for her to follow, they didn’t have to walk far since the woman was in a room downstairs.

When they got to a door the nurse went in first to see if Evelyn was ok with Clarke coming in and to her surprise she was. She had no clue what to expect but what she saw wasn’t it.

Evelyn Reyes was the epitome of a posh rich socialite; she never left the house without full hair and makeup and she never missed a nail appointment, but Clarke could honestly say that is not the Evelyn she was seeing today. The woman barley looked alive, her skin pale and lifeless and her eyes were barley opening.

“Clarke Griffin.” She croaked sitting up in the small bed, “First your mother and now you what a pleasure.”

“My mom came to see you?” Clarke asked,

“Oh yes, I believe she came gloat over my dying body so that saves you the time.”

“I didn’t come to gloat.” Clarke said, “Honestly I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“It will save time if you figure it out so we can both go about our days.”

“Insufferable even in death I see.” Clarke sighed,

“I’ve heard.”

“Aren’t you going to ask me about Raven?”

“Don’t be silly Clarke.”

“Why are you like this? I don’t understand Elinor is nothing like you and you’re sisters so what went so wrong with you?”

“The age-old question, maybe you should ask perfect Elinor.”

“Look Evelyn I didn’t come to go back and forth with you and the more I’m here the more I regret even turning my car down this street. I just wanted you to know calling Raven here just to degrade her was unnecessary. She deserves so much better than you and I hope you know that. Your daughter is amazing and smart and kind, and I pity you for not getting to experience what it’s like to know her. I know you don’t care but I want you to know that she will be ok when you die. Despite being the worst mother, that’s ever-graced earth Raven still cares about you. She still asks Elinor about you and I know when you finally die it will be hard for her. So, no I didn’t come here to gloat, but I wanted you know you missed out on raising an amazing person and you should regret it.”

Clarke knew no matter what she said it would be pointless, this woman was heartless that much she knew.

“Goodbye Evelyn.”

“My mother didn’t want another daughter, so when I was born, I was nothing more than an inconvenience. She didn’t like me much and when I got pregnant so young, she hated me even more. I was never capable of the love Raven needed and I made many mistakes that is clear. I won’t make excuses but if dying has taught me anything it’s just how alone I truly am. When I called Raven here, I fully intended to mend whatever was left between us, but I ruined that I’m just glad I didn’t ruin her whole life. I see her name in articles, apparently she’s incredibly smart.” She smiled slightly, “I regret a lot Clarke, but regrets are useless, thank you for visiting Sara will show you out.”

Shocked wasn’t the right word, in the many years she’s known Raven this is the gentlest she’s ever heard her mother talk. She wanted to believe what the woman said, and it sounded sincere, but it was too late, and she was saying it to the wrong person.

* * *

When Lexa woke the sun was setting and the bed was empty to her disappointment. Her and Clarke had been fighting a lot this week and she hated it, but she was also exhausted and wanted Alix to start getting used to not being held. It didn’t help that they had to travel with him, but she didn’t want to miss the dinner. They already delayed it for her, and this was annual.

Since Alix was born at the beginning of September and it was all anyone could focus on so they couldn’t have the dinner for their mom that they usually had. So instead, they decided to have it at the beginning of October when things calmed down.

After getting dressed Lexa wondered downstairs where she found Anya and Raven huddled over a babbling Alix. She couldn’t help but smile at the scene, her sister who hated kids being adorable with her son.

“Having fun?” Lexa asked startling both woman,

“Alixander has been very nice company.” Anya smiled,

“Did you just get here?” Lexa asked Raven who shook her head,

“A couple hours ago, my meeting ended early so I drove here from the office.”

“She landed a new project.” Anya bragged, very proud of her girlfriend

“That’s amazing Rae, what is it this time?” Lexa asked, she didn’t understand much of Ravens work she just knew it was for geniuses and tech savvy people.

“So, after my work with Becca Franco who is the sister to one of our old high school teachers, I don’t know if you remember anyways. She liked the work I did, and she wanted to bring my team on for her new project for NASA. Fucking NASA!”

“Wow Raven, congratulations!” Lexa smiled hugging the woman, “What are you going to be doing.”

“That’s classified just know it’s going to be epic.” She smiled,

“Well, we can’t wait to see it babe.” Anya added giving her a quick peck,

“Have you guys seen Clarke?” Lexa asked the pair who nodded,

“She woke up about an hour ago and started helping dad cook, we didn’t have anything for dessert, so she went out to get something and she mentioned stopping by Jake and Abby’s to get some baby stuff.” Anya answered,

“She should be back soon though.” Raven added,

* * *

When Clarke arrived back to the Trikru residence she was greeted with the cutest scene of Raven, Anya and Lexa playing with a giggling Alix. She didn’t know if she should tell Raven that she visited her mom but seeing her now, finally happy with her girlfriend and her dream job she didn’t want to take that from her, so she kept it to herself.

“Look who’s back.” Raven smiled, getting up to take the cheesecake from the blonde and carrying it to the kitchen.

“Took you long enough.” Anya added,

“Sorry, I ran into people at the ark and we got to talking but I brought cheesecake.” Clarke smiled knowing it was one of Anya’s favorites.

The girl didn’t say anything instead ran off to the kitchen leaving Lexa and the baby as the only ones in the living-room.

“How’s he been?” Clarke asked the brunette as she sat next to the pair on the play mat,

“Good, loving all the attention.” She smiled, “I woke up and you were gone, I thought you were upset with me for a second.”

“I’m not, we’re both doing our best Lex and this little monster is too spoiled, so you were right to be upset. We just have to work out different methods to soothe his little fits.”

“Letting him cry it out isn’t working very well.” She sighed looking at the happy baby sprawled out on the floor,

“We’ll figure it out, let’s go eat.”

* * *

The first time Gustus had suggested they have a dinner on the day Elena passed it turned into a complete disaster. It had only been three years since they had lost her and none of them were dealing with it the best.

Lexa didn’t like thinking about that first dinner much because of how bad she freaked out and because it was the day she relapsed on her drinking. For a year she had been sober and one decision later she was drunk on the beach.

One good thing did come of that day, she had a beautiful blonde princess come and save her. Lexa often accredited that day to the start of her and Clarkes relationship. Of course, they had interactions before, but Clarke had helped her at her lowest and from there everything spiraled all up until now. Eight years later they were engaged with an amazing newborn and everything was good.

She could sit at a table with her family and her favorite picture of her mom and not feel like she was going to die. They all had come a long way from eleven years ago when they lost the most important person in their lives. They would always miss her but together the pain of that loss was manageable.

“Who wants to start this year?” Gustus asked, every year they shared a memory about Elena. It was always fun for Raven and Clarke because they got to hear stories about their partners, and it was therapeutic for three who knew her.

“I’ll go.” Anya volunteered, “When I was fourteen, I got the worst dye job of my life-.”

“Ha I remember that.” Lexa laughed interrupting

“Anyways.” Anya said rolling her eyes, “The hair color was this horrible orange color, and I literally refused to leave the house, so mom took me to a different salon. I remember I was so scared that my hair would be worst, but the woman actually fixed it. For some reason I wanted to be blonde so bad, but I was also so scared, so mom got blonde highlights with me. I told her it was the first time we actually looked alike; I think that’s why she kept it so long.”

“Ah so that’s where we got blonde Anya.” Clarke smiled,

“It was a moment.” She shrugged, “Now I’m back to the dark side.”

“Why did you want to be blonde anyways?” Raven asked,

“She fell into an Avril Lavigne phase.” Lexa answered, “Our rooms were right beside each other and all I would hear all day is the Goodbye Lullaby album on repeat.”

“It was a good album.” Anya defended,

“I to remember the Avril phase.” Gustus grinned, “I also remember buying you a very costly guitar because you wanted to be like Lindsey Lohan in Freaky Friday.”

“Babe, I could so see you in a band.” Raven grinned,

“Yeah, well guitar was hard, and I had a lot going on.”

“You had nothing going on, you were just lazy.” Lexa added,

“Ok what the hell?”

“Quoting Avril, are we?” Clarke smirked as the girl flipped her off,

“Can someone else go instead of laying into me.” Anya scoffed,

“Anya’s had enough embarrassment, so I’ll go.” Gustus smiled, “I always share stories that have all of us in it, but I think today I’ll share how me, and Elena met. It was senior year of college and I was working at this bar.”

“Ooh Gus the bartender, probably pulling all of the ladies.” Raven winked,

“Oh yes, but only that matters.”

“Gross.” Anya murmured,

“Anyways I’m working this one night and it was swamped, finals were finished, and graduation was soon so everyone was celebrating. I’m the only bartender working so I’m running around like crazy but the second my eye caught this beautiful woman walking in with crazy curly hair and huge green eyes I knew I needed to talk to her. I waited the whole night watching her dance around with her friends and then finally I see her walking to the bar. I assume she’s going to order a drink but the moment she reaches the bar she says, ‘You’ve been staring at me pretty much since I walked in the bar so the least you can do is order me a drink.’ And that is the beginning of a love story kids.” He smiled,

“You know she was there on a date, right?” Lexa asked,

“No, she was there with friends.” Gustus corrects,

“It was totally a date.” Anya said, “We’ve heard this story before except you’re the creepy bartender throwing mom weird looks until she finally confronted you. I believe she said it was the bad jokes and the free drinks that saved you because she was prepared to finish her date with the other guy and she didn't even like him much."

“Creep?” Gustus exclaimed, “I was not creepy, and they weren’t weird looks they were sexy gazes!”

“She said her friends were so uncomfortable they were considering talking to your boss.” Lexa laughed,

“Wow, she never told me any of that.” Gustus said, shocked from this new information,

“Bright side is you still got the girl.” Raven said,

“I did.” He smiled,

“She did also say it was one of the best nights of her life.” Lexa added, “She almost turned down the date with the other guy, but she was glad she didn’t because the weird dude at the bar saved her from a horrible date and she met her true love.”

“That’s so sweet!” Clarke acclaimed, “I love that, how we met is boring and our kids won’t be impressed.”

“Well, I can sauce it up by adding how I was the mysterious new girl that you just had to know.” Lexa smirked,

“Sounds like the plot of twilight.” Raven giggled,

“Well let’s scratch what I just said and go with it was love at first sight and you just had to have me.”

“Works for me babe.” Clarke smiled,

“Your turn Lexa.”

Lexa always found it hard to choose just one memory and usually she tried to pick something funny but today she had the perfect one.

“When I was thirteen, I had my first crush, I remember coming home from school really upset and mom stopping me, and she wouldn’t let me go until I told her what was wrong. So, I did I told her that I had a crush on this girl from school and she assumed that the girl didn’t like me back and that was why I was upset. But in reality, I never told the girl and I actually made it a point to stay away from her because I knew I would have to explain my situation and I didn’t want to be rejected. Mom being the wise person she had told me that I couldn’t live that way, that there will always be people who wont except me but there will also be people who will. That if I wanted love when I was older, I had to be open to it and if I was then I would find the perfect person who would except me no questions asked.” Lexa said, turning to Clarke, “She was right of course.”

Clarke smiled squeezing the woman’s hand under the table,

“I love you.”

“Stop before I vomit.” Anya pleaded joking with the pair,

“I love this part of the dinner.” Raven said digging into her food, “It’s nice hearing the stories and seeing how you two never fail to embarrass Anya.”

“It’s like they plan it right?” Anya asks seriously,

“Or you walk right into it.” Lexa smirked,

“Yeah, let’s go with that.” Gustus laughed,

* * *

After dinner Clarke and Raven washed the dishes while the others sat in the living room with the baby. Gus wanted to help but the two girls insisted they all go sit like every year. They wanted to do something and besides the occasional time that Gus would let them help with the food, dishes was their thing.

“So, I was talking to Abby and she didn’t know you were coming here today.” Raven said as she dried the washed dishes,

“I thought they knew; we’re going to take Alix over there tomorrow so I’m sure she’ll be satisfied.”

“Is something up?”

“No, you know mom she like to smother, and I just needed space but I’m going to talk to her tomorrow.”

“Good, Anya told me you and Lexa haven’t been sleeping well so after this you two should head up to bed.”

“After we get Alix down, we will.”

“Clarke I’m sure three adults one whom has raised two kids i'm sure we can manage.”

“Right.” Clarke said remembering they had help,

After they were finished the pair joined the others in the living-room, Clarke and Lexa kissed the baby goodnight before going up to the room to get some well-deserved sleep.

“Today was good.” Clarke said as she changed into an oversized shirt and crawled into Lexa’s waiting arms in the bed,

“It was.” She agreed smiling,

“This bed is the best thing ever I swear.” The blonde moaned as she sunk into the perfect mattress,

“I knew you were with me for my bed.” Lexa smiled, remembering her words from years ago,

“The bed definitely reigned me in, but you Lexa Trikru sealed the deal.” She smirked giving the girl a quick kiss, she couldn’t remember the last time they kissed. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too princess.” She smiled, “Let’s get some rest.”

* * *

The next morning both girls woke feeling a hundred times better and it seem Alix had a good night as well. They ate breakfast with everyone before driving over to Clarke’s parents house so they could see the baby before they drive back to LA.

Clarke had shared the occasional phone call with her mom, and she did apologize for being rude when they were leaving but things were still weird. If Raven’s and Lexa’s situation taught her anything it’s that moms don’t last forever so she needed to cherish all the time she could with both of her parents.

When they arrived, Abby was beyond excited to see them but most of all Alix who she snatched up right away to no one’s surprise.

“I brought lunch from the ark if you guys are hungry.” Jake said giving each girl a hug,

“Thanks dad, it looks very different in here.” Clarke hadn’t been to arkadia since Christmas, so she was very surprised to see all different furniture and décor.

“We wanted to redecorate and Costia offered us quite the deal.” Abby said,

“Costia?” Lexa asked a little surprised to here the name,

“She’s a very good interior designer, Elinor actually suggested her, so we thought why not.”

“I actually saw her yesterday at the ark.” Clarke said in turn remembering her visit with Evelyn and also remembering that someone else paid her a visit.

By the time she zoned back into the conversation Jake and Lexa were talking about realtors and Clarke took this as a good chance to talk to Abby.

She ventured upstairs finding the woman rocking the sleeping baby before lying him in his crib. She knew her parents put in a nursery in her old art room and she loved everything about it. Her paintings still hung but so did other things like block letters spelling the boys name and cute baby decorations.

“It looks so good in here.” Clarke complimented walking around the room, “Thank you for doing this, I’m sure he’ll love having his own room at grandmas and grandpa’s house.”

“You don’t have to thank us Clarke, you’re our only daughter hence why I might be a little overbearing at times. I just want to be here for you, and it kills me that I can’t do that from hours away.”

“You’ve helped us so much already mom even from here, I’m sorry for being a bitch to you when you left a few weeks ago. You didn’t deserve it.”

“It’s fine Clarke, I know you think I smother you even before the baby, so I’ll step back but I’m always here and more than willing to help.”

“I know and we honestly couldn’t have survived those first few weeks without you guys.”

“You could’ve, both of you are great mothers” Abby smiled, “Alixander is very lucky.”

“Speaking of mothers.” Clarke said, it was the perfect segue “On a whim I went to see Evelyn yesterday.”

“Oh.” Abby said clearly surprised by her daughter’s words,

“It was completely stupid, and I had no clue what I was even going to say to her. I ran into Costia and we started talking about Raven and I just wanted her mom to know all that she missed out on. When I got there, she said you had also visited.”

“I did.” The older woman nodded, “It was when we got back from LA a few weeks ago. We had dinner with Raven and Anya before going back to Arkadia and when we were leaving, I asked her about her mom and she said, ‘my mom’s right in front of me.’.” Abby smiled, “Her opening up about Evelyn is rare but I wanted to make sure she was ok and to my surprise she actually opened up to me. The way she grew up because of that woman is not ok and I hate that such a sweet person had to go through that. So, on a whim as well I went over there, and I wasn’t very nice. I do wish I had been calmer, but I wanted her to know that her daughter deserved so much more than she got and to summarize I told her she deserved to die alone.” Abby said, “I’m not happy with my choice of words but it was the heat of the moment and what’s done is done.”

“Does Raven know?”

“I didn’t tell her, and I don’t think I will.”

Clarke nodded understandably; Raven was doing good there was no point in telling her.

For the rest of the day the group spent the majority of the time just lying around the house. Once Alix was up from his nap, he spent his time with Abby and Jake while Clarke and Lexa decided to watch a movie.

Clarke had no clue what movie they were watching, and she didn’t care, she was in Lexa’s arms and truly relaxed for the first time in weeks and that’s all she cared about. It had only been a month since Clarke had given birth and since recovery usually lasted a little longer, she wasn’t allowed to do much. No working out but more importantly no sex, sure they could do some things, but she wanted it all.

She was going crazy because Lexa always looked so amazing and she wanted nothing more than to lock her in their bedroom all night but alas she can’t.

“What are you thinking about princess?” Lexa asks, stroking the blonde hair that was laid across her lap,

“Nothing, just how I have a few more weeks of recovery.”

“I’m sure you can’t wait to start working out.”

Clarke chuckled sitting up and straddling the woman,

“I miss more than working out commander.” She smirked kissing the woman lightly, “I miss having you in my mouth and having you inside of me.” She whispered,

“Just a few weeks baby.” Lexa chuckled wrapping her hands around the blonde’s waist,

“That’s so long though.” The blonde pouted causing Lexa to laugh again,

“I’ll make it worth it.”

“Ooh, intriguing!” Clarke smirked, the moment was soon interrupted by the blonde’s phone, “It’s Anya, her and Raven are probably going back to LA.” Clarke said before answering the phone,

“Hello?”

“Clarke, you guys haven’t left, yet have you?” Anya asked,

“No, we’re still at mom and dad’s what’s up?” Clarke knew Anya’s voice, and something was off,

“Costia just called Raven, her mom passed away a few hours ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last update of 2020 i wanted to get it up because there are some things i wanted to say. This is the first new story that i've written for Clexa in four years and the support and love you guys gave me when i started because of you is incredible. Obviously a lot of us were not great, quarantine did nothing good for my mental health but writing this story gave me something to look forward to when i woke up. I know i'm not the best writer but seeing people actually like anything i write warms my heart beyond explanation and i want you guys to know you are a huge reason the end of 2020 was enjoyable for me. Thank you reading and commenting and for the kudos! i can't wait to continue this story and my other ones as well because Clexa can never die and i plan to write these stories for as long as humanly possible:):)
> 
> If you guys are celebrating the new year tonight be safe and have fun and i hope it's amazing! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!


	8. In Remembrance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter but i wanted to give Raven some closure and i feel like this chapter did that. Death is hard and people handle it differently i hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
> 
> sorry for mistakes i'm learning that when i'm typing i say the words out loud but won't actually type them so i'm trying to not do that anymore lol

_**Love and death are the two great hinges on which all human sympathies turn.**_

_**-B. R. Hayden** _

Death is something Clarke doesn’t have much experience with, she still had both parents and all four grandparents. She never been to a funeral and grief of a lost love one is something she has had the pleasure of not having to feel.

The same couldn’t be said for the people she loved, their lives had been riddled with loss and grief. They knew what it was to lose someone indefinitely and even though she had never felt that she would do whatever it took to help them through it.

Now it was the day of Evelyn’s funeral and the only thing on Clarkes mind was Raven. From the moment she got the call from Anya she was by her friend’s side. On the outside she was fine, the first night Clarke held her while she cried but by the second day it was like she was void of all emotion. She had started helping her aunt Elinor with the funeral and even volunteered to speak which surprised everyone. No one knew what she would say or even what she could say, to Clarkes knowledge they have no good memories together and the woman had no redeeming qualities. But if this is what Raven needed to grieve and move on then she would support her.

“Alix is being fussy, so Abby and Jake volunteered to stay home with him.” Lexa told Clarke who was slipping into her dress.

“That’s probably best.”

“How’s Raven?” Lexa asks as she zipped the back of the blonde’s dress,

“I have no clue.” Clarke said exhaustedly, “She says she fine and I don’t know if that’s true or not but I’m trying to let Anya be there for her. The first couple of days I sort of took the reins so I’m trying to give them space, but I’m still worried about her.”

“She’ll be ok, she has all of us to help her get through it.”

“I know.” Clarke murmured; she was still worried but what was important now was getting Raven through the funeral.

* * *

They arrived at the graveyard where the service was taking place in no time. Raven and Anya were already there so Clarke decided she should greet Elinor before finding them.

“Clarke it’s so good to see you.” Elinor smiled hugging the blonde, “Abby showed me pictures of your little one he’s adorable.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I appreciate that.” She smiled,

Clarke didn’t even know what was appropriate to say in this case, on one hand they did lose someone in their family but on the other hand Evelyn vocally disliked all of them and she was sure the feeling was mutual.

“This is my fiancé Lexa Trikru.” Clarke introduced,

“Hi Lexa, it’s good to meet you.”

“You too Mrs. Lopez.”

“The service should be starting soon.” The woman said before going to greet the other guest. There were a lot which surprised no one, the Reyes name means money and power and those are two things the people of Arkadia respect even if they don’t like the people behind it.

Clarke watched Raven from a far and she seemed to be doing ok, no tears or hard looks to her surprise there was even a smile. Once she was done talking to someone most likely giving their condolences the blonde took the opportunity to talk to her friend.

“Hey.” Clarke said getting the brunette’s attention,

“I expected something grander.” Raven said looking around at everything, “But my aunt said this is what she wanted so.”

“Have you decided what you’re going to say?”

“A part of me wants to say the truth but the other part doesn’t feel like it’s worth it.” Raven admitted, “I think the reason I even volunteered was because I wanted everyone to know who Evelyn was, but they already do and there’s no use now. She was terrible but she was still a person and I can’t get up there and say all the horrible things I feel. In all honesty I feel like she died the day I left eight years ago, and I tried so hard to get over that so how the hell did I end up here?” she huffed, wiping some stray tears from her cheeks, “When Costia first called me I cried, and I thought it was for her, but as the days go by, I’m learning it was for me. For everything she did and everything I missed out on all because she was uncapable of loving me. I think this whole time I’ve been crying for me, is that selfish?”

“If it is then you deserve to be a little selfish with her.” Clarke wiped the girls face before grabbing her hands, “Today you get to leave everything she ever did to you here and never look back. You get to live, and you get to do it any way you want, the way you’ve always deserved.”

Raven nodded wrapping her arms around the girl, growing up the Griffins were her rock. She honestly believes it’s the only reason she is even alive, they saved her and for years she’s lived with anger and resentment for her mom but being here at her funeral is the first time she realized she didn’t have to anymore.

“I need to tell you something.” Clarke hesitated, the last thing she wanted to do was give Raven doubts, but she deserves to know.

“What is it?” raven asked

“The day we had dinner at Gustus’s I went to see Evelyn, it was impulsive and stupid, but I went.” Clarke couldn’t tell if Raven was upset but she knew she was waiting for a further explanation, “I didn’t know what I was going there to say until I got there but I don’t regret going. I wanted her to realize how special you are and all that she missed. I wanted her to know she can’t break you because you’re so much better than her. To be honest I expected nothing more than a snide comment and an insult but that wasn’t what happened. She told me that her mom hated her, and she projected that on you, it’s no excuse but she did say she regretted it and that she reads about you in articles related to your job. I’m not excusing anything she’s done to you because she was horrible, but I felt like I needed to tell you that.”

“She said that?” Raven whispered,

Clarke nodded, “I just wish she had said it to you.”

“I wish she had done a lot of things.” Raven huffed; this was a lot to take in today “You went there to gloat?” Raven said slightly smiling

“I was bragging about my amazing best friend because she’s awesome and I’ll shout it from the rooftops if I have to.” Clarke smiled, bringing the girl in for another hug

“Have I mentioned how happy I am to have met you?”

“Once or twice.”

“Now I definitely don’t know what I’m going to go up there a say.” Raven sighed,

“Funerals aren’t for the dead.” Anya interrupted, joining the girls “They’re for the living, so whatever you say shouldn’t be for your mom it should be for you. Whatever will give you peace is all that matters.”

“Did you speak at your mom’s funeral?” Raven asked her girlfriend, who shook her head

“No, I could’ve but Lexa needed it more she wasn’t there when our mom died and unlike her I got to have my last conversation so I told Lexa she should use the funeral as hers.” Anya said,

“You don’t have to do this Raven.” Clarke reminded the girl, the turmoil on her face was clear but she knew the brunette wouldn’t back down and when Costia came over to tell them it was starting Raven said she was fine to do it.

The three girls made their way to the seats where everyone else had already taken theirs.

A preacher spoke for a while before a few different speakers said a few things, Clarke recognized the first one as Raven and Costia’s grandparents. She had only seen them once and Raven wasn’t close with them assumably because of Evelyn.

Clarke was surprised by the older couples’ words since her visit made it seem like Evelyn wasn’t close to her parents. There were a lot of loves and cry’s and all of it felt forced. It was clear as day that they were in fact not sad about their daughter’s death instead this was nothing more than an appearance for them. Seeing their behavior made her wonder if Evelyn really was a product of her own environment.

After the show that the Elder Reyes’s put on it was finally time for Raven to speak and when the girl made it up there Clarke could tell she was freaking out.

“Uh, hi I’m Raven Reyes Evelyn’s daughter but most of you know that.” She mumbled shaking her head, she couldn’t do this.

Raven’s eyes found Clarke and the blonde knew what she needed so she turned to Anya,

“Go up there.” She whispered,

“She’s clearly looking to you.” Anya said not wanting to upset Raven clearly Clarke is the person she needs,

“She needs you, so go.” Clarke insisted and finally the other woman got up from her seat and joined her girlfriend behind the podium.

“Is she ok?” Lexa whispered to the blonde,

Clarke watched as Raven physically relaxed when Anya joined her grabbing her hand and whispering something no one else could hear.

“She’s fine.” Clarke smiled,

“I know most of you knew Evelyn and maybe even some of you were friends, but I unfortunately didn’t know her very well. When I agreed to do this speech, I had no clue what I would say but sitting here and listening to all that’s been said today I think I know exactly what I want to say. It’s no secret what my relationship was with Evelyn and I think it would be unproductive to pretend we were close because we weren’t. Growing up I never understood why she was the way she was but being here today I know exactly why. Much like me she didn’t have the parental love that she deserved but unlike me she didn’t have the luxury to find that love somewhere else.” Raven could see her grandparents seething at her words, but she didn’t care, and she had nothing to lose, “I wish she had because maybe things would’ve been different for us, but they weren’t and that’s ok.”

“So even though I could stand up here and tell a million sad stories, I’m going share a story that I’m choosing to remember over all of the sad ones.” Raven said before continuing. “When I was six, I broke my arm because some stupid boy at the park pushed me off the top of the slide.” Raven eyed Bellamy, the boy in question who was sitting with Octavia and Lincoln a couple rows back, “It hurt a lot and I remember being scared that they would call my mo- call Evelyn because I didn’t want her to be mad but when she arrived, she wasn’t mad at all. We went to the hospital and after I got my cast, she took me for ice cream. We sat at Skai beach and she told me about the time she broke her arm and I remember actually being excited for that because we finally had something in common.” She said smiling sadly,

“But we sat the beach for a few hours, and it was first good time we had together, that day I saw a different side of her that I wish I could’ve saw more of. So now I just want to say to Evelyn that I forgive you and that I’m sorry for our last conversation and I wish things could’ve been better for us. I’d like to think in another world we could’ve had a happier life together and things could be perfect and maybe my words here today could’ve been different. But I want you to know that I’m choosing to leave here today not remembering the bad just the small amount of good.”

After the funeral, the small group waited as Raven talked with some of her other family members. All of them thought her speech was good, better than what Evelyn deserved and definitely better than the other ones that were given. Her grandparents on the other hand were livid and refused to talk to the brunette all together which she didn’t mind one bit. Evelyn’s toxic behavior wasn’t the only thing she was leaving her today.

“Did you really push her?” Lexa asked Bellamy who rolled his eyes,

“It was an accident!” he defended, “And since we’re going to place blame, I only knocked into Raven because Octavia pushed me.”

“Ok, that did not happen.” Octavia intervened, “I was running by and I told you to move.”

“They’re going to be arguing about this for a while.” Clarke smiled, “You just sparked a twenty-year-old debate.”

“How about we chalk it up to an accident.” Lexa suggested which seemed to get the siblings to let it go,

“I think that works for everyone, even though we know who’s to blame.” Raven smile joining the group, “Ready to go?”

* * *

Abby and Jake volunteered to cook everyone dinner since this was likely everyone’s last night in Arkadia before going home to LA. Having everyone together was always nice and more than anything they wanted to surround Raven with love to help her get through the day.

When they returned from the funeral Clarke went to relieve her parents from baby duty while Lexa took Nova for a walk. Since Octavia and Lincoln were watching her, they no choice but to bring her but no one minded, Nova was an angel.

“There’s my baby boy.” Clarke chimed leaning down to pick the little guy up from his crib, “Did you have a good nap?”

“You know they can’t talk back, yet right?” Anya said causing the blonde to jump,

“Jesus Anya!”

“In my defense I wasn’t even trying to scare you.” The older woman said as she joined the blonde and the babbling baby, “He looks just like Lexa.”

“I know.” Clarke grinned,

“Do you think she’ll be ok?” Anya murmured still looking at small bundle in the blonde’s arms,

“Raven is strong.” Clarke smiled, “Plus she has you and all of us so in time I do think she’ll be ok.”

Anya nodded; she knew Raven was strong her only worry was that the girl would push away like in the past.

“Don’t be scared to voice your concerns to her Anya.” Clarke said practically reading the woman’s mind, “Come on, let’s go eat.”

* * *

After dinner Clarke found Raven sitting by the pool holding a huge envelope in her hands and a small bottle of vodka beside of her.

“What are we celebrating?” Clarke asks sitting beside the girl. She didn’t look sad, but she also didn’t look distinctly happy.

“Didn’t you hear, I’m the new lady of Alpha Parkway now.” Raven handed her the envelope before taking a drink from her bottle.

Clarke opened the packet taking the thick stack of papers in her hands, most of the words were legal junction but one thing was clear as day and that was the amount of zeros at the bottom of the page.

“Holy shit.” Clarke murmured, realizing what this was “She left you everything.”

“The house, the cars, vacation homes in Bali, England and Florence and not to mention all of her money.”

“Wow.” Was all Clarke could say, she knew Ravens family was rich, but this was an insane amount of money written on this page and that was only one account.

“She wrote me a letter, apparently she read about one of my projects and how we had to shut it down due to low funding.”

“You mean your dream project?” Clarke asks, she remembers how devastated the girl was when she learned that company was cutting the project due to no one wanting to fund it.

“With the amount of money on this paper I could do that project ten times over.” Raven took another drink before laughing a little, “You should’ve seen my grandparent’s face when the lawyer read her will. If I wasn’t so shell shocked, I might’ve laughed. They want to contest it; they claim I coerced her on her death bed to sign everything to me.”

“Are they fucking kidding?” Clarke shouted, “God they’re the worst.”

“Tell me something I don’t know” she chuckled, “Elinor was not having it though, she pretty much told them to go to hell, and firecracker Costia used a few choice words as well. All in all, the lawyer told them her will was written a year ago when she first found out she was sick, so she wasn’t under duress or coercion as they so kindly put it. With there being no case I guess I’m a billionaire now.” She sighed, taking another sip

“What will you do with it?”

“I can barley be in that house so I’m going to sell it, I’m keeping the Range Rover because obviously.” She smiled, “I already signed one account over to Elinor and Costia and I want to share the vacation homes with them. And lastly, I signed a million check over to Abby and Jake, I know they won’t accept it, so I need your help, but I want them to have it. It would’ve been so easy for me to turn into Evelyn but because of the way you guys welcomed me into your family i know I'll never be anything like her and I know that’s something I’ll never be able to repay but I’m so happy to have you guys.”

“We’re your family, you don’t have to repay us for anything we love you unconditionally and we always will.”

“Don’t make me cry.” Raven wined nudging the laughing girl,

“You know you’re a far cry from the sassy little five-year-old I remember meeting the first day of kindergarten.” Clarke smiled pulling the woman into her arms,

“Still sassy maybe less angry.”

“Definitely less angry.” Clarke agreed, “Meeting you changed my life and I’m so glad I did. I’m beyond proud of you Raven and I always will be.”

“I'm proud of you too Clarke." she smiled, "You were right, this is the end of something. I’m really glad it’s the end and I’m glad to have you here with me to celebrate that.” She took a long swing from her bottle before motioning it towards the blonde who shook her head,

“Breastfeeding.”

“Right, I’ll just have to drink for you.” She smirked, “Now I think we both have some very attractive sisters upstairs waiting for us.”

“That we do indeed.” Clarke smirked helping the girl up, “I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t mind celebrating.”

“Mhmm, you’re so right hope you brought some ear plugs I’d hate to keep you up all night.”

“No ear plugs but I do have a one-month-old who will scream the block down if anyone decides to interrupt his sleep.”

“Right.” Raven says dragging out the word, “We’ll keep it down.”

“That’s probably best.”

After escorting a slightly tipsy Raven to her old room Clarke made her way to her own where half asleep Lexa awaited.

Clarke quietly slipped a night shirt on before climbing into her fiancé’s awaiting arms hearing the older woman sigh in relief. Seeing how adorable Lexa looked when she was asleep made her heart flutter and she couldn’t resist the urge to kiss those pouty lips she adored so much.

“What was that for?” Lexa mumbled, her eyes still closed but a small smiled on her face,

“Nothing, I just love you.”

“I love you too.” Lexa smiled pulling the blonde closer and drifting back into her slumber leaving an infatuated Clarke to her thoughts.

Looking around her old room she couldn’t help but reminisce on all the moments her and Lexa shared here. The beginning of their relationship was spent in these walls and now all these years later they were back, but everything was different. They weren’t just a couple teens in love, they were engaged with a baby and a puppy. They had their dreams jobs and an amazing life and if someone told Clarke this is where she would be when she first met Lexa, honestly, she would’ve believed it. From the beginning their love for each other was strong and different from anything she’s ever felt, and she knew she was never letting that go. Her and Lexa were forever and laying in her arms right now with their baby in the next room sound asleep she too felt like she had something to celebrate tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ravens family sucks but it's ok because she's got some amazing ass friends who will pick her up when she's down!  
> The next chapter will be a fun one, and soon we'll get into wedding planning and cute moments with Alix and puppy Nova! Lot's of cute shit coming up and a very big wedding is in the works.


	9. Mom's Night Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for mistakes

“Lexa it’s going to be fine, it’s only for the weekend.”

It was Friday night and Clarke and Lexa just arrived back home after dropping Alix off in Arkadia for some time with his grandparents. They hadn’t seen him in since Christmas which was a couple months ago.

Alix’s first Christmas went amazingly not that he knew the difference, but his moms definitely enjoyed dressing him up in cute elf onesies and parading him around town just to show off how cute he was. Christmas had also marked the one-year anniversary of Clarke and Lexa’s engagement which they celebrated well into the morning. But since Christmas they hadn’t had much alone time or just a small parenting break and they both desperately needed it. 

Luckily, February marked more than just the celebration of love, it was also Anya’s birthday, and she was having a party at Purgatory which gave them a good excuse to go out and it would all be fine if Lexa wasn’t having some attachment issues about not seeing Alix for a couple of days. This would be the longest they hadn’t seen the little boy since his birth 5 months ago and the brunette was kind of freaking out.

“He had a cough when we dropped him off, what if he’s sick?” Lexa said as she paced their bedroom,

“My mom’s a doctor if you haven’t forgotten.” Clarke smiled grabbing the woman causing her to stop her scattered movements, “And he’s not sick Lexa he literally just had his 5-month checkup yesterday they said he was fine.”

“But what if he misses us?” she whispered,

“He’ll be fine, I promise.” Clarke assured, “Can we just try to enjoy tonight, it’s your sister’s birthday and our first night alone since I gave birth.”

Clarke had been cleared for all and any activity a few months ago but her and Lexa still hadn’t done anything more than the occasion make out session and she was dying. Sure, there was their Christmas sex marathon but that was months ago, and she needed more.

She loved Alix more than anything, but he was such a cockblock, anytime the two woman got a moment alone he demand attention which they happily gave but it wasn’t exactly helping their sex life.

In a month Clarke would be going back to work and more than anything she wanted to enjoy what little alone time her and Lexa could have, hence why she was excited about this weekend. Even though every inch of her body wanted to drive back to Arkadia and pick up her little baby she also wanted to try and enjoy the night.

“Please Lex.” She begged, “I’ll get on my knees if I have to.” She smirked seeing the woman roll her eyes, “Maybe you don’t miss me as much as I miss you.”

“I do Clarke.” She defended before sighing, “I just- I’m sorry.”

“I miss him too but it’s just the weekend baby.”

“You’re right.” She huffed wrapping her arms around the shorter girl, “Plus we’d never hear the end of it if we didn’t show up to Anya’s party.”

“Yay!” Clarke cheered giving the girl as kiss before running off to find the perfect outfit. She had lost a few pounds and was back down to her weight before she had Alix which meant she could wear all of her cute clothes.

Luckily, Ardyn had picked up a few new dresses for her because she was planning a date night for her and Lexa, but life got in the way and that never happened.

After combing through her closet for nearly an hour she finally decided on a dark purple bodycon latex dress that hugged her body perfectly. At first glance as she stared at her reflection in the mirror, she felt silly because she was someone’s mom in a skintight dress that left little to nothing up to the imagination. But the more she stared the sexier she felt and that was something she didn’t feel too often these days so she was going to revel in it while she can.

She through some light curls in her hair and light makeup before slipping on some comfortable black heels. Finally, an hour later she left her closet only to find her fiancé half naked trying to decide on which color pants to wear. Lexa’s always been indecisive when it came to choosing clothes something Clarke thought was adorable. The way her face would scrunch up when she was given too many options was a scene that could make even the coldest hearts melt.

“Raven said dress nice, but does that mean dressy nice or casual nice?” Lexa asked after hearing heels click against the hard wood floors. “Or club nice?”

Clarke giggled walking up behind the girl to inspect the options,

“Go with the black pants and a button up, hair down of course.” She smiled,

“What would I do without you.” Lexa smiled turning around actually getting a good view of the blonde and she was speechless. The purple dress was practically molded against the blonde’s body showing off every curve perfectly. “Fuck.”

“Just the reaction I was hoping to get.” Clarke said happily with a smirk watching the brunettes eyes travel every inch of her body, “Looks like someone else likes my outfit too.”

Lexa looked down to her boxers seeing herself grow just at the thought of devouring every inch of her fiancé’s body.

“I can’t help it, my wife to be is so fucking hot the thought of her can make me come.” Lexa smiled snaking her hand around the blonde’s waist and down to her ass giving it a generous squeeze, “You look stunning baby.”

“Thank you, commander, I do feel a little bad for getting you all worked up though.” She smirked, her hand cupping the now obvious bulge in the girl’s boxers “Let me take care of that for you.”

Clarke wasted no time falling to her knees freeing the brunettes straining erection.

“God, I missed you.” She mumbled before running her tongue down the length eliciting a low moan from the brunette,

“We really- uh fuck.” Lexa groaned feeling the blonde’s warm mouth around the head of her throbbing dick, “Raven will kill us if we’re late.”

“Then you better use my mouth quickly commander.” She smirked placing her arms behind her back patiently waiting for Lexa to fuck her mouth.

“God.”

* * *

* * *

They arrived at the club only thirty minutes late, but it was already bustling with people most of which neither girl recognized. Both assumed this would be a private party situation, but it seemed to be a regular business day.

“Ten o’clock means ten o’clock.” Raven said spotting the couple make their way to the bar, “Don’t use Alix as an excuse I know you dropped him off hours ago, so what was it? Let me guess Lexa couldn’t pick a shirt.”

“Sorry Rae but when my woman needs pleasured, I drop everything to do it.” Clarke grinned ignoring the groan from Lexa,

“Oooh, so this means no more trouble in paradise.” Raven smirked,

“Trouble in paradise?” Lexa asks and now it was Clarke’s turn to groan “What does she mean?”

“Nothing.” Clarke sighed throwing a glare at Raven who mumbled something about getting ice and running off,

“That’s not nothing Clarke, you told her we were having problems?” Lexa asks trying to figure out if she did something wrong or if they had a fight she couldn’t remember.

“No Lex, we’re not having problems I was just venting to her about our sex life or lack thereof-.”

“Well, we have a baby and not to mention a dog Clarke I’m sorry I can’t fuck you every second of the day anymore!” she yelled, clearly this hit a nerve and Clarke felt horrible.

“Baby I know, Alix comes first always I was just telling Raven that I missed being intimate with you I wasn’t trying to upset you. We’re still adjusting, and a newborn is a lot of work so I know anything personal takes the backburner, but it doesn’t mean I can’t still miss you.”

Lexa sighed, she overreacted, and she knew it but truthfully, she was missing Clarke just as much. She just hated hearing the trouble associated with their relationship and in all honesty, it scared her. The mere thought that Clarke would say they were having trouble frighten the hell out of her and she never wanted to hear it again.

“I’m sorry for snapping.”

“Don’t apologize.” Clarke murmured standing in between the girl’s legs as she sat on the bar stool,

“I miss being intimate too.”

“Then it’s a good thing we’re in a club full of beautiful women” the blonde said smirking, “Who are you thinking about taking home tonight?”

“There is this blonde.” Lexa says leaning closer into the girl, “Tight purple dress amazing body but she’s way out of my league.”

“I think you’ll find that she would very easily hop in your bed, all you have to do is ask.” She whispered,

“Is that right?” Lexa asks gripping the blonde’s ass tightly, pulling her close so that their fronts were fully pressed against each-other, 

Clarke hums a reply trying to control that wetness that has been gathering in her panties since the moment she had Lexa’s dick in her mouth an hour ago. She wanted nothing more than to lock her in any room and fuck her brains out and she was almost tempted until a voice interrupted,

“This isn’t a sex club ladies.” Anya said from behind them causing them to break apart,

“Are you sure because there are stripper poles and I see that you started offering private rooms.” Clarke smirked eyeing the birthday girl who just shrugged,

“Stripper poles is child’s play, and the private rooms are for private parties I can’t control what happens back there.”

“Yeah, yeah Happy birthday!” Clarke screamed jumping on the girl giving her a big hug, “How’s it feel to be 27?”

“Life threatening.” Anya groaned taking a seat at the bar, “I’m basically 30, which is half of 60 which is-.”

“Ok, no need to spiral.” Lexa interrupted, “30 is young, and you’re barley look 23.”

“Don’t flatter me.” She sighed before smiling, “Ok maybe flatter me a little.”

“You’re a 27-year-old entrepreneur who owns and runs a successful night club in LA! You’re hot as hell and you know it so enough with the pity party and let’s get to the actual party.” Clarke says waving the bartender over,

“You always know just what to say.” Anya smiled before ordering her drink, “What do you want Lex, an apple juice?”

“I hate you.” Lexa rolled her eyes before turning to the bartender, “I’ll take a coke please.”

“Same.” Clarke chimed before finding her way back into the brunette arms, “So I thought this was a private thing.”

“Raven wanted it to be but it’s business as usual, I did agree to close at midnight so our circle can hang before closing for the night.”

“Sounds like a long night.” Lexa said, at this point she was used to being in bed already or up putting Alix back to bed after a feeding.

“Midnights hardly a long night.” Anya scoffed downing her drink,

“You forget we are two very tired moms, at midnight we’re dead asleep praying for a full night’s rest.” Clarke points out,

“Well not tonight, so take advantage of it grandma’s.” Octavia said joining the three girls Lincoln close behind, “Clarke looking hot, Lexa looking very daddyish.”

“Isn’t she.” Clarke grinned at her handy work, the outfit was simple just black pants and a black button down with only a couple buttons done showing off a little cleavage and taste of her toned stomach,

“I’m going to go throw up now.” Anya groaned standing from her chair and walking to the back,

“Happy Birthday!” Octavia called but the girl was gone, “Seriously though Clarke you look hot as fuck, definitely a milf!”

“That I can agree with.” Lexa whispered in the blonde’s ear pulling her closer,

“You look equally as hot O.” Clarke smiled feeling warm kisses being planted down her neck,

“Alright break it up you two.”

“Remind me why we came again.” Lexa whispered into the blonde’s neck,

“It’s your sister birthday and we love her.”

“Right, and Raven threatened us if we didn’t show and she’s scary.”

“That too but mostly the first reason.” The blonde smiled,

For the majority of the night Lexa and Clarke stayed at the bar talking and occasionally making out before Raven dragged them out onto the dance floor where dances and grinded for what felt like an eternity.

Neither of them had been out in so long and being out like this and it reminded them of their younger years. Not that they were old, they were only 25 going on 26 but they were parents now and it’s a stark comparison to a few years ago when they were in college. Going to parties and dancing in clubs, early twenties behavior.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom.” Clarke whispered in her fiancé’s ear before heading to the back,

There was no way she was waiting in line with the rest of the drunk women, so she snuck into Anya’s office where a private bathroom awaited.

* * *

* * *

When Clarke returned from the bathroom her eyes instantly started searching for Lexa, she wasn’t on the dance floor or with their friends at the booth, after a moment she found the girl at the bar and not alone. A pretty woman with short blonde hair and huge brown eyes seemed to be keeping her company.

The closer she got the more of the conversation she heard, it was adorable how oblivious Lexa could be. You’d think after sleeping around so much in her youth she’d know when women were throwing themselves on her, but she remained clueless majority of the time.

“He’s so cute what’s his name?” the woman asked,

“Alixander.” Lexa smiled and Clarke could see she had a picture of their smiling little boy in his elf pajamas from Christmas.

“Cute name for a cute boy!”

“Thanks, I named him.” Clarke said sliding in between the girl and Lexa, “And birthed him.”

The woman’s eyes went wide before spotting the rings on both Clarke and Lexa’s hands.

“Oh- I.”

“You what?” Clarke interrupted, “Wanted to talk to my wife and discuss being a step mom?”

“Sorry.” The woman murmured before taking her drink and hastily heading back to her friends at the end of the bar,

Clarke couldn’t help but smirk a little bit at the girl’s reaction,

“You didn’t have to scare the poor woman Clarke.” Lexa chuckled seeing the smug look on her fiancé’s face, “Abby sent some pictures earlier, so I was looking at them while i waited for you, she said he was cute.”

“You’re so naive it’s cute.” Clarke smiled kissing her cheek before sitting beside her, “Seeing her flirting with you reminded me of Cancun.”

“Mhm, except that ended very differently.”

“Yes, Scarlett was definitely way more alluring than whatever the shameless blonde was who was just trying to steal you from me.”

“She couldn’t steal me from you if she tried my love, and her name wasn’t Scarlett it was Sophie.”

“No Lex, it was Scarlett. I think I’d know.” She said leaning into the brunette ear “I was moaning it quite a lot that night.”

* * *

* * *

**_ JUNIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE SPRING BREAK CANCUN _ **

_It was their last night Mexico before they went back to California and some locals they met had invited to a party on the beach. Clarke and Lexa weren’t going to go but after practically being dragged out of their room by Octavia and Raven they had no choice._

_To be fair the party was chill, people were dancing and drinking and laughing but their room was empty, and Clarke wanted nothing more than to lock her and her beautiful girlfriend in it. This was their last night before they went back to school which meant busy schedules. Not that they don’t make time for each other but having Raven and Anya as roommates didn’t really leave much room for being alone. Thankfully, senior year they decided to rent their own apartment but that was a few more months away._

_The beach was filled with people as Clarke and Lexa danced to the fast-paced beat. Clarke’s could feel eyes on her, and it didn’t take long to spot the person who seemed to be watching her._

_Cancun was filled with beautiful women that much was clear but this woman watching her was stunning. Her beautiful dark skin was glowing and being showed off expertly in a bright red bikini top and very short shorts leaving little to the imagination. Her dark hair was in curls around her face and her pouty lips shined with a sparkly gloss._

_Clarke couldn’t lie something about the way this woman was staring at her was enticing. Almost by instinct she grabbed Lexa’s hands and dragged them all down her body as she grinded on her to the beat._

_“If you keep doing that, I’m going to drag your ass back to the room and show you what your dancing is doing to me.” Lexa whispered in the blonde’s ear who smirked pushing on the girl harder,_

_“Let’s get a drink.” Clarke suggested throwing her mystery woman a smirk before grabbing Lexa’s hand and dragging her to the bar a few feet away,_

_“Putting on a show?” Lexa asked smugly as they sat an ordered two fruity nonalcoholic drinks._

_“She was staring at us.” Clarke shrugged, “You have to admit she’s hot.”_

_“She’s hot but no one can compare to you in my eyes Clarke.” Lexa said honestly giving the blonde a quick kiss,_

_“Have you ever had a threesome?” Clarke asked causing the brunette to spit some of her water out,_

_“Uhm, honestly?” Lexa said sheepishly rubbing her neck,_

_“Yes, my little former woman whore.” Clarke smiled as Lexa flipped her off,_

_“Once, right before I got sober.” She admitted, “I don’t remember much if I’m being honest.”_

_“Would you ever have one with me?” Clarke asked,_

_“Is this you wanting to, with that girl?”_

_“I never thought that would be something I would do but we’re 21 in Cancun and honestly it sounds like something that would be fun.” She admitted watching Lexa’s reaction but there isn’t really one, “Baby it was just a thought if you don’t want to that’s perfectly ok although I do want you to take me back to our room as soon as possible.”_

_“She’s walking over here.” Lexa says and Clarkes turns to see the woman was in fact walking towards them,_

_“I’ll just be friendly then we can leave.”_

_“Or she can leave with us.” Lexa suggested and Clarke turned her brow quirked and confusion lacing her eyes,_

_“Lex, we don’t have to I was just-.”_

_“What if I want to.” She interrupted, “We’re in Cancun and young and fuck it.”_

_“Just to be clear it’s a one-time thing, after tonight I don’t plan to ever share you again.” Clarke smiled giving the girl a kiss before turning to greet their guest, “Hi beautiful.”_

_“Hi yourself.” She smiled, “I’m Scarlett.”_

_“I’m Clarke, and this is my gorgeous girlfriend Lexa.”_

_“Gorgeous indeed.” Scarlett smirked biting her lip,_

_“God, I love this song.” Clarke smiled turning to Lexa, “Babe let’s dance.”_

_“Of course.” Lexa smiled standing up, “Scarlett we’d love it if you joined us, right baby?”_

_Clarke nodded holding out her hand which the woman eagerly took it and the next thing she knew her Scarlett and Lexa were dancing not very innocently to a daddy yankee song._

_Clarke was dancing on Scarlett who was dancing on Lexa and their friends were looking at them very confused. It wasn’t until Scarlett felt something big poking at her that things heated up. No one knew when or how but they ended up stumbling into their room and into a very fascinating night._

* * *

* * *

**_ PRESENT _ **

“Is this you saying you want a repeat?” Lexa asked curiously,

“Like I said I’m never sharing you again.” She said pulling Lexa in for a sweet kiss, “It was a fun night though.”

“I KNEW IT!” Raven yelled scaring both woman to death, “I told Anya you two slept with that woman.”

“Who said we slept with her?” Lexa smirked taking a sip of her coke,

“Don’t even.” Raven pointed,

Both Clarke and Lexa laughed, it had been a mystery for years about what exactly happened that last night in Cancun. Everyone saw the way they were dancing with Scarlett and saw them disappear together, but Lexa and Clarke never spilled the details. It was fun and they never saw her again it was just that simple.

“At least tell me if it was good.”

“Why thinking of giving Anya a little surprise.” Clarke smirked,

“They couldn’t handle me if they tried.” Anya said joining the group,

“Damn right baby.” Raven smiled wrapping her arms around the woman,

“We’ll leave the threesomes to you two.” Anya winked, “I told Emily to shut it down early tonight.”

“You told Emily huh.” Raven retorted,

“Don’t even start, everyone should be out soon.” Anya said before walking behind the bar and helping the others clean,

“And who is Emily?” Clarke asked,

“Her bartender who shamelessly flirty with her clueless ass.”

“That must be a Trikru family trait, oblivious to woman who shamelessly flirt with them.” Clarke added and Lexa rolled her eyes,

An hour later the bar was empty except for the core group, which was Clarke, Lexa, Anya, Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln since they were the only one in their friend group who live in LA and could be there.

“Group shot.” Raven announced passing around glasses with flavored vodka pre poured into them, “Yours has sprite Lex.”

“You could’ve just not poured me anything.” Lexa says but accepts the glass,

“Can’t leave you out of a group shot.” Raven says as if it’s obvious, “Anyways happy birthday baby.”

“Happy birthday Anya!” they cheered to the girl’s dismay,

“Now gifts your favorite part.”

“Yes please.” The birthday girl grinned,

“Me first.” Clarke said excitedly reaching into her clutch bag for an envelope and handing it to the excited girl,

“A little light.” Anya says opening it and pulling out two tickets, “You didn’t!”

“My bank account would beg to differ.”

“What is it?” Raven asked trying to read the small papers,

“VIP tickets to fucking Coachella!” Anya yelled, “Avril is going to be there.”

“I know, it’s why I got them plus I knew how bad you’ve wanted to go. Lexa’s gift coincides.” Clarke said nudging her fiancé,

“My gift is something you’ll have to pick up.” Lexa smiled,

“What are you talking about?” Clarke turned to her, “You were supposed to rent a cute little beach house remember? We literally talked about this ten times.”

“Oh.” Lexa said ignoring the glare Clarke was currently giving her, “So I forgot all about that, but we can still do that-.”

“You don’t know that Lexa all the young fucking youtubers and teenagers with rich parents are going to snatch all of them up it’s why I asked you to do it-.”

“We can talk about my beach house later what did you get me Lex?” Anya interrupted,

“Right, as I was saying you’ll have to pick it up because it wouldn’t be ready today and I have nothing physical to give you so I’m just going to say it.” Lexa smiled, “For years I’ve had to listen talk about how good you would look in a Mercedes-AMG G-Class SUV.”

“NO!” Anya yelled standing up from her sister,

“But no cutesy bullshit like white it has to be matte black and black interior, that is what you said right?” Lexa asked pulling up a photo on her phone, “My bonus for my next couple of books was way more than I expected and so I thought why not.”

“LEXA!” clear as day the phone showed a matte black g-wagon and a very smug Lexa posing next to it, “It’s official no one can top this.”

“I’d like to try.” Raven said standing from her seat, “You will have to endure a speech first though. So usually, I talk way too much and always know what to say but right now I’m a little nervous.” She laughed, taking Anya’s hands into her own, “I know I haven’t been the easiest girlfriend to have but for nine years you have been my saving grace. I met you after dating this total fucking idiot and you were exactly what I needed. You saw me for who I was almost instantly, and I’ve never felt anything like that before. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, you’re funny and smart and even though you can’t cook or even make toast I love you so much and those six months away from you were the worst days of my life. And it taught me that I never want to live life without you in it.” She took a deep breath before digging into her bag and pulling out a small box,

“Rae.” Anya gasped seeing a huge diamond sparkling in the middle of the box,

“Without you my life is meaningless Anya, I promise I will do everything humanly possible to give you the best life I can. You’re everything to me so will you please do me the honor and say yes to becoming my wife?”

“Baby Yes!”

Raven was a crying mess and so was Anya and everyone else in the room as the two kissed.

“I hate you so much for making me cry in front of these people.” Anya murmured into the brunette’s neck,

“You love me, and these people are our family Anya.” She laughed,

“I know it’s so embarrassing.” She groaned,

“Did you know?” Lexa whispered to a shocked and crying Clarke,

“I had no clue.” Clarke replied watching two of the most important people in her life kiss and hug, Anya’s smile was huge, and Clarke couldn’t help but smile at it. Raven was her sister, but so was Anya and seeing them both so happy after all they’ve been through is the best thing, she could hope for them.

“Wait, I forgot!” Anya said wiping her face and running towards her office and leaving everyone confused,

“What the hell just happened?” Raven mumbled, but a second later Anya came running back in with a box of her own, “Anya?”

“I bought this ring a year ago but since the moment I saw you I knew I would marry you.” She smiled revealing a gold incrusted ruby ring,

“That I did know about.” Clarke whispered, she picked that ring and the look on Raven’s face told her she did well.

“I love you so fucking much.” Raven said melting into the woman’s arms and lips,

“Well Congratulations you two!” Octavia yelled clapping, “It’s official I’m going to be the last to get married even though my relationship outlives all of yours.”

“How about another shot?” Lincoln suggested pouring himself drink,

Many drinks were poured and more celebrating ensued until it was midnight and Anya announced they were closed, and she had a fiancé to take home. No one minded especially Clarke who had been trying to find an excuse to leave all night because Lexa looked amazing as usual and she was horny as fuck and she couldn’t bare hiding it anymore.

Hell, she could barely keep her hands to herself on the drive home so when they finally got inside, she went straight upstairs ignoring Nova desperate cries for cuddles and into her closet, she had a little surprise of her own.

* * *

* * *

Lexa had no clue what was happening as Clarke rushed inside their house ordering her to wait in the bedroom. She did as she was told though figuring it would be worth the wait. She took off her shoes and unbutton her shirt all the way before laying on the bed.

Twenty minutes later and Lexa was starting to worry,

“Baby?” she yelled,

“One second.”

Instantly Lexa could tell something was off just by hearing the blondes voice, so she walked to the bathroom where the closet connected and knocked on the door,

“What’s wrong Clarke?”

“Nothing I’m fine just go back to the bedroom.” She yelled, but Lexa wasn’t buying it, so she opened the door walking into a surprise indeed. “Lexa, I said go.” She cried grabbing her robe to cover herself, she was dressed In a lacy red lingerie set that fit her perfectly.

“Baby why are you crying?” Lexa rushed to the blonde immediately wrapping her arms around the woman, “Talk to me.”

“I wanted to surprise you.” She sighed, “Me and Ardyn picked this out the other day and I just put it on and there’s a mark I’ve never seen before and- god I feel so disgusting Lexa! I had a baby and my body-.”

“Is perfect.” Lexa interrupts grabbing the woman’s face, “You gave birth to our amazing little boy and your body has never looked more amazing. You’re perfect and I love every inch of you, and I will tell you every single day until you love it too.”

“God, I love you.” Clarke said crying into Lexa’s shoulder, “I’m still getting used to this I mean my stomach has marks and my boobs are huge like huger than before.”

“You still haven’t said anything bad.” Lexa smirked,

“I’m leaking.” Clarke added, “My boobs never stop leaking I mean how do I even stop that! Not to mention the constant soreness. I just wanted to put on something sexy and enjoy our night together and I’m so sorry for ruining it.”

“You haven’t ruined anything baby, I’m glad you’re sharing these feelings with me. I know how hard your body worked to get our baby boy here and I know it’s still working and you’re doing so great. I will kiss every mark on your body and message every sore spot for the rest of my life to make it all better.”

“Is there any way you can go back to the room and act like this didn’t happen so I can make an entrance?” Clarke asked wiping her tears,

“Yes, but only if you remember what I said.” Lexa smiled peppering kisses along the blonde’s jaw,

“I will.” She smiled,

* * *

* * *

Lexa waited on the bed for a few more minutes before she heard the door open revealing Clarke shyly standing by the door. Lexa could see her hesitation, so she stood and walked over pulling her into a searing kiss. Her hands found the ties to the robe slowly feeling Clarke tense when it fell to the floor.

She stepped back admiring how the red lace gripped and hugged Clarkes curves perfectly.

“Fuck baby.” Lexa muttered taking in the sight before picking her up and carrying her to the bed, “You’re body is so fucking perfect, and I plan on worshiping it all night until you pass out.”

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be seducing you, you know?” Clarke said moaning as the brunette’s lips kissed down her chest,

“Tonight, I want you to sit back and let me take care of you.” Lexa whispered against her skin before pulling back admiring how amazing the blonde looks sprawled out on their bed. She notices the marks Clarke mentioned on her stomach, they weren’t big, but she knew how she felt about them, so she started peppering kisses all over them.

She kissed every inch of milky white skin before finally making her way to her fiancés already drenched folds. Thankfully, Clarke went with a crotchless bodysuit, less to remove.

Slowly she ran her tongue through the wetness savoring the sweet tangy taste she missed dearly.

“I missed tasting you baby.” She moaned lightly running her tongue over the hardening little bud causing the blonde to jump,

“No teasing please.” Clarke begged, pushing the brunettes head down towards her wet center, Lexa didn’t reply instead she gave her what she wanted. “Just like that baby.” Clarke moaned feeling her fiancé’s tongue expertly suck on her sensitive clit while her fingers rut into her entrance fast and hard. “God Lexa!”

“Come for me baby.” Lexa mumbled against her sensitive bud, her fingers still fucking into her, she loved pleasuring Clarke, but this outfit combined with how wet the blonde was, was driving her insane.

A gush of hot wetness covered her fingers as Clarke shook around them slowly coming down from her high.

“Your mouth is amazing.” She smiled pulling the brunette into a deep kiss tasting herself, “Please fuck me.”

“Anything you want princess.” Lexa smirked throwing her wrinkled dress shirt to the floor and making quick work of getting rid of her pants and compression shorts letting her fully hard dick spring free. If she was being honest, she had been hard most of the night thanks to the impromptu blowjob, sexy dancing at the club and of course just looking at how amazingly gorgeous her soon to be wife was.

Clarke moaned feeling Lexa run her hard on through her wet folds getting it nice and wet before pushing every inch inside without warning causing the blonde to yelp.

“Fuck!” she gasped feeling herself stretch as Lexa’s thrusts became regular, 

If there was anything that their Christmas sex marathon taught Clarke it was how sensitive she was after having a baby. The slightest touch and she felt like she was going to come. The feeling of her fiancé’s huge dick pounding into her has always been amazing but post pregnancy it was fucking phenomenal. Every thrust felt like she was discovering a new sweet spot and she loved every minute of it.

“You always fuck me so good baby.” Clarke moaned as she watched the brunette disappear into her with every stroke, “Fuck I’m going come so hard!”

“Mhmm, please come all over my dick baby.”

The brunette’s words combined with the overwhelming pleasure of Lexa ramming into her, she knew she wouldn’t last much longer but she wanted Lexa to come with her. So, she slid the sleeves down to her lacey bodysuit revealing her huge boobs that she knew her fiancé loved so much.

They bounced with every thrust and Clarke lightly plays with her sensitive nipples eliciting a moan that makes Lexa’s eyes go wide. The brunette watched in awe as the blonde’s chest bounced deliciously just inches from her face. Clarke has always has a huge chest but post baby they grew at least a few sizes and Lexa loved it. She knew it was painful for Clarke though so she tried when she could to make them feel better.

“God Clarke you’re driving me crazy.” Lexa groaned as the blonde played with her nipples even taking one in her own mouth which sent Lexa way over the edge causing her to rut into her hard and fast,

“fuck fuck fuck!” Clarke screamed feeling her walls tightening and Lexa hitting her g spot repeated, “I’m gonna come baby!”

“Come for me baby girl.” Lexa moaned feeling her own release building, Clarke walls fluttered around her before she could understand what was happening a huge gush of wetness sprayed all over them as Clarke’s whole body vibrated under her,

“Fuck” Lexa groaned seeing the amazing mess her fiancé just made, “That was so hot baby.”

Clarke was just as shocked since she’s never squirted before but neither of them were complaining. She felt her orgasms subside after a few minutes, so she sat up flipping them over so that she was on top.

“I’m suck your dick and I want you to come all over my boobs.” Clarke graciously took the swollen head into her mouth moaned at her own juices before taking every inch. She knew it wouldn’t take much for the brunette to come so she bobbed her head fast working her tongue along the underside.

Lexa grabbed her head rutting her hip into her mouth eliciting moans and groans as she used the blonde’s mouth. Nothing felt as good as this.

“Fuck Clarke I’m going to come.” Lexa moaned, watched the blonde release her with a pop before her hands stroked and squeezed her until her come sprayed all over her perfect huge tits.

“I can’t believe I squirted.” Clarke smiled running her fingers through the warm come on her chest and licking her fingers clean, “Mhmm.”

“You’re so hot.” Lexa pulled her in kissing her lips clean before flipping the blonde over so that she was on her knees.

“And here I thought you were done. “Clarke smirked pushing her ass into the air as her arms held her up,

“I have plans for you princess and if you’re good they will last all night.” She whispered in her ear before smacking her ass leaving a red mark that she kissed,

“Mhmm, I promise I’ll be good commander.”

“Good.”

* * *

* * *

The next morning Clarke woke up to Nova laying cutely on her feet and the smell of burning filling the room. She didn’t panic or even move to get up, she only chuckled because she knew it was just Lexa attempting to make her breakfast for the hundredth time even though she couldn’t cook. It was cute seeing the brunette run around the kitchen trying to put out smoke alarms and save burnt eggs, but she was ruining the pans and Clarke had to put a stop to Lexa’s attempts to cook. Clearly that ban went out the window today, but Clarke couldn’t be upset, her baby was trying and that’s what counted.

Slowly she got out of bed attempting to not wake Nova, but it was useless, one move of her leg and the puppy was peppering licks all over her face.

“Goodmorning Nova!” she smiled giving her some love before getting out of bed.

Clarke would admit she was nervous about how Nova would react to Alix once he was born but the moment, she saw the little boy she fell in love. She never gets rough with him and always sleeps by his crib protectively every night to the point where they had to move her bed in there. Luckily, Alix loved her just as much, so it worked out perfectly.

After using the bathroom and doing her morning routine Clarke threw on her robe before deciding it was time to save the poor woman downstairs.

“Come on Nova, we gotta stop your mama from burning our house down.”

As soon as she entered the kitchen, she could see Lexa mixing something in a bowl that she assumed wouldn’t be edible. Her brows were furrowed, and she looked super focused on the task. Clarke pulled out her phone taking a few pictures before walking in further making her presence known.

“Goodmorning.” She smirked sitting on the stool watching the brunette who gave her a look that she knew meant ‘don’t say it’ “What are you making?”

“Pancakes.” She answered,

Clarke looked around seeing burnt bacon decorating the counter and slightly burnt pancakes next to it.

“Sounds good, I’m starved you really did a number on me last night.” She smirked walking over to the coffee maker and making a fresh pot,

“You loved it.”

“I did.” Clarke could see she was struggling but she didn’t want to upset her since this seemed like something she really wanted to do, “I make bacon you make pancakes?”

“That’s probably best.” Lexa huffed, “It’s probably best if you made it all.”

“The pancakes look good baby just flip them a little sooner.” Clarke assured before starting on the bacon and pouring them both some coffee to sip on,

Twenty minutes later they were eating a breakfast of perfectly cooked bacon and a little less perfectly cooked pancakes.

“This might be the best thing you’ve ever cooked. “Clarke said honestly, they weren’t bad and for Lexa this was a major improvement. “Thank you for making breakfast baby.”

“It’s only good because you saved me. “Lexa sighed taking a bite of her food,

“Shh and take the compliment commander.” She smiled,

“Fine, Anya and Raven want to have a movie night.” Lexa said, “I told them I would ask you what you wanted to do since this was our weekend.”

“A movie sounds nice anything that we can do while also relaxing is preferred.”

“I’ll let them know.”

“In the meantime, I should enjoy you while I can before they arrive.” She smirked chewing up a rather burnt part of her pancake,

“You just can’t get enough can you princess?” Lexa grinned,

“Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i've been wanting some drama next chapter we might get some ;)


	10. Studio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for mistakes!

**_ NOVEMBER 2027 _ **

“You like this one?” Lexa asked, watching the blonde silently walk around the vacant building. They were looking at studio spaces and this was the twentieth property they had seen in two months.

Clarke was being picky, but it had to be perfect, this would be a space where people needed to feel safe where she needed to feel safe and creative. Huge windows were a must, they needed excellent lighting. Size was also a factor, it had to be big and so far, the current place they were viewing seemed to have all of these things.

The location was perfect in downtown LA, which was good, the windows were floor to ceiling, the space was huge definitely big enough to see patients and have a studio for lessons. It was perfect.

“This is it.” Clarke smiled looking at the bare brick walls that gave her a New York feel which she loved. “This is the one.”

* * *

_**PRESENT- MARCH** _

Nine months, two weeks and one day, that’s how long it had been since Clarke had to leave work to go on bedrest. She was only six months pregnant but with the many issues she was having the doctor decided it was best for her to spend the last three months at home. Of course, she obliged, whatever it took to keep her baby boy healthy she would do but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little sad about leaving her work.

Her studio had only opened a few months before and she had finally gotten into the swing of things, especially her patients. Being an artist was her dream, but she went to school for art therapy and she really loved it. Out of the four patients she had at the time of her pregnancy two of them were kids and leaving them was hard. It’s not easy getting kids to open up but she did and then she had to leave, and she knew they wouldn’t understand why.

There was also the fact that her art classes were booked up months in advance and she had to cancel that too. Ultimately, she felt like a disappointment, but her baby’s health was important, and she had to put that first. The studio remained open, she had other employees who had patients as well, so she was at least happy people were getting help at her business, but now it was time to go back.

Alix was almost seven months and it was always the plan to go back at this time frame. She knew it would be hard but all mothers experience this and it helped having a wife to be encouraging her.

Lexa was done with press for a while which meant she could stay home with Alix while Clarke worked since technically Lexa could do her writing from anywhere.

But now it was the day to go back and Clarke was beyond scared, she didn’t want to leave her baby, but she was also excited to go back too. She wasn’t seeing any clients and probably wouldn’t until after her wedding when things were calm, and they were getting back to normal life. Right now, she was just doing commissions and teaching a few classes.

“You look great baby.” Lexa smiled admiring the blonde in her tight high wasted black jeans and flowy green shirt, “Doesn’t mommy look beautiful Alix?”

Clarke smiled at the babbling little boy in the brunette’s arms, he had grown so much it was crazy. He was almost crawling and now there was the potential that she would miss it.

“I can see you freaking out.” Lexa said as she handed the little boy over, “We’ll be fine.”

“I know.” She murmured holding the baby tight in her arms, “What if he does something and I miss it?”

“Clarke relax, you’re only working for a few hours and I’ll bet most of those hours he’ll be fast asleep. You know he loves his naps.” She smiled trying to lighten the mood, but it wasn’t working,

“This was a bad idea; I should wait until he’s at least one to go back right?”

“Clarke stop, you’re working yourself up and you don’t need to. You’re going to go back to work and do what you love and when you get home, you’ll have an excited baby waiting for you.” “So, relax.” She said giving her a quick peck causing Alix to mush her face with his small little hand, “Jealous much?”

The little boy giggled before playing with Clarkes blonde locks ignoring his mama all together,

“Maybe I should take him with me.” Clarke suggested, she did have Ardyn set up a little playroom for him and the assistant wouldn’t mind looking after him if she needed to step out for a second,

“Clarke you have a meeting with a buyer today.”

“Stop being reasonable.” Clarke huffed, she knew she needed to go but it was so hard especially with the cutest baby in the world babbling and giggling in her arms, “Walk me out?”

“Of course, babe.” Lexa smiled grabbing the blonde’s purse and keys while she held the baby.

This would be her first time being alone with the Alix so she was a little nervous too, but it would be fine. She knew Clarke was excited to go back to work especially after being on bedrest and she was fully supportive, but she knew leaving Alix would be easy either.

When they got to the door, she could see the hesitance on Clarkes face,

“Be good for your mama ok?” Clarke said to the baby who just smiled unaware to the whole situation. She gave him a big kiss before passing him to Lexa,

“Besides your meeting what else do you have?”

“Paperwork.” She groaned, perks of having nine months off of work. She did as much as she could at home, but she was a little behind, “Patient files and other boring stuff.”

“What’s the meeting about?”

“Someone wants to commission some paintings; I don’t really know all the details but Ardyn’s going to brief me before hand.”

“You’ll be painting again that’s exciting!” Lexa smiled,

“Yeah… I should go.” Clarke said taking a long look at her fiancé and baby who couldn’t care less that she was leaving,

“Try to have a good day baby.”

“I will.” She sighed giving Lexa a kiss and Alix another one, she waited to see if he would do anything but there was nothing, no whine or cry. “He doesn’t even care that I’m leaving!”

“Clarke, he doesn’t know what happening.” Lexa said trying to suppress her laugh,

“Still, I expected him to at least cry or dramatically reach for me as I walked to the door causing me emotional anguish!” she exclaimed, “Instead I get a smiley baby who’s oblivious to my duress.”

“Have I ever told you you’re dramatic?” Lexa smiled, and Clarke just rolled her eyes.

“Yes, like a million times but you still love me anyways.”

“I do indeed.”

“I’m leaving before he breaks my heart even more.” Clarke said grabbing her bag and keys from Lexa before turning her attention to Alix, “This betrayal hurts but I know deep down you care I’m leaving.” She whispered, the little boy squinted his big blue eyes watching Clarke questionably before a big goofy grin broke out on his face,

Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction before the blonde huffed and headed towards the door,

“We love you!” Lexa yelled, grabbing Alix’s little hand to make him wave.

“I love you guys too.” Clarke smiled taking one last look at her baby before leaving the house.

She couldn’t believe Alix’s behavior, but it was fine, it was better that he wasn’t crying because then she would feel worse.

With a sigh she hopped in her car and started her drive into the city, it wasn’t far maybe twenty minutes, but LA traffic was always crazy, but she loved it. Living in the city was her dream and it’s where her and Lexa wanted to raise their family.

Usually, it’s the opposite but they’ve both lived and grew up in small towns and in their adulthood, they decided it’s not what they want. Plus, LA was somewhere they both could work so it was ideal.

When she pulled into her parking space, she couldn’t help but smile at the little name plate that decorated the front of it. It was something she did for all the employees but instead of hers just saying Clarke Griffin as usual it was decorated with balloons and a small welcome back sign.

She walked into the building with a smile as all her employees were there to greet her. There was food and cards and of course hugs and laughter, she forgot how much she missed this until she walked back into it.

She sat and talked with everyone catching up and eating before it was time to open and everyone got busy. Patients were starting to come in for the day as well as people for art classes. It was nice for Clarke to see that in her absence the studio didn’t fail, and she had her team to thank for that.

Her office was just as she left if with a few tweaks thanks to Ardyn who always managed to do everything she asked. There was a small play pin in the corner for Alix if he ever visits as well as a rocker that doubled as a bed. He probably wouldn’t use any of the stuff often, but she wanted to be prepared.

“Good morning boss!” Ardyn hummed as he walked into the office, two iced coffees in hand.

“Ugh, have I mentioned I love you?” Clarke said grabbing her coffee from the man before flopping down in her fluffy desk chair,

“One or two times.” He smiled, taking the seat across from her, “So how’s the first day so far?”

“Fine, Alix didn’t even cry when I left can you believe that?” she scoffed, taking a sip of her coffee.

“How dare he?” Ardyn gasped playfully and Clarke flipped him off,

“I hate you.” She snarked, the man laughing. “Tell me about this meeting.”

“Totally, so this Art enthusiast in Nevada saw your work and apparently has been trying to get a piece from you for months. Obviously, you were on maternity leave, but they were excited to learn you were coming back. She has one of her buyers in town on business so she said they would make time to come by. The person she sending has all the information about the commission.”

“What’s their name?” Clarke asked,

“I’m unsure of the person coming in today but the bosses name is Beckett Hill, apparently you did some work for a friend of hers not too long ago for a charity event.”

“Oh, yeah Karson!” Clarke recalled, “He’s actually one of the artist I met while I was helping Lexa with her book cover. He throws an annual charity event to raise funds for better art programs in schools. I did a few paintings to auction off last year.”

“If they were anything like your other works then they were amazing! Here’s some other information that I got from her.” He said handing her a folder before getting up to leave.

“Before you go, I actually wanted to talk to you. “Clarke said causing him to stop and sit back down,

“Ok.” He replied eyeing the blonde suspiciously,

“I was in the kitchen a few days ago where I came across some very interesting sketches on the counter.” She explained, seeing him tense up. “You’ve worked for me for months now and that was the first I ever seen your designs. Ardyn you are absolutely incredible, why the hell are you my assistant?”

“You know why Clarke.” He sighed, “It’s not easy making it in Fashion, you have to know people.”

“It also requires putting yourself out there which I know you haven’t done.” She replied, “Now a days you pretty much pick all of my outfits and they’re amazing, your designs are so much better than anything in store right now. And it’s why I need a favor.”

“A favor?”

“You can say no but I’ve searched high and low for a wedding dress that I love but I hate all of them. You know me, you know my style, so I want you to design my dress.”

“Clarke!” he gasped, completely taken aback by this whole conversation. “You want me to design the dress for one of the biggest day of your life?”

“Yes.” She said simply smiling at his shock, “I love you Ardyn you’re an amazing assistant, but you deserve so much more than taking my phone calls and running my errands. I believe in you and I know talent when I see it, so will you do it?”

“This is crazy, what if you hate it?”

“What If I love it and everyone in the world wants a design by Ardyn?” she smiled,

“Ok.” He nodded, “Thank you Clarke, for believing in me and for this.”

“Thank me by sending me all your designs first before they hit the stores when your big and famous.”

“I can do that.” He smiled before leaving the office,

In the eight months Ardyn has been her assistant he’s been nothing but incredible especially during her pregnancy. He never complained about anything and always did everything and more when she needed it. He was basically like family, everyone loved him and even if he was no longer her assistant, she knew he would still be in her life because he was a friend.

Talking about the wedding dress made her realize how much shit she had to do for the actual wedding. The only thing that was actually settled was the date, it would be August 6th. The date itself held no significance but it was a good time for them. It was after both of their birthdays and a month before Alix turned one. With the wedding out of the way they would be able to focus on him and the holidays and house hunting without wedding planning interfering in any of it.

That being said she had five months to plan everything, but she could handle it.

Ok, so there was a possibility she couldn’t handle it but if she told Lexa that she would hire a planner and she didn’t want that. The thought of someone that doesn’t know them planning their day didn’t feel right. But that was a problem for another day, right now her main focus was paperwork.

An hour into the dreary tasks she got a message from Lexa, it was a picture of a crying Alex with the words _‘These tears are for you.’_. She smiled saving the adorable photo before replying, ‘ _Glad I’m missed, give him a big kiss from me!_ ’.

A knock on the door took her from her phone,

“Clarke, your meetings here.” Ardyn announced opening the door slightly,

“Ok, send them in.” she stood up to clear some of the mess she’s made of her files. She could hear someone enter the room as she turned to her cabinets, she usually was more put together than this and that worried her. “Sorry about the mess, please take a seat.” After putting the last file in place, she turned revealing someone she hadn’t seen in a very long time. “Luna?”

“Hi Clarke.” She smiled almost awkwardly, as Clarke stared at her completely shocked that she was even here.

“I-uh you’re who I’m supposed to be meeting with?” She asked confusedly as the girl sat in the chair across from her,

“Yes, I work for Beckett initially another buyer was supposed to come but they couldn’t make it, so she called me. I was already in LA picking up a few other pieces for her, so it was convenient for me to come.” She explained, “I know this isn’t exactly ideal, but I figured you knew I was coming, like maybe Beckett mentioned my name.”

“She didn’t but it’s fine I was just surprised to see you.” Clarke said taking her seat looking over the woman in front of her. She still looked the same, beautiful caramel skin and dark curls but she looked older and more mature than the last time she saw her. “It’s been a while.”

“Since high school graduation.” Luna nodded, “I see you made it big as an artist like you always wanted.”

“I’m doing what I love so it’s really great, so what exactly do you do?”

“Well officially I’m an Art Dealer/Buyer for Beckett, she’s an art collector and owns a few museums throughout Nevada and California. Wherever she spots something I go and get it for her basically.”

“I never imagined you would have a career in Art.”

“Me either, but my degree is in Business and I always assumed I’d be in an office somewhere doing paperwork but then I met Beckett and got this job.” She shrugged, “It’s fun though I like it, I get to travel and see amazing art so I’m enjoying it. I walked by some paintings on the way in did you do those?”

“A few yeah, some are from the art classes we have.”

“They’re really amazing Clarke, I’m not surprised though you’ve always been a great artist.” She smiled and Clarke couldn’t help but wonder how weird this all was. That smile used to be the catalyst to all her bad decisions but now it was simply just a smile.

“Thank you.”

“I do have to admit though I have seen some of your work online, you and Lexa seemed to have a lot of fans.”

“Yeah, mostly I’d say they’re Lexa’s fans from her book but it’s fun interacting with them and fueling the love they have for her characters.” She explained,

“Congratulations by the way.” Luna said, “On your engagement and your baby.”

She wanted to ask how she knew about that, but it wasn’t exactly a secret with Lexa being so well known as an author.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.”

“Abby showed my mom some pictures at the grocery store apparently, she says he’s adorable which I don’t doubt not when you’re his mom.”

“I can show you a picture.” Clarke offered pulling out her phone,

“I’d like that.” The curly haired girl smiled,

Clarke pulled up a few she had when the little boy was smiling and handed Luna the phone. She watched as she silently scrolled through them with a smile that seemed really genuine. It’s not like Clarke expected her not to be but she didn’t exactly know the protocol for sharing photos of your baby with your ex-girlfriend.

“Clarke, he’s beautiful, he looks just like Lexa but with your eyes.” She smiled handing the phone back to the blonde, “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks Lu, how about you any special ladies in your life?” Clarke smirked while the other laughed,

“Not really, I travel a lot, so I don’t really have time for a relationship but maybe in the future.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone amazing.”

“Maybe.” She shrugged,

“Alright so I guess I should be asking you about the actual reason you’re here, your boss. What is she looking to commission?”

* * *

Lexa’s day had been good, Alix was being calm up until he realized Clarke wasn’t coming right back and then he through a fit. Luckily, she could calm him down with a distraction which today ended up being the ball pit that Raven had bought for him. It was small but he loved it and Lexa loved seeing him laugh so in turn it made her happy.

Once he was tired of the ball pit, they did other things until it was time for his nap and that’s when Lexa did all that she had to. Like cleaning the house, checking emails, dodging calls from Octavia about press stuff and of course writing.

Her second book was finished and in the process of being edited and she was close to finish the last one. Never in a million years did she expect something that was simply meant to be a short story for Clarkes eyes only to stem into something this big, but she was so grateful for it. Writing these stories have been an amazing experience and she was sad it was ending. She had some other ideas for a new book, but The Skai Princess and The Commander series is her baby, and she didn’t want it to end but eventually it would have to.

With the second book set to release late this year and the third next year, the pressure for a movie or a tv show was on. It’s not that Lexa had a problem with it, it actually excited her to see her words brought to the big screen, but she also didn’t want anyone ruining her vision. If she did and adaptation she wanted to be involved, she wanted a say and producers, and directors don’t always like that from an author. But Lexa knew it was the only way she would commit to it.

A cry from the baby monitor tore her from her thoughts, she sat her computer on the couch before running upstairs to Alix’s room.

“Someone must be hungry.” She smiled at the crying baby before picking him up. “Don’t cry, let’s get you some food ok?”

Once they were in the kitchen, she sat Alix in his highchair before getting some of the milk Clarke had pumped from the fridge. As she was heating it, she heard the front door open, it was too early for Clarke but maybe she came home early.

“Hey.” Anya said walking into the kitchen and grabbing a drink from with fridge,

“Oh, it’s just you.”

“Rude.” The older woman said before going over to Alix who was bouncing in his chair, “I came to see you anyways not her.”

“Here you can feed him while I finish an email.” She smiled handing her the bottle before going back to the living room.

Anya was notoriously known for not really liking kids, but she adored Alix like everyone in their family and she was good with him. She always helped when she could even though it usually ended with a breakdown if she couldn’t get him to stop crying claiming that he hates her. Which he doesn’t but dramatics run deep in this family.

Once she was done with her work, she rejoined the pair in the kitchen,

“Look, I’m doing something right.” Anya said as she lightly patted the now full baby’s back finally hearing a burp. “We did its Alix!” she smiled lifting him up so she can she his face, she truly was proud of herself everything she usually did with the baby ended in crying but now he was smiling.

Lexa smiled watching as her sister held the smiling baby in the air, very proud of her accomplishment.

“We’re making progress.” Anya said to her sister before turning back to the baby who for a second was full of smiles before his face turned sour and white chunky liquid was spewing from his mouth right on the Anya’s chest, “No!”

Lexa ran to get a towel silently laughing as Anya freaked out,

“No, no oh my god I just got this shirt!” she yelled the baby still in her hands as Lexa rushed to get cleaning supplies,

“I’ll wash it.”

“No, it’s ruined, it can’t be saved I never want to see it again!” she exclaimed, Alix looking at her confused before his face scrunched up, “No, don’t cry!” she pleaded but it was too late.

“Look you upset him.” Lexa joked taking Alix while Anya cleaned herself up,

“I’m sorry, it’s just a shirt I’ll buy a new one!” she said hoping that would some how ease his crying, “He hates me so much!” she mumbled before slumping off upstairs saying something about a shower.

“You always manage to freak your aunt out.” Lexa laughed, “But I know you love her, lets get you cleaned up.”

An hour later and Alix was changed and in a new outfit as Lexa prepared his diaper bag.

“Where are you going?” Anya asked rejoining the pair after a long hot shower and a quick funeral for her new shirt,

“To surprise Clarke with Lunch.” Lexa answered getting the rest of the stuff ready,

“Can I come I’m so bored today.”

“And here I thought you just wanted to spend time with us.”

“That too.” Anya shrugged,

They all piled into the car; Alix occupied by a singing bear as they made their way to Clarkes studio. First, they stopped for food getting the blondes favorite salad while Lexa and Anya opted for burgers.

Before the baby Lexa would bring Clarke lunch all the time, it was mostly because she was home alone and bored, but it turned into a habit and she was excited to be doing it now with their son. She knew she was missing him so this would be a good surprise and an opportunity to get out of the house.

When they arrived, Anya grabbed the food while Lexa got Alix and his bag before going inside. Of course, the workers were excited to see him since they hadn’t yet so that delayed them. Alix loved attention so he wasn’t bothered he was eating it all up. Laughing and giggling when people called him cute, but finally they were able to escape and head towards Clarkes office.

“Hey Ardyn.” Lexa smiled seeing the man at his desk seemingly working on some stretches until he saw them immediately excited to see Alix,

“Hey guys.” He smiled,

“We brought Clarke lunch, and I figured she missed Alix, so I thought we’d come by.”

“I did catch her staring at the photo of him on her computer screen earlier, so she’ll definitely be happy.”

“Is she busy?” Lexa asked, hearing a loud laugh filtering out of her cracked office door.

“She’s laughing hard, she better not be watching any of our shows without me.” Anya said skeptically,

“She’s at work Anya I doubt she’s watching any shows.” Lexa replied,

“Still that bitch is not above sneaking an episode or two in when I’m not around.” She mumbled,

“Her meeting ended not too long ago but apparently it ended up being with someone from high school, maybe you know her. You should be good to go on in.” Ardyn said before taking an incoming call,

Lexa had no clue who this could be but no way to find out unless they walked in, so she made her way towards the door a babbling Alix in her arms and Anya by her side.

She decided to knock even though the door was slightly open,

“Come in.”

The remainder of the door was pushed open by Anya revealing the last person on earth she expected to see let alone be the cause of _her_ fiancé’s loud laughter.

“Babe!” Clarke cheered before rushing over to the group immediately grabbing an excited Alix, “This is a surprise!”

“So is this.” Lexa said her eyes flicking over to Luna who was standing from her chair,

“Luna you remember Lexa of course.” Clarke said turning to the girl who smiled,

“Hey.” She waved but Lexa just gave her a forced smile mostly because she was confused about what was happening,

“And that’s her sister Anya and this little one is Alixander.” She smiled looking over to the happy baby in her arms.

“He’s even cuter in person.”

_She showed her pictures of our baby? Why the hell is she even here right now what is going on?_

“Luna was here on the behalf of a client.” Clarke explained once she turned to see Lexa’s face,

“We brought you lunch.” Anya said holding up the bag trying to ease some of the current tension,

“We were actually just finishing.” Luna said grabbing her things, “I’ll make sure to tell Beckett what you said, she’ll probably want to call.”

“Here.” Clarke went to her desk grabbing one of her cards and handing it to the girl, “This has all my information, but I’ll make sure Ardyn sends over everything as well. I’m excited to be working with her.”

“She’s excited as well believe me, it was really good to see you Clarke.” She smiled at the blonde before looking at the baby,

“You too Luna.”

“It was good to see you guys too.” Luna said to Lexa and Anya who didn’t really have time to say much else before the girl was out the door,

“Are you wearing my shorts?” Clarke asked Anya after finally getting a good look at her,

“And my shirt.” Lexa said rolling her eyes, she hadn’t even noticed until now.

“Well, if your baby didn’t throw up on me and ruin my new shirt I wouldn’t have had to shower and change.” Anya said before adding, “But I’m not holding a grudge or anything it’s just a shirt and it’s all good.” She said to Alix, but he wasn’t paying her any mind, he was too excited to see his mommy.

“Did he cry on you again?” Clarke asked a grin on her face,

“Yes.” Anya sighed,

“Poor baby.” Clarke laughed, “Come on we can eat in the break room.”

* * *

“So, Clarke, Luna commissioned from you?” Anya asked, dipping her fries in an obscene amount of ketchup,

“No, her boss did, I didn’t know she would be coming until she walked in actually.” She answered, hoping that would take Lexa out of her mood she seemed to be in.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so what have my babies been doing all day?” She asked, “Did you do any writing?”

“Not really, just some emails.” Lexa answered, looking down at her half-eaten burger. She wasn’t upset, _was she upset?_

“What about Alix, been missing me?” she smiled poking the little boy’s stomach,

“Of course, but he’s been fine.” She replied,

Clarke decided conversating with her fiancé was no use not until they were alone that is. Clearly, she was upset but she just needed to explain the situation.

“I was planning on leaving after my meeting so I’m just going to pack up some things and meet you at home.” Clarke said standing from her seat and putting the lid on her salad.

“Ok, come on Alix.”

“He can ride with me; I have a car seat and I missed him.” Clarke smiled grabbing him out of the highchair, Lexa nodded cleaning up her mess before heading towards the door.

“She’s in a mood, isn’t she?” Anya said throwing her thrash away,

“It’s my fault I guess.” Clarke sighed,

“You didn’t really do anything, you said you didn’t know she was coming plus this isn’t high school she’s knows there’s nothing going on.”

“Does she, she’s acting like she thinks something is.”

“She’s just being jealous; she’ll get over it.” Anya shrugged,

“But you know I wasn’t right?” Clarke asked,

“I know you would never hurt my sister, when I saw Luna, I didn’t doubt that for a second.” She smiled, “I’ll see you back at the house.”

“Ok.” She nodded, holding Alix close as she walked back to her office.

She didn’t like Lexa being upset with her, but she would fix it, she just needed to explain that was all.

It was only 1pm and she planned to leave at 3 but fours hours seemed good enough for the first day. Her meeting was the only thing she really needed to do, and she did it so home it was.

* * *

“You’re not seriously upset, are you?” Anya asked Lexa who was currently driving them back to the house.

“I’m not upset.” She replied,

“Your attitude would suggest otherwise.”

“It was just a shock ok?” she huffed.

“Whatever, just don’t be such a bitch to your fiancé when you get home.” Anya replied, “Just a little tip.”

They pulled into the driveway Clarke not far behind them, so Lexa went to help with Alix. She truly wasn’t upset about Luna it was just shocking to see her there and then they were all laughy and she met their baby, and it was weird. In high school she never talked to Luna, but she would always see the way she looked at Clarke even from a far. Today she looked at her with the same eyes that she used to, and it was un-nerving to say the least.

“I have to go.” Anya announced dramatically before walking over to her car,

“I expect those shorts back.” Clarke called after her as she walked towards the front door Alix in her hands,

“Yeah, yeah.” She replied before getting in her car and driving off,

Once inside Clarke took a drowsy Alix upstairs while Lexa busied herself with cleaning and anything she could find really. If a pillow was out of place, she fixed it, if any artwork on the wall looked the tiniest bit off center, she took it down and re hung it. She could’ve went on like that all day if a voice hadn’t interrupted her obsessive need to clean when she was anxious.

“Everything looks fine Lexa.” Clarke said walking into the living room and sitting on the couch watching the brunette straighten every remote they had on the tv stand. “Come sit, I’ve missed you today too.”

Lexa sighed leaving her latest task even though she was positive the firestick remote wasn’t centered properly; it was fine she’d just fix it later.

She took her seat next to the blonde who immediately cuddled into her side with a content sigh. They didn’t talk but Lexa knew she should probably start the conversation she just didn’t know what to say. Mainly because she felt stupid for even being jealous in the first place. Clarke was hers and has been for almost ten years, seeing someone she used to date when she was sixteen shouldn’t have any effect on her.

“I’m sorry if you’re upset about Luna.” Clarke said breaking the deafening silence, “I really had no clue she was coming until I turned around and there she was, but I hope you know I would never-.”

“Don’t even finish that, of course I know Clarke.” She interrupted, “Never in my life have I doubted that I was just- I don’t know stupidly jealous. I wasn’t expecting to see her, and she still looks at you the way she always has and that was weird and then I let my mind run into oblivion.”

“The day we got together was the day I stopped thinking about Luna.” Clarke said honestly, “It’s funny when I first saw her it made me realize how serious everything felt when we were young.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know I just- seeing her made me realize I was never truly as invested in that relationship as I thought. Being young it felt so serious and the heartbreak felt so permanent, but I literally feel nothing when I think of it now. Meeting you was like fate; you’re my soul mate and I know losing you would be a heartbreak I couldn’t survive.”

“You’re never losing me.” Lexa said quickly grabbing the blonde’s hand,

“I know.” Clarke smiled, “You’re sort of stuck with me for life now that you’ve not only put a ring on it but gave me a beautiful baby boy too. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried Lexa Trikru.”

“And you know I’ll never try soon to be Mrs. Griffin-Trikru.”

“Ooh, I love that.” Clarke smiled sitting up to straddle the brunette who welcomed her with open arms, “Say it again.”

“Gladly Mrs. Trikru.” She smiled leaning in to capture dusty pink lips,

“I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Me either, maybe we should just go to the courthouse right now.” Lexa joked knowing the reaction it would cause and her lovely dramatic fiancé didn’t disappoint.

“Maybe you should just go marry some LA floozy at the courthouse who doesn’t mind having her wedding dreams ripped from her bare hands!”

“Have I mentioned I love you?”

“Yes, now take me upstairs and show me how much before our lovely child wakes up from his nap.” She smirked giving the brunette one last kiss before standing up,

“Yes ma’am.” Lexa smiled following after her but last minute turning around, she couldn’t just leave it like that.

“Dammit Lexa leave the remote’s alone.” Clarke couldn’t help but laugh watching the brunette’s antics as she fixed the slightly crooked remote that laid at the end of the row,

“That’s better.” She smiled admiring her work before turning back to her beautiful fiancé and scooping her up bridal style, “Now where were we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter i'm thinking we get bridezilla Clarke and more cute Alix and other cute stuff... I'm still trying to figure out how long i want this to be!!!!!!!!!!


	11. Clarke party/wedding planner Extraordinaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dramatic Clarke and a little surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~sorry for mistakes~~~~~~~~~~~~

**MAY**

“I can’t believe you did that!” Clarke yelled following her finance into the kitchen as she tried to ignore the blonde’s antics all together,

“Clarke, I think you might be overreacting.”

“Overreacting?” she yelled eyeing the brunette who was casually sipping on her water,

“Yes, and you’re going crazy you need help!”

“So now I'm insane and you want to have me institutionalized!”

“What?” Lexa asked, “Clarke I’m saying you need help with the wedding because it’s making you crazy hence why I was looking up wedding planners. “

“I can handle it Lexa!” Clarke was having a rather good day until she came downstairs to see her Fiancé’ betraying her wishes and looking into wedding planners on her laptop. “I’ll have you know I’ve already set up three appointments to see venues.”

“That’s great Clarke but there’s still so much to do that you need help with.”

“Listen traitor-.”

“Really?” Lexa said trying to not smile at the blonde’s dramatics,

“Yes really, I have planned several school dances without breaking a sweat. I was chair of the fucking prom committee three years running and I bet you i can plan this whole wedding by myself with no help and it will be amazing.” Clarke scoffed, “And when I do it you have to give me foot rubs for a week!” she said before walking off,

“I would do that anyways!” Lexa called after her making her way back to the living room where Alix was crawling on the floor playing with Nova, “Alix your mom is crazy.”

“I heard that traitor!”

“But she’s also incredibly beautiful and i love her.” she added,

* * *

Two venues in and Clarke was sure there was nothing good in the world anymore. The first one was too posh, they weren’t royals, they didn’t need to get married in a castle and that’s exactly what it was. The next wasn’t too far off from Clarke’s vision but it was next to a burger king and just was not about to happen.

She was praying the last one would be it, the pictures online looked like exactly what she imagined for her and Lexa’s day, so she hoped they lived up to her expectations. It helped having Octavia and Raven with her if not just for the company.

“I thought the castle was nice.” Octavia commented as they drove to their next location,

“It was very-.”

“Pretentious.” Clarke interrupted cutting Raven off,

“Exactly.” The Latina woman agreed, “The one by the burger king wasn’t so bad, maybe they’d even want to cater. Their chicken fries are pretty good.”

“Please stop talking.” Clarke said ignoring the laughs as she pulled into the address that she was given,

“Wow.” Octavia gushed as she looked out the window.

Clarke had to agree, just the outside of this place was beautiful so she could only imagine what the inside would be.

Essentially what Clarke had in mind was a greenhouse rustic sort of vibe, Lexa adored flowers so she wanted a place filled with them and what better than a greenhouse. Surprisingly, that was hard to find in LA as a venue and they didn’t want to get married out of state. That would’ve been too much, and they didn’t want to put their guests through traveling more than they needed to.

They walked in and were immediately greeted by the owner, but Clarke didn’t even know if she needed to see the place to know it was perfect.

As they walked through the glass domed greenhouse Clarke was falling in love. Flowers and greenery decorated the entire place and since it was almost sunset the view was incredible. She could picture everything she wanted fitting perfectly in this space. It was big enough for the ceremony and had a separate space for a reception. Everything was perfect.

“So, what do you think?” Raven asked once the tour ended,

“I think I found the one.”

* * *

* * *

“So, why aren’t you with Clarke venue shopping?” Anya asked as she played with Alix who was currently crawling around in the grass playing with little dandelions, aka being precious.

“I was officially banned from wedding planning after I suggested we just use hard plastic champagne flutes.” Lexa replied while typing on her computer, “I didn’t think it mattered much but apparently it does. Plus, I don’t really care about any of it as long as we get married.”

“Thank god me and Raven decided to have something very small and plain.”

“When do you guys plan to get married?”

“This weekend. “Anya said causing Lexa to snap up from her computer,

“What?” She asked sitting up in the lawn chair and pushing her computer to the side, “Anya it’s Thursday!”

“I know.” she said plainly, “Abby agreed to plan everything she was very excited.”

“Why so soon?”

“We’ve been together for almost ten years, we love each other, and we didn’t feel the need to wait.” she shrugged, “It all started a few weeks ago when Raven started looking at wedding stuff but then she was all like ‘Do we really need to do all of this?’ and i was like ‘I don’t really care about our wedding as long as i get to marry you’ and it spiraled from there and now we’re getting married on Sunday.”

Lexa was shocked beyond words, the last thing she expected to hear was this. She wondered if Clarke knew but if she had she would've said something.

“I’m guessing there won't be many guests.” Lexa finally said after getting over the whole shock.

“The important people will be there; Gigi and Pops are going to fly in as well as Murphy and Emori. To be fair we told them about this weeks ago so they had some time to decide if they could make it.”

“Why didn’t i know?”

“You know now.” Anya smiled, picking up Alix who was reaching for her, “On another note he hasn’t cried once since i got here!”

“He loves his Aunt Anya.” Lexa smiled, “Back to this wedding where is it?”

“Abby’s and Jakes.” she answered, “In the backyard, as I said we’re going for simple.”

“Baba!” Alix squealed clapping his hands together as he bounced in his aunt’s arms,

“I wish I knew what that meant.” Anya giggled, “There’s one more thing I wanted to ask, we’re not doing bridesmaids and stuff, but we did want you and Clarke up there with us. Like as our best women you could say.”

“Oh my god.” Lexa gasped, she was sure she might cry, “Really?”

“Yes, you’re my best friend obviously i want you by my side.” she said, “Don’t make a big deal out of it though this is getting too emotional for me.”

“Of course, I’ll be by your side.” Lexa grinned, jumping out of her seat to hug the woman who hugged back instantly, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

* * *

“So, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Raven said nervously as they pulled into the driveway of Clarke and Lexa’s home. They had already dropped Octavia off, so it was just them,

“Ok, what is it?” Clarke asked just as nervous, she had no clue what to expect.

“Me and Anya decided to get married this weekend on Sunday and it was supposed to be in Arkadia at Abby and Jakes, but she just called me while we were leaving the venue and told me some sort of pipes or something busted and now i don't know what to do!” she blurted in one breath watching the blonde’s reaction closely.

“Ok, we’ll just have it here.” Clarke said before getting out of the car leaving behind a shocked Raven who prepared herself for a more severe reaction.

“Wait!” Raven called after her getting out of the car, “Why are you being so chill about this?”

“Because I already knew.” She replied a smile creeping on her face,

“What? Did Anya tell you?”

“No dad did, on accident though I assume.” She said, “He called to ask what kind of flowers he should get for your wedding this weekend.”

“Oh.” Raven whispered, “You’re not mad?”

“No, why didn’t you tell me though?”

“You have your own wedding to plan I didn’t want to stress you out but now I need you.”

“My wedding isn’t for three months; I can put it on pause for the weekend to help my best friend.” She smiled,

“You’re the best.” Raven cheered giving the girl a hug, “I do need one thing from you though, I asked O to officiate and I want you to be my best woman.”

“I would love to Raven.” She smiled giving the brunette another hug and begging her tears not to fall, “Now, what are you wearing?”

“I have no clue probably just a dress I already have.” She shrugged but upon seeing the disgusted look on the blondes face she recanted, “Or not.”

“I’m texting Ardyn, he’ll get you and Anya something amazing and I’ll call mom so we can start coordinating while they deal with whatever’s happening in the house.”

Clarke was already in planning mode as they walked in the house, she was texting making calls to the point where she barely even noticed Anya and Lexa sitting in the living room with a sleeping Alix in between them.

“Hey when did you guys get back?” Lexa asked walking over to the blonde giving her a quick kiss,

“Just now.” Clarke replied, wrapping her arms around the taller girl,

“How was it?” Lexa asked curiously,

“I found the one. “Clarke squealed, “It’s perfect baby, I know you’ll love it I took pictures and the owners going to send me all the details for us to go over.”

“I can’t wait to see it.”

“I’ll show you later, for now I have another wedding to plan.” The blonde said before walking off to the kitchen,

“Wait how did you know?” Lexa asked confusedly as she followed,

“Dad accidently told me a few days ago.” She shrugged,

“And you didn’t tell me?” Lexa gasped,

“I was on my way to but then I caught you betraying me and looking up wedding planners and I simply forgot.”

“Simply forgot huh, obviously you didn’t tell me as payback!”

“Do you really think I’m that petty?” Clarke asked, a smug look on her face.

“Yes.”

“You guys are so weird.” Anya commented as her and Raven watched the couple’s interaction, “I just learned we’re having our wedding here.”

“Damn right but fear not Anya, Clarke party/wedding planner extraordinaire has come to your rescue and I’m give you two the best backyard wedding you’ve ever seen!”

* * *

“Who the hell chooses Tulips for a wedding everyone knows those don’t last long out of the ground!” Clarke yelled looking at the disaster that was her kitchen.

The wedding was in less than twenty-four hours and it was down to the wire.

“That’s why I asked Clarke.”

“I love you dad but from now on you’re just labor, if something needs hung hang it if a chair is crooked fix it.”

“You got it sweetie.” Jake smiled thankful to not be a part of his daughter’s craziness any further, he made one flower suggestion and all hell broke loose.

“It’s like no one has vision.” Clarke mumbled to herself while going over her list.

So far everything was perfect, they had seating and food and Clarke even managed to find an archway that fit the backyard vibe perfectly. They didn’t have flowers, but she could handle that since no one else seemed to be able to. She also ordered a cake from one of the best bakeries in LA which she had her mom pick up and it was perfect.

Raven and Anya were two of the most important people in her life and she wanted to give them the best day possible. They told her they didn’t want anything grand which was fine, but she wouldn’t allow them to settle for something as simple as chairs and a few rose pedals. Décor was a must and she needed to set the scene; it was going to be perfect it had to be.

“Look who’s here.” Lexa announced pulling her from her tasks,

She turned to see her grandparents Gigi and Pops who already got ahold of baby Alix who of course loved the attention.

“There’s my Clarke!” Pops smiled pulling the blonde into a big hug,

“I missed you guys!”

“We missed you too sweetie.” Gigi said giving the blonde a quick hug before going back to Alix, “He’s getting so big Clarke.”

“Eight months.” She grinned looking at the little boy, his curls dark hair was growing but her and Lexa didn’t want to cut it. The thought of a cute little baby bun was too good to pass up, “He’ll be walking and talking soon.”

“He already says Nova.” Lexa smiled, remembering the day. Clarke was pissed his first words was the dogs name but hearing his adorable little voice made up for it. “It’s super cute too, he says Noba. Put the doctor says it’s good he’s putting things together like that so young.”

“Now he just needs to say mama.” Clarke said ticking the little one in Gigi’s arms, but he just laughed,

“Don’t worry sweetie in the blink of an eye he’ll be talking up a storm.” Gigi smiled, “I remember when my Jakey started talking, it was so cute but at times so damn annoying.”

“Love you too mom. “Jake said walking in the room with a box that Clarke hoped was the fairy lights.

“Alright I love you guys, but I need everyone out.” Clarke ordered, “There is still work to be done and I need to focus.”

“Where’s my Raven?” Gigi asked,

“Her and Anya are picking up Emori and Murphy they had a later flight.” Lexa answered before ushering everyone out of the kitchen with the suggestion of seeing Alix crawl because he could do that now too and they were excited.

* * *

* * *

The next few hours went by in a breeze and Lexa still hadn’t seen Clarke much because she was hanging things and going out for flowers and whatever last-minute errands she needed to do. There was no doubt in her mind Clarke could plan their wedding or this one, but she knew how stressed the blonde could get and she didn’t want that to happen.

“I expected it to be bigger.”

Lexa turned from her spot on the couch seeing Murphy, Emori, Anya and Raven standing in the doorway. With a smile she made her way over to greet them, she hadn’t seen them in person in over a year. They lived in New York and only visited every so often she was excited they could be here.

“What couldn’t spring for a place with crystal chandelier?” Murphy quipped as the smiling brunette approached them,

“We could but were not that pretentious.” Lexa joked giving the man a hug, over the years she got really close with Murphy. When she first moved to Arkadia many years ago she thought he was strange but getting to know him and seeing how close him and Clarke were gave her a better understanding of him and they formed a bond. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too Lex, where’s barbie?”

“In the back yard, I was going to convince her to take a break for the night.” Lexa sighed,

She sat and talked with the couple for a few minutes before deciding it was time to drag Clarke away from whatever tasks she was working on. She made her way through the kitchen jumping over boxes and everything in between before reaching the back door.

Clarke and jake were hanging lights and Lexa had to admit it looked really good back there. The backyard was completely transformed into the perfect simple space that both Anya and Raven desired.

“Baby.” She said getting the blonde’s attention, “Murphy and Emori are here plus it’s late and we’re going to order some dinner. Come inside.”

“We just have these lights to hang and we’re done.” Clarke assured,

“Don’t worry kid I got it from here go inside.” Jake nodded,

“But-.”

“No but’s, come on princess.” Lexa grabbed Clarkes hand dragging her back into the house where everyone else waited.

“There’s barbie.” Murphy cheered seeing the couple walk in,

“Grunge monster.” Clarke smiled wrapping her arms around the man, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too barbie.” He grinned,

“And you. “Clarke said to Emori who was holding a sleeping Alix.

“He’s perfect Clarke.” Emori smiled down at the baby, this was her and Murphy’s first-time meeting Alix in person since they live far away. “I want one.”

“Uh oh.” Raven called,

“I could see a baby grunge monster running around, can’t you babe?” Clarke joked,

“Definitely.” Lexa agreed, and Murphy groaned.

“Don’t give her any ideas.” He begged but everyone knew he would proudly give Emori anything she asked for,

The rest of the night everyone sat around and talked and caught up, the parents and grandparents went off to bed but the ‘kids’ stayed up to play.

Being together was like old times and it felt like high school, they were laughing, drinking the only difference was they were adults now and two of them were getting married in less than twenty-four hours.

“I can’t believe you two aren’t going to spend the night away from each other.” Clarke said as she walked Anya, Raven and Murphy and Emori out to the car.

“We’re not really traditionalist.” Anya replied,

“Plus, we have house guest.” Raven said,

“Fine but you two better be here tomorrow at a reasonable hour to get ready, ceremony starts at 5pm sharp.”

“Yes ma’am.” Anya chirped before getting in the car, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight guys.”

Clarke made her way back inside expecting Lexa to be where she left her in the living room, but she wasn’t, so she went upstairs. The bedroom was empty, and she knew there was only one other place to find her. Quietly she walked to the baby room seeing her fiancé peering over the black crib, a sleeping Nova not too far away.

Clarke made her presence known by wrapping her arms around the brunette’s waist who leaned into her touch.

“He’s so perfect.” Lexa whispered, hearing little whimpers and sighs as Alix slept,

“He is, isn’t he.” Clarke smiled,

“When the doctor told me, I may never be able to have kids I was so scared.”

“I know.” Clarke whispered; she remembered the day like it was yesterday. “But he said it might be possible and he was right.”

“Yeah.” Lexa smiled, “I want more.”

“Give me two years.”

“That’s a long time.” Lexa whined, pulling the blonde closer. “One year.”

“A year and a half.” Clarke replied, “Meet me in the middle babe.”

“Fine, a year and a half and we give Alix a little sister or brother.”

“I want a girl.”

“With big blue eyes and beautiful blonde hair.” Lexa added,

“Big green eyes and curly dark hair.” Clarke says, “I want her to look just like you, like Alix does.”

“She’ll be perfect no matter what, are you sure a year isn’t long enough.”

“It’s nonnegotiable babe.” Clarke murmured in the brunette’s ear before leaving the nursery,

“Don’t worry Alix you’ll have a little sister in less than a year.” Lexa whispered to the sleeping baby before joining her wife to be in bed.

* * *

* * *

The next morning/afternoon was hectic, Clarke was ordering people around and loving it and Raven and Anya were upstairs in separate rooms getting ready. Ardyn got them appropriate outfits and Ontari who arrived early in the day was doing makeup and hair. Everything was going as planned and Clarke was satisfied with the outcome.

The backyard was perfect, chairs were set, and a makeshift aisle was made so that both Raven and Anya could walk at the same time meeting each other in the middle. Fairly lights were hung, and red roses litter the lawn as well as the pool floating beautifully with a few pool lights. Clarke felt red roses was too generic, but it was last minute, and it was the best she could do.

It was 4pm which meant everything would start in an hour, they wanted to do it later so the reception would kick off as the sun was setting.

“Everything is beautiful Clarke; they’re going to love it.” Lexa complimented wrapping her arms around the blonde from behind.

“Says the woman who’s always doubting my planning skills.” Clarke replied,

“I don’t doubt you baby, I just don’t want you to get stressed. Planning a wedding while working and taking care of a child is a lot.”

“I know but I can handle it, plus it’s why I have Ardyn he helps me out so I’m not doing everything on my own.” Clarke assured her before planting a kiss on her cheek, “Now go upstairs and get dressed, your outfit is waiting in your closet and make sure Anya is ready.” 

“You got it Princess.” Lexa smiled giving the blonde a kiss before going up stairs.

Clarke did one last walk through around the backyard before heading upstairs to see the two brides. First up was Raven who was in the guest room.

“Can I come in?” Clarke asked lightly knocking on the door, hearing a faint ‘Come in.’

Opening the door Clarke immediately her emotions were a mess,

“Don’t cry.” Raven smiled, “Abby already did, and I almost joined if you cry, I’ll lose it and Ontari will be pissed if she has to fix my makeup again.

“Rae, you look beautiful.” Clarke replied, she was dressed in a long silk white dress with a slit up the leg. Her hair was in curls down her back and diamond earring in her ears. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’m about to marry the love of my life.” She grinned, “I thought I lost her forever but now I get to keep her forever and it’s the best day of my life.”

“I’m so happy for you Raven, both of you.”

“Who knew we’d be marrying sisters.”

“Back in high school I would’ve never believed that, but I honestly think Anya and Lexa were made for us.” Clarke replied,

“They were, weren’t they.” Raven smiled, wrapping her arms around the blonde, “Thank so much for today, I love you Clarke.”

“I love you too.”

“Everyone decent?” A voice asked behind the closed door,

“Yes dad. “Clarke laughed seeing the man walk in, he was dressed in a suit looking very dapper,

“Just came to check on my girl.” Jake smiled moving towards Raven, “I can’t take this, both of my girls are growing up too fast.”

“Dad we’re almost thirty at this point.”

“I know but I miss you being young and needing me.” Jake said wiping a stray tear,

“Jakey we’ll always need you.” Raven said giving the man a hug,

“I’ll give you too a moment, I should go get ready people will be arriving soon.” Clarke said before slipping out of the room.

* * *

* * *

Lexa hadn’t had much time to talk to Anya but now that she was dressed in the outfit of Clarke choosing, she decided to make her way to her sister who was in their makeshift office getting ready.

“Wow.” Lexa said admiring her sister who was currently standing in the floor length mirror,

“Feel free to tell me how hot I look.” Anya smirked; she was dress in a black one shoulder silk dress that hugged her body perfectly. Her short hair was in an intricate French braid that Lexa recognized instantly,

“You look amazing as usual.” Lexa smiled, “You did your hair like hers.”

“I showed Ontari a picture and she did it, my hairs a little too short but I think it looks fine.”

“It’s perfect.” Lexa said, braiding was something their mom was amazing at so as kids they always had their hair in different styles but their mom for the most part always wore her signature French braid.

“You I’ll get a letter for this?” Anya asked, like Lexa she received letters from their mom once they achieved certain things.

“Probably not miss I’m never getting married.” Lexa mocked and the older girl rolled her eyes, “I think you will, getting married is a big deal I wish she was here.”

“Me too.” Anya sighed, “But I’m glad you’ll be by my side.”

“I know that I always haven’t been especially after mom but I’m really happy for you Anya.”

“Thanks sis.” She smiled giving her a hug,

“Oh, and before I forget.” Lexa said running off into the small bathroom coming back with a ball of black tulle. “Clarke says you have to wear this.”

“A veil, really?” Anya groaned, “Fine, but as soon as the I do’s and what not are over it’s coming off.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with that.” Lexa laughed clipping the veil into her sisters’ braid, “Perfect.”

“Perfect indeed.”

Both Lexa and Anya jumped at the voice not realizing their dad had even opened the door,

“Geez, next time make a sound, or something maybe even say hey I’m coming in.” Anya snarked,

“I had to come see my little girl.” Gustus smiled seeing his daughter with her dress and veil on.

“I swear if you start crying.” Anya warned feeling her own tears burn at her eyes, “Oh my god stop making me feel things!”

“I just came to see if you were ready.” Gustus replied, managing to keep his tears at bay.

“Look at you all dressed up.” Lexa said pointing to her dad, she’s never really seen him in a suit, and she surprised one actually fit him since he’s practically a giant.

“Aurora chose it, although the guy almost couldn’t do the alterations since it was so last minute. Hopefully, you don’t move up for wedding too.”

“Please as if Clarke would allow that.” Anya laughed, and Lexa nodded Clarke would definitely not allow that.

* * *

Clarke got dressed quickly before returning downstairs in time to greet people. They weren’t having many guests just friends and a few others. First to arrive were Emori and Murphy, then Bellamy and his family, as well as Wells and Costia.

“Nice house.” Costia smiled walking through the door in a cute pink dress and her curly hair secured in bun,

“Thank you, glad you could make it. Where is Elinor?” Clarke asked,

“She’s in Europe, Raven called us two days ago telling us about this.”

“Well, I’m glad you could come.” Clarke smiled,

“Me too, I’ll be in LA for a few days we have to have lunch.”

“Definitely.” Clarke smiled; they were 100% the weirdest friends ever but neither cared.

Soon everyone had arrived, and Clarke went off to find Lexa and Alix, she felt horrible since she hadn’t seen either of them much today. Although Alix the little attention lover has been busy with all the company who couldn’t get enough of him. He was definitely a people person and he got that from Clarke.

It was 4:50 and everyone was in their seats in the backyard and Clarke found Lexa in the kitchen with Alix who was being fussy.

“What’s wrong?” Clarke frowned making her way over to the pair before stopping, “Oh my god stop! did Ardyn do this?”

“It’s cute right?” Lexa grinned,

Like Lexa, Alix was dressed in black dress pants and a navy button up that matched perfect with Clarke’s dress all in all they looked like the most adorable little family.

“It’s freakin adorable!” Clarke smiled widely making her way to the fussy baby, “Why is someone looking so handsome crying this much?”

“As much as he loves guests, I think he missed his mommy.” Lexa smiled handing the crying baby over to Clarke who took him immediately,

“My poor baby.” Clarke frowned cradling soft curls in her hands, “Mommy’s been busy, but I promise I’m all yours from now on.”

“But you do have to share because I miss mommy too.” Lexa added, giving the blonde a kiss on the cheek.

“Party planner extraordinaire duties stop here; I’ve done my job now all we have to do is enjoy.” Clarke smiled, finally getting the little one to stop crying. “We should go out.”

Clarke had to admit, even she was impressed by what she managed to pull off in a couple of days. The LA weather was perfect, not too hot, or windy and every decorated and chair and light was in place perfectly.

Her and Lexa too their spots at the alter where Octavia was also standing since she was officiating. Lucky you can get certified online which the brunette managed to do in the short amount of time. Clarke didn’t plan to have Alix with her as she stood as best woman but the boy was clinging to her for dear life so she figured Raven wouldn’t mind one little best man as well.

Right on time both girls came walking into the backyard both from different side with their fathers by their sides. Clarke made it so they could walk together and meet one another at the altar. At first, she was hesitant but seeing it now happening it was perfect.

Raven and Anya walked until they finally met in the middle both Jake and Gus giving them hugs before taking their seats.

Lexa was beyond excited for her sister and Raven, before Raven Lexa had never seen Anya so happy not even when their mom was still alive, so she was glad she found her person. And as the vows were recited and the loving looks were passed Lexa could help but look at her person and their little baby. Never in a million years did she think she would have this and by some miracle or maybe fate she did.

“Alright, brides.” Octavia grinned, “You may now kiss each other, but keep it PG.”

“Not a chance.” Raven smirked grabbing the back of Anya’s head and pulling her into a searing and deep kiss while everyone cheered.

“I love you.” Anya said as she hovered over her now wife’s lips,

“I love you too, more than anything.”

Just as the sun was setting the reception started and the music filled the yard as everyone danced and laughed and celebrated. The cake was cut, and food was ate everything was going amazingly. Alix was back to having a good time with guests after having some time with his mommy and Willa couldn’t get enough of the little boy. Although Willa was only three, she was very gentle with Alix even dancing with him for a while which Clarke made sure to get all the video and photos her phone could take. Nova was also having a blast being around so many people, a few hours in she was exhausted and passed out by the pool as the festivities continued.

“Mind if I have this dance?” Lexa asked Raven who was currently dancing with Gigi,

“I was just getting tired.” Gigi winked before walking back over to pops.

“Is this the don’t hurt my sister speech that I never got?” Raven smiled wrapping her arms around the taller girl’s neck,

“Surly I gave you the if you hurt my sister, I’ll kill you spiel.”

“Not even anything remotely similar to that.” Raven giggled,

“Well, you’re married so it’s a little too late for that.” Lexa replied, “Apparently I’m just a sucky sister.”

“You don’t suck and you’re a great sister by the way.”

“Thanks.” She smiled, “I asked you to dance well because I love you and also because I wanted to thank you. My sister is the happiest she’s ever been, and I know a big part of that is you.”

“Anya is the best thing to ever to happen to me, I know I may not have always shown that in the past, but I never plan to let her go again.” Raven said seriously, “She makes me happier than I can explain, I love her and I’m the luckiest person ever. So, you don’t’ have to thank me, I just hope you can believe I want to continue to make her happy forever.”

“I know you will.

* * *

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Anya asks Clarke who she was currently dancing with as Lexa and Raven danced a few feet away.

“Something boring like happiness.” Clarke snarked, “Dare I even say they’re having a heart to heart?”

“Hope you didn’t ask me to dance so we can have one of those.”

“I would never subject you to such torture!” Clarke gasped,

“I knew I loved you for some reason.” Anya smiled,

“But on a slightly more serious note, and I’m happy for you.” Clarke smiled, “And even though you are my sister, I’m glad my other found someone as amazing as you. I know I don’t have to tell you to take care of her because I know you would never hurt my sister.” Clarke said repeating the words Anya has said to her many times.

“Yeah, well I’ll take care of yours if you take care of mine.”

“Well, your sister is a piece of work, but I think I can handle her so deal.” Clarke grinned wrapping her arms around the girl who returned the sentiment.

* * *

A few hours later and things were dying down, the parents had already retired for the night and the newlyweds sped off to some secret location that Raven set up for them. All that was left was a few friends and a sleeping baby that Lexa was currently cradling.

“Do you want me to take him upstairs?” Clarke asked taking a seat next to her little family,

“I will in a minute, he’s just too cute and I wanted to watch the stars for a little while longer.” Lexa smiled looking out at the dark sky, “I can’t wait to do that, see you walking towards me down the aisle. Alix dressed in an adorable little suit-.”

“- and Nova in the cute little flower crown I ordered her.” Clarke squealed,

“Yes, and Nova.” Lexa laughed, “It’ll be perfect.”

“It will be.” Clarke agreed, “Just three more months and you'll be all mine forever.”

“I’m already all yours baby.”

“Yeah, but it’ll be official.”

“Ring or no ring this is forever.” Lexa replied, grabbing Clarke’s hand with her free hand.

Clarke nodded with a smile, “I did promise that, once upon a time.”

"You sure did." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i hoped you guys enjoyed i'm still trying to figure out exactly how i want this story to go if yu guys have anything you want to see like events or just moments in the life of Clexa then let me know. After the Clexa wedding i'm thinking of focusing a little more on Lexa's career and her fame maybe more babies idk! 
> 
> RAVEN'S DRESS: https://lohobride.com/collections/made-to-order-gowns/products/markarian-vesta-gown  
> ANYA'S DRESS: https://www.etsy.com/listing/231448201/long-open-black-dress-backless-dress-one?gpla=1&gao=1&
> 
> Thank you for reading make sure to comment it lets me know you guys are still interested!!!!!!!!!


	12. The Bachelorettes❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me for mistakes:)

**JULY**

“How about you tell that bitch that I will strap a bomb to her car and make it go boom if she doesn’t show up!” Clarke screamed hearing a knock at her door before seeing Ardyn pop his head in. She waved for him to enter before finishing her call, “Thanks babe, you’re the best love you.”

“And who are we threatening today?” Ardyn asks taking a seat in the office chair,

“Raven.” Clarke huffed, “As you know the bridesmaid dress fitting is today and Raven is saying she isn’t showing up.”

“Well at the last one you did disapprove of everything she picked out and even told her your wedding wasn’t the strip club.”

“You saw the dress she chose!” Clarke defended, “It barley covered anything, don’t get me wrong Clarke Griffin is no prude but that was just horrendous!”

“That is true.” Ardyn mumbled remembering the horrid thing, he was pretty sure he had nightmare about that dress even weeks later,

“Luckily, the dress is already chosen I just need her to come and get measured but no she’s ‘busy’.” Clarke rolled her eyes, “I’m busy too! I have five commissions to finish and a baby to care for and I’ll be there!”

“Is it possible you’re going a little crazy?” Ardyn asks, watching Clarke contemplate his words for what seemed like minutes but was just mere seconds.

“Possibly.” She admitted, planning a wedding was hard work and as excited as she was to get married, she was also excited to get it over with.

Planning this wedding has taken up 90% of her life the past few months and she knew she was going a little crazy, but it would all be worth it. She had everything planned to a T right down to the napkin color- which was champagne by the way. Everything was exactly how she wanted it and she couldn’t be happier she only hoped Lexa would be just as satisfied with the outcome.

“The wedding isn’t for a month and you’ve done everything you needed to, so let me handle the small details from here including fittings and dealing with Raven.” Ardyn suggested and Clarke sighed, she knew this was why she had an assistant, but it was hard letting go of the reigns even just a little bit, “Go home Clarke, work on your commissions, take a few days off, do something just relax I can handle it from here I promise.”

“Fine.” She groaned, standing from her chair, and grabbing her bags, “But don’t you dare tell Lexa that I let my craziness get the best of me. She’ll rub it in my face with I told you so’s and I won’t get my week of foot rubs.”

“I won’t” he smiled,

“Thank you Ardyn, I have no clue where I’d be without you.” She smiled, giving him a hug before heading to her car to go home.

* * *

* * *

**_Meanwhile at the Griffin-Trikru Residence_ **

“Did she really threatened me with an explosive?” Raven asked completely amused with the blonde’s antics,

“Essentially yes.” Lexa replied putting her phone on the counter, “Definitely one of her craftier threats.”

“Clarke couldn’t build a bomb if she tried!” she scoffed, “But I do appreciate her tactics.”

“Why don’t you just tell her the truth?”

“I didn’t even want to tell you. “Raven pointed out, “It was supposed to be a surprise but you’re too nosey.”

“To be fair it’s not really my fault, I only asked what you had to do, and Anya told me.” Lexa said, “So blame your wife.”

“No, I’ll just blame you instead.” She smiled, “But just because the surprise is ruined for you doesn’t mean it has to be for Clarke so keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you.”

“What’s with you and Clarke threatening people?”

“It must be a family thing.” Raven shrugged before feeling her phone vibrate, “I have to go, I’ll send Ardyn my measurements and that will just have to be good enough for bridezilla.”

“Great, can’t wait to deal with that.” Lexa mumbled watching the brunette leave,

Alix was out with Anya and Clarke was working so she was home alone for the first time in, well since before Clarke was pregnant probably. Usually, she would revel in the alone time but after Clarke being on bedrest and having Alix it felt odd to have a moment to herself. Granted there was still Nova to keep her company, so she wasn’t too lonely.

She decided to use her time wisely and work on the third installment of her book series. The second one would be releasing at the end of the year and she couldn’t be more excited about it. Writing this world has been therapeutic and life changing so for it to be ending was bittersweet, but she knew more than three books would be overkill and she didn’t want to ruin her series.

The end of the first book ended on a cliffhanger when Clyoe the princess of Skai is abducted from the commander’s quarters in the capital by the Ice Gods warriors, aka Heda Larson’s sworn enemy.

She knew leaving it at that point was cruel and initially it ended after the battle of the clans but that was before she knew she would be writing two more installments, so she made some changes. Everyone was anticipating to read what was next, so she was excited to share with them the continuation of the Clyoe and Larson’s story.

As usual when she wrote it completely enveloped her to the point where the outside world was practically non-existent. So, when a certain blonde walked into small office space, they shared in there home she hardly noticed.

“Home alone I see?” Clarke smiled, leaning against the door frame startling Lexa who was too entranced by her computer screen.

“Anya took Alix home with her because she missed him and demanded some alone time.” Lexa smiled opening her arms for the blonde who sat on her lap, “They should be back soon.”

“I picked up dinner; I really don’t feel like cooking.” Clarke said before giving her a kiss, “I missed you.”

“Me too.” Lexa smiled widely, pulling Clarke closer. “How was dress fittings?”

“I have no clue.” Clarke replied, “Ardyn’s taking care of it, Ontari and Emori sent their measurements so it was really only for O and Raven.”

“I’m sure Ardyn will have everything sorted.”

“I know, how about we eat, and you can tell me about your day.”

Clarke had picked up Lexa’s favorite burgers from a restaurant downtown that they discovered one date night. It was a small place, but the food was amazing, and she needed the comfort food.

“How’s the third book coming?” Clarke asked as she dipped her waffle fries in ranch.

“Good so far, it’s bittersweet ending it but I’m excited to work on new stories.”

“How much more do you have to write?”

“Maybe a hundred pages or so, I have a deadline soon but it’s mostly so Murphy can work on the translations.” In the book the Heda Larson’s people have a special tongue that they use, it’s called Trig and Murphy actually developed it for her. She knew she didn’t want them to speak just any language, so she was thrilled when Murphy’s creative mind literally created a whole language for her.

“Well, Heda, I’m excited to read it.” Clarke smiled, “I’m almost finished with the second one, I must say Clyoe is becoming quite the badass.”

“You should meet the woman’s she based off of.” Lexa winked,

Before Clarke could reply they heard the door opening and cute babbling that signaled their little prince was home.

“We’re back bitches!” Anya smirked walking into the kitchen, Alix in her arms.

“How was he?” Clarke asked grabbing the chubby boy who was more than happy to see his mommy.

“Amazing duh.” Anya smiled, “He only cried once and that’s when I took a knife from him-.”

“Anya!” Lexa yelled, “A knife what the hell?”

“Ok, first of all calm down it was plastic, and he only had it for like a second.” She shrugged,

“Maybe baby proof a little before his next visit.” Clarke suggested,

“That’s fair, but we had fun we even went to the aquarium which he loved I even taught him something.” She smirked, “Alix say Dolph,”

“boff! Boff!” he giggled,

“Close enough, he loved the dolphins.”

“He didn’t happen to say any other word like mama perhaps?”

“Nope, he did say Anya though.”

“You’re lying.” Clarke gasped, how dare her own child not say her name first.

“I totally am but your face was funny.” She laughed, “He’s only ten months Clarke he’ll say it soon.”

“Doctor Jones said this is the age they start to say mama and other short words.”

“Well, he says Nova.”

“Yes, Anya we know he can say the damn dogs name.” Clarke groaned setting the little boy on the floor where he then crawled over to Nova. The pup was sleep but knowing Alix he would wake her, and the dog wouldn’t mind one bit.

“Anyhow I enjoyed my time with him, I still remember the days he used to hate me.”

“He never hated you Anya, you just used to be scared of him which would make him scared.” Lexa giggled, going back to her food.  
“Yeah well now we’re best friends.” Anya smiled contently,

“Nova’s his best friend.” Clarke said pointing to the pair where Alix was currently snuggled up on the dogs back, 

“Alix I’m your best friend, right?” Anya smiled bending down to the boy who ignored her to play with the dogs’ ears. “Traitor.”

“Don’t feel too bad, he loves Nova more than us too.” Lexa smiled wrapping her arm around Clarke’s waist. “Did you eat, we have an extra burger.”

“Raven made dinner, she also told me you threatened to blow up her car.” Anya snickered causing the blonde to roll her eyes,

“I had a lapse in judgement.” Clarke shrugged, “But as you can see her care is still intact, so no harm done.”

“You’re crazy, I love it.” Anya smiled,

“I know.” Clarke smirked,

“Anyways I have to go, I have new hire who needs trained and lucky me I get to do it.” Anya groaned, “Alix can I get a hug?”

She bent down where the boy was still cuddled up to Nova but this time, he actually gave her the time of day and crawled over to her where she picked him up and gave him a big hug and kisses.

“Bye kid.” She smiled before setting him back on the ground. “Bye to you guys to I guess.”

“Goodbye Anya.” They laughed waving the girl off,

“Alright Alix how about a bath then bed?” Clarke cooed picking the boy up as he giggled in her arms, for the most he was such a happy little baby. He was always smiling and laughing, and his mommies couldn’t be happier about that. “Nova needs a bath too Lex.”

“Oh, you stick me with the dog while you get the baby.” Lexa teased, following the blonde upstairs. “Sounds fair.”

“Glad you think so.” Clarke smiled, “Nova never lets me bathe her, she’s always too hyper but she’ll sit for you.”

“Cause I’m her favorite.”

“We both know Alix is her favorite, they’re probably plotting ways to get rid of us so they can live happily together.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them.” Lexa smiled giving Clarke a quick kiss and Alix too before heading off to give Nova her bath.

“Alright baby boy lets get you all cleaned up.”

* * *

An hour later everyone in the Griffin-Trikru house was bathed and showered and in bed. Alix went down easy- probably tired from his day with Anya but Lexa and Clarke were thankful because it meant they could lay down early too.

“Ardyn thinks I should take a few days off.” Clarke mumbles as she lays on Lexa’s chest, lazily playing with the buttons on her pajama shirt.

“I think Ardyn’s right, you’ve been working hard you deserve a break.” Lexa replied, “We could have some family time, it’s been a while since we’ve all got to hangout together just me you and Alix.”

As soon as Lexa’s words left her mouth Clarke felt a pang in her heart, had she been neglecting her family? Was planning this wedding and working full time making her miss out on time with her baby and fiancé?

“I’m the worst.” Clarke groaned into the brunette’s chest, “I haven’t been here for you guys.”

“What? No don’t do that Clarke.” Lexa sighed sitting up in the bed forcing the blonde to do the same, “That’s not what I meant, you’re here everyday Clarke apart from the few hours you work you have not been the worst. You’ve been very attentive to Alix and me I just meant it would be nice for us both to take a few days, no working just being with each other.”

“Ok.” She sighed with relief falling back into the brunette’s arms, “What will we do?”

“Nothing.” Lexa smiled, “Just sit around watching movies coxing Alix to say mama and maybe get in the pool or something.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It does so what do you say?”

On one hand taking a few days off meant getting behind on her commissions and leaving the wedding stuff to Ardyn, on the other it meant time with her family which always come first. Her commissions were due for a few weeks and Ardyn could handle anything she threw at him, so she wasn’t worried. A few days off wouldn’t hurt plus she really needed the break.

* * *

A few days later…..

“Ma ma, say ma ma.” Clarke cooed at the little boy sitting in front of her, this was their daily routine. Clarke would take thirty minutes to tech Alix what she wanted him to say and Alix would laugh in her face and not say it.

“Noba!” he squealed,

“Damn you Nova.” Clarke mumbled sending the dog an evil glare from across the room, but she paid no mind to it, “Ok Alix if you say mama, I will buy you all the toys in the world for the rest of your life!”

“Bribery Clarke.” Lexa grinned walking in the room with their lunch for the day, “Really?”

“If that’s what it takes.” She shrugged picking the little boy up, “Unfortunately for me he got his morals from you.”

“He’ll say it soon.” The brunette laughed taking the little one from her arms and setting him in his play pin where he crawled over to some building blocks. “Now you, eat Octavia should be over soon.”

“Did she say what she wanted?” Clarke asked taking a bite of her salad.

“No just that it was important.”

“Maybe a work thing.” Clarke said,

For the last few days as promised Clarke and Lexa did nothing but lay in the house and spend time together with their little one. They watched movies, played with Alix out in the yard, took him in the pool, went on walks with him and Nova anything to fill their time they did, and it was amazing.

Clarke knew she needed a break, but it wasn’t until she took It that she realized just how much. She did still talk to Ardyn though just to check in and he assured her everything was going great. The bridesmaid’s dresses were ordered and even her wedding dress was nearly done. She had yet to see it, but she trusted Ardyn with it and she knew he would make it everything she ever dreamed of. Now all they had to do was wait.

“Knock, knock!” Octavia yelled coming through the front door with a huge grin on her face- a grin that Clarke knew all too well, a grin that used to do nothing but get her in trouble when they were growing up.

“Oh no.” Clarke murmured, “What did you do, or what are you going to do?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do Clarkey.” She smirked joining the pair on the couch, “I’m going to plan you the best damn Bachelorette party anyone’s ever seen, but first I’m going to give my nephew some kisses!”

Clarke watched as the brunette made her way over to the baby but all she could think about was what mess Octavia was bound to get her in.

“Where’s Anya she said she would meet me here?” Octavia asks as she held a giggling Alix,

“Why is Anya coming?” Lexa asks suspiciously,

“To plan you the greatest bachelorette party of course.” Anya grinned entering the room, “You guys should really start locking your door by the way.”

“Listen we both already told you we don’t want a bachelorette party.” Clarke said eyeing both girls who ignored her comment completely.

“Come on Lex, we’re going to the kitchen to discuss what’s to be the best day of your life.” Anya snickered grabbing her sisters’ hand,

“I’m pretty sure the actual wedding will be the best day of my life.” Lexa said,

“Yeah, that too.” Anya shrugged before they disappeared off to the kitchen leaving only Clarke, Octavia, and a drowsy Alix.

“O, I really don’t like when you make that face.” Clarke groaned seeing her mischievous smile,

“You really need to relax; I already know you don’t want anything crazy so it will be chill.” Octavia smiled, as she rocked Alix into his sleep, “Trust me as much as me and Rae wanted to do strip clubs and blackout drunk palooza it won’t be anything like that.”

“Then what will it be?”

* * *

* * *

“Look Anya I know whatever you plan won’t be conventional because I can’t exactly do what is expected of a bachelorette party like drinking and stuff so if you, Lincoln and everyone else want to go and do that I’m fine staying home.”

“Are you done?” Anya asks staring at her little sister who just rolled her eyes, “Good because obviously we’re not going to go out and celebrate your marriage without you that’s stupid. Plus, you don’t have to get drunk to have fun Lexa and I planned a good night.”

“Really, what is it?”

“Well, it’s a surprise but just know it’ll be great and chill and fun.” She snickered, “I do want to ask if you have any special request?”

“Such as?” Lexa asks her brow quirked,

“Like anything you want to do, special food request?”

“I’m sure whatever you’ve planned will be fine.” Lexa shrugged,

“So, then I shouldn’t cancel the strippers?” Anya asked seriously but Lexa just laughed,

“That’s funny.” Lexa said waiting for her sister to laugh but it never came, “You’re joking.”

“I may have ordered a few.” Anya shrugged,

“Well cancel them obviously!”

“But I won’t even get a refund.” Anya groaned; she knew she should’ve kept it to herself until the day.

“Why the hell would you even think that’s something I would want?”

“Raven said that you said you did.” Anya said before realizing, “And I believed that….. wow she was so convincing though.”

“You let your wife fool you?” Lexa laughed,

“I’m going to have a little chat with her later.” Anya said smugly, “I’m thinking like no sex for a week, hit her where it hurts you know?”

“I don’t really want to know.” Lexa said honestly, “Now if we’re done here?”

“I guess, it seems I have some calls to make.”

* * *

* * *

**AUGUST- Two Days before the wedding!**

Clarke knew she was being too silent just by the nervous look on Ardyn’s face, but she couldn’t get her mouth to move. She couldn’t do anything other than allow hot tears to roll down her face as she stared at her own reflection in the mirror.

“You hate it.” Ardyn exclaimed, his face terrified. “Oh my god, you hate it and I’m the worst! This is awful, I shouldn’t have done this! Clarke you shouldn’t have let me do this!!”

“Ardyn-.”

“No.” He cut her off turning away from her, “I can’t just- ok it’s ok the wedding is in two days, but we can find something else.”

Clarke only smiled as she watched the man freak out as he paced the blonde’s closet.

“Ardyn can you look at me please.” She said grabbing the man by the shoulders forcing him to stop moving, “This is perfect.”

“What?”

“This dress is everything I asked for and more.” She smiled before turning back to the mirror, “It’s sexy and flattering, modern but also has an old Hollywood flare. My boobs look amazing and my waist is literally snatched I mean Lexa is going to loose her mind when she sees me in this. But most importantly I feel amazing in and it’s the only dress I’ve tried on through this whole thing that has made me feel amazing so thank you.”

“Are you serious?” Ardyn asks, tears burning his eyes. Over the years he’s designed many things mostly for himself and for class in college but creating Clarke’s wedding dress was his first real project. So, hearing her words meant everything to him.

“I’ve never been more serious in my life.” Clarke smiled giving him a hug, “Thank you so much for this.”

“No, thank you Clarke.” He sighed into her arms, “Thank you everything but especially this.”

“As soon as everyone sees me in this masterpiece, they’ll be banging down your door for and exclusive.” She grinned, “And I can’t wait for the day when your clothes in stores, which reminds me I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything.”

“There is someone I need you to meet.” She said making her way over to her bag, “She’s an old friend and the meeting should just be simple studio stuff but with everything going on today I won’t make it.”

“Of course, just tell me when and where.”

“This has all the information, just ask for D and you should be all good.” Clarke smiled handing him the card, “Oh, and take the sketch of my dress I promised I’d show her.”

“Ok.” He nodded grabbing his bag and jacket, “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Speaking of maybe you can tell me what Octavia has up her sleeve.” She said but Ardyn wasn’t budging,

“No can do.” He smirked before heading out of the closet, “Love ya.”

“Yeah, you too.” Clarke smiled watching him leave before turning back to the mirror admiring her dress one more time before taking it off.

She was getting married in two days to the love of her life, mother of her child and the only person who truly knew who she was inside and out. It didn’t feel real and every time it didn’t feel real, she would just look down at the emerald green rock on her finger and remember it was very much real.

“Clarke?”

“Hold on don’t come in.” she yelled before scrambling out of her dress, there was no way she was letting Lexa see it before the big day.

Quickly she unzipped the dressed sliding out of it and hanging it so it wouldn’t wrinkle then she threw her robe on before walking into her bedroom where her beautiful fiancé was waiting.

“Hi gorgeous.” Clarke smiled sliding into the brunette’s arms,

“Hi, how is the dress?” Lexa asks giving her a kiss,

“Perfect, beyond perfect.” She gushed, “I can’t wait for you to see it and I can’t wait to see what you have in store commander.”

“Ardyn found me something amazing that I think you’ll love.”

“I’d love you in anything, I’m sure I’ll love getting you out of it even more.” The blonde smirked,

“I’m sure you will princess.” She laughed, dragging Clarke onto the bed and into her lap, “I saw Ardyn leave does that mean you sent him?”

“Yes, and he doesn’t have a clue.” She snickered, “I hope he won’t be upset; I did kind of violate his privacy, but I trust Davina and he deserves this.”

“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled Clarke, from what you said she seemed really interested in his work.”

“Yeah, I just hope he’s ok with it when he realizes what he’s really there for.” She sighed,

“He will, now let me enjoy you before O and Raven come drag you away.”

“Mhm, and how pray tell will you do that?” Clarke grinned, watching green eyes rake over her exposed legs,

“I can show you better than I can tell you Princess.” She smirked grabbing the strings to the blonde’s skimpy black robe,

“What about Alix?”

“He’s sleeping and Abby will be here soon to probably steal him away so if you’re done talking…...” Lexa grinned slowly removing the last of the robe revealing the blondes naked body, 

“Fine, ravish me commander.”

* * *

* * *

An hour and a half later a very satisfied Clarke and Lexa made their way out of the shower where they couldn’t resist enjoying each other’s company there too before they would part ways for the night. Neither of them wanted to but their pesky maid of honors were forcing them.

“I don’t want to go.” Clarke mumbled as she got dressed in a simple black romper before slipping some sandals on. “I just want to lay in your arms with Alix all night.”

“I know baby, but Anya and Octavia seemed to be putting a lot of effort in whatever it is they have planned and maybe it will be fun.”

“Did Anya tell you what you were doing?” Clarke asks, god knows Octavia wasn’t giving her any clues.

“Anya’s never been good at secrets.” She smiled, “She rented a cabin, so I guess we’re just going up there for the day.”

“At least you know something.” Clarke huffed, braiding her wet hair. “But it’s fine.”

“You’ll know soon enough.” Lexa smiled pulling her into her arms, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She smiled pulling her in for a kiss, nine years of this and now she gets forever.

A knock at the door made both of them pull back,

“Probably Abby.” Lexa mumbles against the blonde’s lips giving her one last peck before walking off to get the door, Clarke following.

“PARTY’S HERE!” Octavia yelled walking into the house, Raven by her side both with huge grins. “Ready?”

“No, mom still hasn’t come for Alix yet.” Clarke said,

“So, Lexa’s still here.” Raven shrugged.

“But-.”

“Clarke it’s fine.” Lexa smiled seeing the blonde’s hesitance, “Come on.” She grabbed the blonde’s hand walking her upstairs to the nursery where a sleeping Alix laid.

“I could grab him while you pull the car up and we can escape.” Clarke whispered as she pulled Alix out of his crib,

“That plans sounds enticing but it’s only one night Clarke.” Lexa wrapped her arms around her carefully enough not to disturb the baby. “He’s going to be one in a month.”

“I know, don’t bring it up or I’ll cry.” Clarke mumbled, “I love him so much.”

“Me too.”

Clarke gave him a big kiss before handing him over to Lexa,

“The next time I see you it’ll be a day until I get to call you my wife.”

“And I can’t wait.” Lexa smiled, “I especially can’t wait to hear your vows.”

“Oh, they’re a tearjerker trust me.”

“I’m sure I’ll be crying well before you even make it down the aisle.”

“I love you Commander.”

“I love you too Princess.”

* * *

Before Clarke knew it, she was in Raven Mercedes blind folded and annoyed, mostly because she already missed Lexa and Alix but also because this day had been so hush hush.

“One hint.” Clarke said from the backseat as a Taylor Swift song blared through the speakers,

“Will you calm down princess we’re almost there.” Raven said and Clarke huffed loudly,

The rest of the ride Clarke brooded in the back silently since she was blindfolded and couldn’t really do much. Soon enough she felt the car slowing down until it stopped completely.

“Alright Clarke come on.” She heard Octavia say before she felt a hand grab hers.

She let herself be led into god knows where, she tried to listen for noises, but it was useless all she could here was people talking and dinging noises as they stepped on an elevator.

She counted fifteen dings which let her know they were in a tall building which only added more questions.

“You’re too quiet, still trying to figure out where we are?” Raven snickered,

“I feel like the mystery has been built up too much.” Octavia said nervously, “Like you’re going to be disappointed if it’s not some grand thing.”

“Guy’s I’ll love it no matter what.” Clarke assured as they stepped off of the elevator,

They didn’t walk far before they stopped again and Clarke heard a door opened,

“Ok, here we are.” Octavia said before ripping the blind fold off,

“Surprise!”

Clarke opened her eyes seeing all of her bridesmaids (Echo, Ontari, Emori, Raven and Octavia) as well as Ardyn in what was the most lavish hotel room she’s ever been in. There were balloons everywhere and clothes reading ‘bride to be’ and ‘bridesmaids’ and It looked like they were in a penthouse suite.

“Guys, this is crazy.” Clarke grinned looking around at everything, “Hugs everyone!”

They laughed as the blonde took turns hugging everyone since she hadn’t seen anyone since Raven’s wedding three months ago.

“Thank you, guys, for coming.”

“Like we would miss this.” Ontari smiled, “I can’t believe you’re getting married; it seems like yesterday we were working at The Ark and I was scolding you for sleeping with Luna.”

“Oh god.” Clarke groaned with a laugh, “Don’t remind me.”

“But then a green-eyed beauty came and swept her off her feet.” Emori smirked,

“Yes, she did.” Clarke smiled, thinking of the day she met Lexa during the tour on her first day. It felt like a lifetime ago, but she was so beyond happy that it happened, or she wouldn’t be here.

* * *

* * *

“Wow this is nice Anya.” Lexa said as they walked into the cabin, she didn’t know what to expect but so far, she was impressed. On the drive up she learned the cabin was a part of some sort of resort so there was all kinds of activities to do.

“Told you it would be.” Anya replied setting the bags down, “Everyone else should be here already.”

Lexa nodded letting Nova free from her leash, she was going to leave her home with Abby and the other parents, but they were up in the woods and she figured Nova would enjoy it.

“There’s our bride.” Lincoln smiled coming into the room giving Lexa a big hug,

“Thanks for coming.” Lexa smiled into his arms,

“As if we would miss this.” Bellamy said joining them along with Murphy.

“Where’s Priya?” Lexa asks,

“She got stuck in Sanctum, but she assured me she would be here for the wedding.” Anya answered,

“Good.” Lexa sighed with relief, after meeting in group all those years ago the two remained close. They went to the same college and were even dormmates the first year since Octavia begged Clarke to be hers and she agreed. In a way she was happy for that because her and Priya got closer. She did still live in the Polis areas though, so they didn’t see each other much but they talked often, and she visits sometimes so their bond remained.

“Alright what’s first, they have so much shit here.” Anya said excitedly,

“I saw some hiking trails if you guys are interested.” Bellamy suggested, and everyone agreed.

Lexa had never been one for hiking, but she wanted to enjoy the day especially because she knew Anya put so much effort into it. And she needed to keep busy so her mind wouldn’t drift to Clarke or Alix- who she missed so much even though it had barely been two hours since she seem them. Luckily, Alix was still sleep when she left so she didn’t have to deal with a tearful goodbye, but it was still hard leaving.

“Look what Raven sent me.” Anya grinned holding out her phone, there was a picture of a blind folded Clarke flipping off the camera. “Your girl really doesn’t do surprises, Raven said she’s just going to tell her about the honeymoon thing tonight.”

“She’ll be excited.” Lexa smiled, “Thank you for that by the way.”

“It was all Raven.”

* * *

After changing into appropriate clothes and shoes they began their hike up the trail. California trails were beautiful and were always good for a good view which they had. Nova was having a ball as well running around everywhere which made Lexa happy because she was definitely a city dog so seeing her in some wildlife was refreshing.

Once they reached the top, they all sat for a while to rest before they began the trek back down.

“So, Lex how’s it feel now that you’re about to be tied down to one woman forever?” Bellamy smirked,

“I’ve been tied down to Clarke since the moment I met her.” Lexa smiled,

“Whipped.” Murphy snarked,

“As if we all aren’t.” Anya adds,

“She’s not lying.” Lincoln laughed,

“I for one don’t mind that at all.” Lexa smiled widely; she was definitely 100% whipped and she loved every moment of it.

“So, Lincoln when are you going to propose to my sister?” Bellamy asks the man causing him to sigh, “What you don’t want to be with my sister for the long run?”

“Of course, I do.” Lincoln said, “I just- I feel like I need to be more before I can promise her a forever. Like I need a solid career, so I can buy her a big fancy house and provide for my family and I just feel like that’s not me right now.”

“What are you talking about, you run a very successful gym and O is building her talent management business too.” Lexa said, “Both of you guys are doing great.”

“But what if it’s not enough for her?” Lincoln asks insecurely.

“My sister loves you more than anything Linc, she has since we were kids and I’m sure she always will. Opening up in a gym in LA is what you wanted to, and she knows that. You don’t have to be some big time CEO to feel fulfilled in life as long as your doing what you love. Mansion, apartment, Bentley, or a freaking run-down Honda, you will always be enough Octavia.”

“What he said.” Murphy smiled, “Plus we both know Octavia’s not letting you go anywhere.”

“True.” Lincoln smiled, “Is being married different?”

“Bell, Anya that’d be a question for you.”

“I don’t necessarily think it’s that different but there is that feeling of an infinite promise between the two of you that you can’t break. Before I married Echo, I loved her obviously but afterwards I loved her more and I didn’t know that was possible. She gave me my daughter and a life I never thought I’d have and making her my wife felt like the biggest accomplishment ever.”

“What about you Anya?” Lincoln asked,

“Marry Raven was the easiest decision of my life.” She shrugged, “Our relationship has only gotten better because we made a promise of forever in front of our family, not to say being married makes a difference but I do think it adds something to the relationship.”

“Anya being heartwarming, I love it.” Lexa grinned, 

“Don’t get used to it.” she smiled,

* * *

* * *

**_Meanwhile in Downtown LA_ **

“So, tonight is meant to be a relaxing night filled with girl chats and gossip- oh and of course champagne.” Octavia smirked, pointing to a case of alcohol sitting on a table.

“Basically, we’re having a slumber party.” Raven smiled, “Like we used to expect this time we can drink- legally and be pampered by hotel room service and the spa tomorrow morning.”

“That sounds amazing, I could use a drink.” Clarke said heading toward the bottle and pulling a few glasses. She needed the distraction so she wouldn’t be thinking about Lexa or Alix, but she knew that’d be a challenge.

“Clarke.” Ardyn said joining the girl,

“Ardyn.” She smiled turning to the man, “How was the meeting.”

“Well, when I arrived at none other than Davina Michaels offices aka one of the most famous fashion designers in LA right now- I was sure I was in the wrong place, but I went in anyways. Turns out I was really walking into a job interview of sorts.” He said straight faced and Clarke couldn’t tell if he was upset. “She said she loved my work, apparently my sneaky boss sent her pictures of some of my sketches. Long story short she wants to hire me on as her designing assistant.”

“That’s amazing!” Clarke grinned,

“You’re crazy!” he laughed, “I can’t believe you even know Davina Michaels let alone got me a job with her.”

“She taught an art class at Polis Uni one year and I was lucky enough to take it, she really helped me when I was in an art slump and she’s an amazing person all around and a hell of a designer. You’re way too talented to be my assistant, you deserve this so take it.”

“Are you firing me?”

“Yes.” Clarke smiled pulling him in for a hug, “You’re officially no longer my assistant, just my friend and an amazing designer to be.”

“I don’t know how I can thank you for this Clarke.”

“Thank me by pouring everything into this, into your designs and passion. Don’t hold back, put yourself out there go to Davina and prove to her your work deserves to be sitting in stores. Become who you want to be and that will thanks enough.”

“You’re incredible.” He smiled,

“I know.” She teased, filling enough champagne flutes for everyone. “Ok guys I think we should toast.”

Everyone else gathered around the table grabbing their glasses,

“To love and happiness and to Ardyn who just landed his first designing job and to what is to be an iconic career.” Clarke said lifting her glass,

“To Ardyn!”

“You better not forget us when you’re famous.” Raven joked,

“I would never, I’m sure I’ll still be able to pencil you in once I’m dressing Lady Gaga for the met and award shows.” He smirked,

Two hours later and everyone was a little beyond tipsy as they sat on the huge California king bed in their silk pajamas gossiping about their partners.

“You know I managed to convince Anya that Lexa wanted strippers at her party.” Raven smirked taking a sip of her drink,

“You did what?” Clarke yelled ready to attack her friend, there way Lexa would want that at all.

“Calm down, it was all ruined when Anya mentioned it and Lexa told her to cancel them.” She huffed, “Anya didn’t have sex with me for a week because of that! It was only a little prank!”

“She should’ve made it two weeks!” Clarke teased, “Lexa is not the strip club kinda gal.”

“I know that’s why it would’ve been funny when they showed up, but now that’s cancelled.”

“Clarke do you remember spring break junior year at the beach house when you and Raven got drunk and called Lexa and Anya?” Octavia laughed, “When you hung up you said you were going to ask Lexa to marry you, but you needed a ring and I told you, you weren’t marrying anyone because you’re 17.”

‘You also said to wait ten years.” She smiled, “We almost made it that long.”

“We’re getting old.” Ontari groaned,

“Speak for yourself.” Echo snarked, “30 is not old.”

“Remember when we were teen though, and everything felt so urgent?”

“Yeah and now things feel…”

“Right?” Raven said,

“So right.” Emori agreed,

“As the only single one in this room I must say it’s getting very lovey in here.” Ardyn added,

“You’re not bringing anyone to the wedding?” Octavia asks,

“No, I’m not really seeing anyone and bringing some rando from tinder sounds awful.”

“How about you ask Jax?” Octavia smirked, “He thinks you’re cute and I really think you two would get along.”

“He said I’m cute?” Ardyn blushed.

“Oh, he said way more than that! Should I give him your number?”

“Mhm, I guess it wouldn’t hurt.” He shrugged, “Worse thing could happen is he sings me to sleep with that angelic voice of his.” He smirked and everyone laughed,

“Oh Clarke!” Raven exclaimed, “I totally forgot I have a surprise for you.”

She smiled running into the other room to grab her bag before running back with it,

“Remember that day you threatened to blow up my car because I was too busy to go to the dress fitting?”

“Maybe.” Clarke shrugged,

“Well liar, I was busy with this.” She smiled handing her two pieces of paper,

Clarke took them realizing they were plane tickets to the Caribbean,

“Raven.” She gasped, “No way I can’t accept this.”

“You can and you will!” she demanded, “If it’s about the cost then it really didn’t cost much, one of the houses Evelyn left me is in St. Lucia so you don’t have to worry about hotels. And the plane tickets are a gift from me and Anya, if it makes you feel better Lexa demanded to pay for anything else.”

“She knew?”

“Yes, because my annoying wife is incapable of keeping a secret but I wanted to surprise you.”

“This is incredible Raven.” She said wrapping her arms around the brunette, “Thank you so much, I love you.”

“I love you too Clarke.”

The rest of the night went pretty chill and by the end of it half of them were passed out while the others were drunk watching Breaking Dawn and talking about how Alice was the best character in the whole saga. It was only 9pm but they had started drinking pretty early but Clarke was having a good time. She was scared that Octavia had planned some club outing or something typical for a bachelorette party, but this was perfect. Having a slumber party with all her girls and best gay was exactly what she needed but she did wonder what Lexa was up to.

“I’ll be back.” she whispered to Raven and Ardyn who were half asleep before walking into the other room.

She grabbed her phone from her bag before stepping onto the balcony that looked over LA and the Hollywood sign. She clicked on the name she needed more holding it to her ear.

**“Clarke, is everything ok?”**

“Yeah.” She smiled, “Everything’s fine I just missed you…. And I may be a little drunk right now.”

Lexa laughed,

**“Drunk dialing me huh, call to tell me you can’t go through with it.”**

“You can’t escape me that easy commander.”

**“And I never want to.”**

“I called because I wanted to hear your voice and see what you were doing.”

**“Well, Anya and Bellamy are currently arguing which Marvel superhero is better while the rest of us watch.” Lexa giggled, “Pretty entertaining stuff.”**

“I hope you told them it’s Black Widow!”

**“I’m not an idiot Clarke!”**

“I knew I loved you for some reason.” Clarke smiled, “How’s our littlest groomsman, I wanted to facetime but can’t have my son seeing me all tipsy.”

**“He’s good, dad said he’s having a ball with Willa and even using his walker toy so hopefully he’ll be up on his own soon.”**

“I miss him, and you and Nova...”

**“Me too baby but if it’s any consolation Nova is having a ball being up here in the woods.”**

“You better have taken lots of pictures and photos of her.”

**“Of course, I’m not a monster!”**

“I’m so glad I found you Lexa, I don’t know what I would’ve done if hadn’t.”

“Me either, but we did and now we have what at one time we never thought we would and that’s happiness.”

“And I promise to make you happy forever, you and Alix and all of our kids to come.”

 **“How many future kids are we talking?”** Lexa asks and Clarke could practically see the grin on the woman’s face,

“Two more max.”

**“Three.”**

“Two and maybe another dog.” Clarke smiled,

**“We can’t just have three kids it’s so unbalanced.” Lexa argued,**

“Says the woman who doesn’t have to carry them.”

**“That’s fair, I’m willing to negotiate two then.”**

“So gracious of you commander.” She laughed,

 **“I know.”** She smiled, **“Now because I know you so well, I can practically hear the sleepiness in your voice, go lay down princess.”**

“But I want to stay up and talk to you.” She whined,

**“Too bad, you need your sleep.”**

“Fine.” She pouted,

**“Goodnight my beautiful princess.” She smiled,**

“Goodnight commander, I love you.”

**“I love you more.”**

* * *

**[My Tumblr 🤍](http://lexkru.tumblr.com/) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was never meant to take me this long i kind of just felt like i had no clue what i wanted this story to become but after getting and idea for Clexa's future i think i've finally figured it out! Next up the Wedding! 🤍 
> 
> Thank you for reading as usual and feedback is wanted and welcome so don't hesitate to comment!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
> 
> Thank you for 10,000 hits!

**Author's Note:**

> i'm going to strive for one chapter a week, love you for reading.


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